Smelling Salts for Monogamy?

photo of smelling salts pictures
The Journal of Neuroscience conducted a study that shows if men get a whiff of oxytocin, they behave like decent human beings. And by that, I mean they don’t cheat. The study shows that men who said they were in “stable, monogamous” relationships stood 6 ½ inches farther away from an attractive woman after sniffing oxytocin than their single counterparts. When given a placebo, both single and taken men moved in close to the attractive woman. When handed a photograph of an attractive woman, “taken” men who had sniffed oxytocin held the picture at a farther distance than those that did not.

What exactly is oxytocin? Well, it’s a chemical that is found in the body in response to orgasm, early romance, breast-feeding, and childbirth. I guess that means, if you’re a man, sniffing it reminds you that you have an important woman in your life? The study’s original hypothesis was smelling oxytocin would make men move closer to a woman since they are the carrier/supplier of it.

Paul Zak, founding director of Claremont Graduate University’s Center for Neuroeconomics Studies, said “The new findings squared nicely with research, including his own, suggesting oxytocin doesn’t merely make people friendlier — it makes them more empathetic, more attuned to social cues, and more inclined to adjust their behavior accordingly.” He went on to say, “The finding that one’s relationship status affects how oxytocin affects the brain provides some evidence that our brains evolved to form long-term romantic relationships. Hugh Hefner is the exception, not the role model for men.”

Did you read that boys? You will never be Hugh Hefner, nor should you try, so get over the idea of seven girlfriends, because the reality of it sucks. Don’t you people watch E! True Hollywood Story? His life was a misery with those seven girls. Seven girls, that’s seven cycles … and women sync up … anyway.

What’s the point of this study? Will it allow doctors to create a nose spray that reminds men to keep in their pants? Not according to the study’s leaders; they don’t think any drug could be so powerful. But I will quote Chris Rock on the subject, “A man is only as faithful as his options. We can stop chasing it, and even that requires some rehab. But it’s hard for a man to stop. If it chase us, we can’t run that fast”. I get it, so maybe this “sniff of oxytocin” keeps you out of the chase? Maybe that’s why you stand farther away? So you get a head start?

Either way this study proves that men are simple creatures completely controlled by their emotions. That’s right, boys you’re more chemically imbalanced than we are!

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