Honor Killings in America?

As an American, the concept of honor killings seems very far away to me. However, it’s coming into the forefront as Fox News is reporting that the shootings of two Texas teenagers by their father in 2008 falls under that category.  Despite Fox’s readiness to condemn Muslims out of hand, though, I think it’s worthwhile to look at the bigger picture, which the possibility of “honor killings” is just one part of.

From Fox News:

On New Year’s Day 2008, two Texas teenagers Amina and Sarah Said were shot dead, their bloodied bodies left in a taxi cab. The alleged shooter: their father Yaser Said.
In fact, Sarah appears to identify her Dad as the murderer in a 9-11 call – her dying words.

For more than two years the Fox News Reporting team has been following this story and the search for Yaser Said, who vanished the night of the murders.

Yeah, Said seems like a real gem. He married the girls’ mother Patricia when she was just fifteen, and their marriage was allegedly fraught with horribly violent abuse.

As if that isn’t creepy enough, he had an obsession with his video camera … and began secretly taping his daughters’ every moves as their status as American teenagers—and what that entails—became clear. He taped them walking the dog, on their computers, and getting into and out of the car. The sexual overtones are pretty hard to miss, such as zooming in on specific features and obsessing–vocally–over how pretty the girls are.

As is perhaps the most disturbing part of video footage obtained by Fox News. Basically, Said and a friend pretty much stalked his daughter Sarah while she was at work, noting that she was smiling too much and opening up conversations with customers. It’s obvious from comments caught on Said’s own video that Sarah is in big trouble.

Amina Said, who was with the two men, stood up for sister, explaining that being friendly and engaging in conversations with customers was part of Sarah’s job. Finally, Amina clearly becomes frustrated and makes a statement that’s absolutely chilling in light of what ended up happening to herself and her sister:

“Can we go, guys? I’m kind of tired. We can spy on Sarah another day.”

In any case like this, the obvious question is, “Why?” Much has been made over the fact that Yaser Said, originally from Egypt although he’s lived in the U.S. for nearly thirty years, is a Muslim.

If Yaser Said killed his daughters, what was his motive? His American wife Tissy claims he did so because their girls were dating boys that weren’t Muslim.
Continue reading



You Might Also Like ...

Turns Out Tressa Middleton’s Pregnancy at Twelve Was the Result of Rape by her Brother

photo of britain's youngest mom tressa middleton

Britain’s Daily Mail just reported that Tressa Middleton’s pregnancy at the age of twelve was not the result of casual drunken sex as previously believed (and as I previously responded to here). Turns out the story is even more complex — and even more tragic — than many might have thought:

Her baby was the product of a rape and the child’s father – the perpetrator of the attack – was her own brother.

Last year, Jason Middleton, then 19, was jailed for four years for the attack. He was 16 when it happened, at the family home in West Lothian, five years older than his sister.

Because of her age at the time, Tressa could not be identified as his sister, or named, so the two stories could never be linked.

Uh … wow. Although I responded to the facts as they had been previously reported (that Tressa Middleton was a drunken product of a horrible home environment), I feel horrible in light of these new revelations.  Because of the fact that Jason Middleton was jailed for the attack and the timeline coincides, it seems that Tressa’s story is completely true:

Yet, today, partly because her relationship with her family seems beyond repair and also for her own peace of mind, Tressa has taken the extraordinarily brave step of waiving her legal right to anonymity (one afforded to all rape victims, whatever their age), to tell the Daily Mail the truth about how her child came to be.

I am honestly kind of impressed with this young woman’s courage in coming forward with such an obviously painful incident. A part of me remains a bit cynical about how she allowed herself to be portrayed by the media, but I applaud her for coming out with the truth (and the media certainly spins things in the direction it wants them to go in many cases).

However, I stand by my opinion that the little girl born as a result of this debacle should be left alone with her adoptive family. Tressa Middleton should be allowed to move on with her life, and she should allow her child the same opportunity.

I went out with a group of college friends in the home state of one of them once. We congregated at the home of “Sally,” the childhood friend of one of my buds. I noticed various pictures of a baby on top of her bureau when we were getting dressed to hit the club and asked Sally if it was her niece or something. I was at first embarrassed when she informed me that it was the baby she’d given up for adoption when she was sixteen, but then I was just so impressed with Sally’s strength of character. She was thrilled with six month updates via letters and pictures that allowed her the peace of mind in knowing that her child was living a wonderful life where she was loved, cared for, happy, and healthy.

Sally thinks about her baby girl every day, but she knows that her decision was right for her child. So does Tressa Middleton. So while I certainly feel differently about her than I did when I wrote a post in response to the prior Daily Mail article, I am still frustrated by her inability to give her child the gift of a normal life.

Tressa Middleton said in the new article, “Babies always love their mothers, don’t they? It’s one of them things about life.” Man, this story continues to break my heart.

What do you think about the new developments?



You Might Also Like ...

Mo’Nique’s Brother Admits to Years of Sexually Abusing the Star

While sibling molestation is an often under-discussed topic in today’s society, it didn’t deter Precious star, Mo’Nique, from admitting to being a victim when she was a young child.

Mo’Nique spoke with Essence magazine almost two years ago and raised allegations against her own brother for incestuous behaviors when the two were seven and thirteen, respectively.

Initially, Mo’Nique stated that although she had voiced her concerns to her parents about the abuse, no one believed her enough to do anything:

“I was molested by my older brother. And even when I confronted him and told my parents, he said I was lying, and nothing was really done … I’m not blaming my parents because me and my brother were both their children, and I just don’t know the kind of position they felt they were in. My father was very upset, but it never got mentioned again. I’ll never forget my mother saying, ‘If it’s true, it will surface again,’ and I remember thinking, Why would I lie? Why is there even an if in this?”

While her parents didn’t initially believe her or agree that there were bad circumstances afoot, it didn’t stop her brother from coming forward — years and years later — on Oprah to admit and apologize for his behavior.

Mo’Nique’s brother, Gerald Imes, was a guest on Oprah’s talk show today and discussed the allegations pending against him for many years. He blames the molestation incidents on the fact that he, himself, was molested and had been under the influence of some pretty hard drugs at a very young age. Imes spoke exclusively to Oprah and stated:

“I started using cocaine, heroine, alcohol at the age of 11. I used these drugs to hide my own pain, to hide my own fears. The drugs allowed me and afforded me the opportunity to hurt my sister.”

Imes is now asking for Mo’Nique’s  forgiveness and claims that he wants to repair the myriad years of estrangement and bad feelings by starting fresh with a clean familial slate.

Do you think it’s possible to start over after a close family member has hurt you in such a deep way? Is it ever possible to completely forgive a person in this capacity for completely obliterating your child-like innocence? Even if you found you were able to forgive, would you want this person as a close part of your life in the thereafter?

Thoughts?



You Might Also Like ...

  • No Related Posts