Articles Intended to “Improve One’s Sex Life” Continue to be Asinine

Photo of Awkward Sex Moments
I always find it entertaining (and more than a little bit disheartening) that people are so quick to read glaring headlines like “5 Things Wrecking Your Sex Life” because, let’s face it, most of it is either a) obvious, b) for the vast minority, or c) set up for shock value (a la the whole Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon).

So yeah, according to My Daily Moment, here are five areas of concern when it comes to snafus in your sex life.

1. Getting Grossed Out – Let’s face it – the human body doesn’t always produce the sexiest smells, areas of hair or secretions. If you flinch at the hint of a little B.O. down there, an untrimmed bikini line or the thought of bodily fluids touching you anywhere, you could be turning your partner off, or even worse, offending him or her.

There are a few ways you can overcome the “ick” factor – only have intercourse in or right after a shower, turn the lights off to avoid looking at things you don’t like and keep plenty of towels or tissues on hand for liquid mishaps.

So, basically, you should plan your sex life based on the shower?

And maybe I’m totally off-base here, but if you’re flinching at bodily fluids, you have bigger problems than your sex life.  And furthermore, isn’t implying that sex should be a lights-off activity sort of implying that there’s something wrong with your body?  I know a lot of women that hate having sex with the lights on because they have body image issues … way to reinforce this, Daily Moment!

2. Being Afraid to Experiment – Instead of laughing in his or her face the next time your partner suggests a sexy cowgirl getup or edible underwear, give it a try. You could find it silly, but it may increase the pleasure your partner experiences and rejecting him or her could kill the mood. Unless it’s something you morally object to or might cause you harm, go for it. Who knows — you might even discover that being “Nurse Betty” is your thing.

Before I met my current boyfriend, I met some very bizarre men on the dating circuit, which is kind of a tough playing field when you’re in your almost-mid-thirties.  One of them asked, on our first (and, needless to say, only) date, if he could pee on me during sex.  Now, getting peed on is not something I morally object to and it probably wouldn’t cause me harm … but I do find it disgusting.  According to this, maybe I should have given it a try??

I also believe that, by implying the word “experimentation” in a sexual context involves things like cowgirl outfits and edible …

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Male Killers More Overt, But No Crueler Than Females

Scales with Men and Women

The recent movie theater massacre in Aurora shocked the country.  On some level, it did to movie-going what 9/11 did to flying—essentially, took away the innocence of what had hitherto been a common, everyday occurrence.

And, predictably, in the face of world-rocking disasters set into place by humans, the situation has been parsed on many levels.  Who was this James Holmes?  Why did he go with “The Joker”?  What could happen to cause a doctoral student to run amok?  What does this mean to the gun-control pissing contest?  Did Holmes’ psychiatrist have an obligation to alert authorities as to his profoundly violent tendencies?

I found myself most intrigued by a piece from Erika Christakis, an administrator at Harvard University, positing that mass murder has a tendency to be … well, a male-dominated club.  While Christakis admits that it’s not like women never kill (and there’s the odd female serial killer that’s floated through history), it’s an inarguable fact that the most shocking acts of violence, including but not limited to mass murder, have been “overwhelmingly perpetrated by men”.

In fact, Christakis goes so far as to say throw out there that “our silence about the huge gender disparity of such violence may be costing lives.”

Hmm …

From Time:

Imagine for a moment if a deadly disease disproportionately affected men. Not a disease like prostate cancer that can only affect men, but a condition prevalent in the general population that was vastly more likely to strike men. Violence is such a condition: men are nine to 10 times more likely to commit homicide and more likely to be its victims. The numbers are sobering when we look at young men. In the U.S., for example, young white males (between ages 14 and 24) represent only 6% of the population, yet commit almost 17% of the murders. For young black males, the numbers are even more alarming (1.2% of the population accounting for 27% of all homicides). Together, these two groups of young men make up just 7% of the population and 45% of the homicides. And, overall, 90% of all violent offenders are male, as are nearly 80% of the victims.

A lot of my teacher friends and colleagues and I have a theory on fighting that goes on in schools—basically, if girls get into a fight, it’s forever.  Oh, they may smile and “make up”, but both sides (and their legions of friends) will never forget the situation.  It gets dragged up repeatedly, often into adulthood.  Boys get pissed at each other, beat the shit out of each other, and have basically forgotten the whole thing within a month and often become friends.

As this has always been my attitude, I found those statistics troubling, to say …

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Would You Break the Law to Change Your Kid’s Grades?

Comic about Parents and Grades
I fear for the youth of today.  Seriously fear for them.  Not because of global warming or cyberterrorism or a zombie apocalypse, but because of their parents.

I’ve been quite outspoken on my distress that helicopter parenting has elevated (heh heh) to a point that would have seemed ridiculous a generation ago, and I keep hoping I’ll be proven overly cynical, the girl who cried wolf, or completely wrong.  After all, I am personally invested in this serious problem as a citizen, an educator, and … well, someone who sees an awful of parents whose kids control them the way a puppeteer directs a marionette.

But I think I’m right about this one, much to my chagrin.

There are news stories that crop up all the time, giving credence to my theory that far too many underage inmates are running an increasing number of asylums.

Consider this, from Time Magazine:

A Pennsylvania woman faces six felony charges for doing just that. Catherine Venusto, 45, hacked into the Northwestern Lehigh School District computer system and altered the grades of her two children, ABC News reports. Venusto had worked at the district as an administrative office secretary from 2008 through April, 2011. A year before she quit, Venusto, of New Tripoli, Penn., had been accused of changing her daughter’s failing grade to a medical exception. And in February, 2012, she was accused of changing her son’s 98 to a 99.

I have worked in enough school districts to know that, if a medical exception is warranted, it is given.  In fact, it’s not exactly difficult…

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God Wants You to Choose the Edifi Tablet

Photo of Edifi Tablet
I have a pretty eclectic collection of apps on my iPhone, ranging from a pedometer to Domino’s Pizza (which probably explains the need for a pedometer) to Walgreens (who knew you could refill a prescription simply by taking a picture of the barcode?) to a graphing calculator to … well, you get the idea.

The idea that there’s a Bible application, however, would never have occurred to me had I not heard about Edifi, an Android-based tablet that will hopefully “spread God’s word through a tablet”, according to Brian Honorable of Family Christian, the company behind the Edifi.

Family Christian is evidently trying to address the “inevitable intersection of technology and religion.”

Hmm …

Just for kicks and giggles, I searched “Bible” in my iPhone’s App Store, and there were scores of free downloads (and, for .99, I could go for the “Daily Audio Bible” should I so desire).

So why would anyone, even the most devout of Christians, opt for the Edifi, which sells for around $150 and is designed to be similar to Amazon’s Kindle Fire, when there are so many varieties of tablets?

From Fox News:

The Christian tablet is more than just an e-reader. It also comes with movie-watching capabilities, Christian radio stations, and even a web browser with built-in “safe search,” so the tablet is safe for the whole family. “We put that on there just in case it was given as a gift to a child, so they wouldn’t have access to things they shouldn’t have access to,” said Honorable. “We definitely had to tailor it to our customers.”

Ah, so there’s the crux of it. Basically, religious radicals are accepting that technology can’t be ignored forever, particularly by teens and tweens, so here’s a great way to control the situation, to micromanage the message that people are hearing in the hopes that they …

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