Category Archives: domestic issues

Chris Brown Sucks, Another Illustration

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photo of chris brown tattoo pictures
Chris Brown recently got a tattoo on his neck. And quite honestly, the tattoo looks a lot like Rihanna’s face after Chris Brown punched it several times. Brown says this is not the case and it’s a MAC cosmetics drawing associated with the Mexican celebration of the Day of the Dead. It’s a drawing of a woman’s face—the right side is lovely and well made up and the left side is a skull.

I’m not going to go into how completely ridiculous it is for a man to get a MAC cosmetics drawing tattooed on his neck, because people get ridiculous tattoos and it’s their own business—even I have one. I will, however, state that it is ridiculous for Chris Brown to tattoo anything having to do with women on his body. Furthermore, as far as my research has shown, Chris Brown is not Mexican in any way. Its one thing to respect and be interested in the culture … it’s another to tattoo a cosmetics drawing of a heritage that has nothing to do with you on your neck. What it boils down to is he saw this drawing of a woman that was half alive and half dead and tattooed it on his neck because he sucks.

He gets away with being an awful, terrible, horrible person. Remember when all of this happened and the Hollywood community rallied around Brown? Yeah, that happened. They either didn’t say anything or said crap like this:

Carrie Underwood: “I don’t think anybody actually knows what happened. I have no advice.”

Lindsay Lohan: “I have no comment on that. That’s not my relationship. I think they’re both great people.”

Nia Long: “I know both of them well. They’re young, and all we can do is pray for them at this point.”

Mary J. Blige: “They’re both young and beautiful people, and that’s it.”

When a picture of Brown on a jet ski in Miami came out, Usher said on a video, “I’m a little disappointed in this …

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I Want to Talk About Rihanna and Chris Brown for a Minute

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photo of rihanna and chris brown pics

In 2009, Chris Brown beat the hell out of Rihanna. There’s no other way to put that—he beat the hell out of her.  He punched her with one hand and drove a car with the other, he bit her, he threatened to kill her, and left her on the side of the road. And that’s just what I remember from reading the police report years ago. I also remember how nothing really happened to him. He went on to perform at the Grammys two years later, and the hip hop community rallied around him. Rihanna went back to him for a minute, he had a hit album, she worked with him again, and then stopped being friends with him when he was disrespectful to her on Twitter, and now? Now she’s crying over him on Oprah’s new show.

It’s three years later and she is sitting on Oprah, crying over the guy that punched her in the head. She said, “It was a weird, confusing space to be in because as angry as I was, as angry and hurt and betrayed, I just felt like he made that mistake because he needed help.’Who’s gonna help him?’ Nobody’s gonna say he needs help; everybody’s gonna say he’s a monster without looking at the source. I was more concerned about him.”

Oh, he made that mistake because he needed help … that’s why? It’s not because he’s a spoiled dickhead who has never had a repercussion for anything he’s ever done. That’s not it, that couldn’t be the reason. He needs help; poor Chris Brown needs help and your tears and your help. He split your face open, but please be worried about him. Get some self-worth and awareness, Rihanna.

This makes me so angry. I don’t get it. I don’t get why she does this. I have a theory that girls from the age 13-29 are idiots, and that must be what is going on here. I get being with a bad guy, because I’ve stayed with bad guys—though I never stayed with a guy who punched me in the head and sent me to the hospital and I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t cry over that guy—but whatever.

Rihanna isn’t crying over some guy that made a mistake once and begged for her forgiveness and swore he’d never do it again. She’s crying over a guy who makes homophobic slurs, threatens to kill people, wrecked a hotel room after being asked about beating her up, and so on.

I pitched this idea with the intent of really digging in and looking at why she would behave this way, but I just can’t. The more research I did, the angrier I got. This wasn’t some domestic abuse situation where she COULDN’T leave. Rihanna is disgustingly rich and constantly surrounded by an entourage, and she could’ve gotten out at any time. And? Don’t you dare tell me this was the first time he hit her. It happened before and she let it happen and everyone around her let it happen and now she’s going on Oprah, crying about how hurt he was in all of this.

I don’t know how Chris Brown does it. I don’t know if his penis is made of gold, or he is the best con man alive but he somehow has managed to make beating the crap out of a skinny little girl and make it okay. It’s okay that some guy busted her face up? Is that right? It’s fine that this horrible, disgusting violence happened to her? What’s not okay is that he got bad press about it. It’s not okay that HE wasn’t protected. My mind is blown.

I never thought Rihanna was a good role model. Every song is about her getting railed—and that’s fine; the girl likes her sex, so do I. I mean, I don’t put it in every conversation like she does in all her songs, but that’s neither here nor there. The point I’m trying to make is there are a lot of young girls out there looking for a “rude boy” and when he hauls off and punches them in their head all they’ll hear is Rihanna saying, “He needs help … who’s going to help him?” Shame on her. And I really hope in a parallel moment that Oprah looks at her and says, “Girl, are you crazy?” because someone needs to explain that this isn’t okay, someone needs to stand up in this fight and say Chris Brown is a low as they come and he should lose everything.



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Possible Link Between Childhood Spanking and Mental Illness?

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Cartoon of Dennis the Menace Being Spanked
According to the medical journal Pediatrics, there appears to be a link between childhood spanking and adult mental illness … or at least that’s the headline making the rounds.  (And, in case you can’t tell from my tone here, I’m calling shenanigans on this one)

From Yahoo:

Researchers examined data from more than 34,000 adults and found that being spanked significantly increased the risk of developing mental health issues as adults. According to their results, corporal punishment is associated with mood disorders, including depression and anxiety, as well as personality disorders and alcohol and drug abuse. They estimate that as much as 7 percent of adult mental illness may be attributable to childhood physical punishment, including slapping, shoving, grabbing, and hitting.

I guess my concern is, what exactly is the definition of “spanking” we’re working with here?

I know very few adults, both in my age group and on either end of it, that were not spanked as children at one point or another.  I personally was spanked pretty consistently (which should probably have demonstrated to my parents how ineffective beating on your kid’s butt is as punishment, but that’s a different story), and I don’t think being spanked as a child had any impact on the adult I am whatsoever.

When you get into the stuff that goes beyond spanking, though, the punching and the kicking and the throwing down stairs and smashing little kids into walls, I’m sure the correlation exists.  It’s just the way the reporting out of the study is spun in terms of its title that pisses me off, I guess.

And the fact that it’s pretty much an outrageous attempt to control parenting.

Before I go any further, I feel like I need to state that I have never spanked either of my children.  This has nothing to do with any sort of noble mindset or belief that it’ll screw them up or anything, but more because I have found that either logical consequences (you hit a kid with a baseball bat, so we’re canceling your birthday party) or revoking privileges are far more effective.  I mean, if she thinks her iPhone is at stake, my older daughter will do pretty much anything I ask.

The thing is, though, establishing the idea of logical consequences and revoking privileges is something that needs to be started at …

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A Mother’s Pain When Her Daughter is Involved in a Violent Crime …

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Photo of Brittany Tibbets
Let’s face it, parents have a tendency to want to believe the best in their children.

This idea hit me especially hard when the mother of a young woman involved in an unspeakable crime spoke out in her daughter’s defense as the media increasingly implied that her daughter was … well, maybe not that great a person.

In a nutshell, five police officers from a drug task force were serving a search warrant on a suspected drug dealer at his home when the guy, Cullen Mutrie, opened fire on them, injuring several and killing Greenland, NH’s Chief of Police, Michael Maloney.  Mutrie went on to kill a girl who was in the house with him at the time and then himself.

It was, to say the least, a clusterfuck … and one that really rocked the state of New Hampshire.

I was personally distraught on a number of levels, the first being that senseless death is always upsetting.  It also seems especially horrible when someone is killed because of the nature of his job—I guess that I, as a public school teacher, always think back to school shootings.  Finally, this took place less than ten minutes from my house.  I literally watched police cars, ambulances, and even the ubiquitous black FBI van go charging past.

It was scary as hell.

But after the shock and the fear and the deep sadness that Chief Maloney, who was days away from his retirement, had been killed settled in a little bit, I started to wonder about Brittany Tibbets, the 26-year-old girl that Mutrie shot before turning the gun on himself.  Who was she?  Why was she there?  What had her final minutes been like?

And then, almost on cue, her mother spoke out to the media, stating that her daughter and Mutrie had an on-again-off-again relationship.

From WMUR:

“Did we have, maybe, concerns? Yes, but she’s 26 years old. We hoped we raised someone who made good decisions, and she’s the type of person that sees the good in people. Right now, it wasn’t good,” Donna Tibbetts said.

Despite the family’s concerns about Mutrie, Donna Tibbets claimed they “never saw this coming”.

The Tibbetts believe their daughter was only at the scene to help.

“I just don’t want this to be what people remember her for,” Donna Tibbetts said.

I have to say, I felt so damn bad for Donna Tibbets when I saw that on the news. I mean, no one wants to hear awful things about her kid in the media, especially when the family is deep …

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