Surprises Abound!

Hey, guys!

In case you hadn’t noticed, two new names have been added to the Zelda Lily Team roster! I’d like for you to use your Zelda Lily-est theoretical embrace in welcoming Siobhan Braun and Sophia Yapalater. These two women are wicked talented, and will bring a lot to the table for your reading and debating appetites, so wet your palates!

Sophia, Siobhan, meet the readers; readers, meet Sophia and Siobhan!

You can find more about these two awesome women on their individual bio pages. Check them out!

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Lily’s Weeklies: Second Wave Feminism, Third Wave Feminism, and Families Who Hate Your Significant Other

Dear Zelda Lily Editors:

I am 50 years old. My family does not like my new boyfriend. They think he is goofy and refuse to have him around. They want me to come alone.

I do not have the heart to tell him that he is not invited to my family’s house because no one likes him. I am tired of making up excuses for why he is not included.

If my family really got to know him they would like him. He comes from a good family, he does not drink and believes in God. When I am with him I feel good about myself. We like doing the same things and he makes me laugh. I have never been closer to anyone in my life. We supported each other when his father and my mother died.

My sister wanted me to come help clean out my mother’s things and she told me to leave my boyfriend home because no one likes him She doesn’t care how I feel. He was eager to help. I told him it was canceled. What should I do?


Dear Torn,

I often say to myself, “I’m 33 years old, what difference does it make if my family doesn’t like (fill in the blank)” … and yet …

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The Bible and Feminism: Does Not Play Well Together

What’s the matter with a woman wearing one — or more? — balls in the family? At the risk of sounding immature?  Eff you, lady.

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The One in Which I Laugh Heartily at Women’s Magazines Rather Than Men’s Magazines

So, yeah, I know that we’ve spent copious amounts of time ripping men’s magazines and male-oriented websites about “knowing” the spiritual and emotional inner-workings of the all-encompassing female, but I came across an article in Cosmopolitan (the mother bitch of all bitchy rags disguised as a “womens’ lib” magazine) that I indubitably had to share. The article was titled “His Secret Sign Language,” (no, no, it’s not ig-pay atin-lay, you silly goose) and I was more embarrassed for the woman who had to write this article than I was for the men it was objectifying. Let me know what you think, and if I’m off-base here. [Ed. Note: I'm not.]

The “OK” sign

“When a guy is happy with how things are going, he’ll often make this sign of approval without realizing it. For example, he may rest his hand on the table this way if he feels a date is going well.”

In my experience, when a guy does this and you happen to allow it to catch his eye, he gets to punch you.  See in my younger years, this sign was known in a juvenile way as the “Asshole Sign.”  If someone made it and tried to conceal it out of your line of sight and you looked at it anyway, you got a punch.  But OK.

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