I used to be a music critic. That means I went to a lot of concerts and talked to a lot of “guys in bands”, sometimes they were “up and coming” guys and sometimes they were “award winning” guys. One thing was always the same…the guy that you see on stage is not the guy you see backstage.
Girls fall in love with rock stars. In fact I think you kind of have to—it’s kind of a rule. Here is this guy standing in front of thousands of people and they’re all singing along to his words (which are usually written by someone else or more than just him), responding to his every command, screaming for him, and he’s up there singling lyrics like, “you’re my angel/come and save me tonight”. *Swoon*
The problem is, when he gets off that stage, he is not the sweet, sensitive guy in that song telling you “you’re the reason I live, you’re the reason I die, you’re the reason I give when I break down and cry”; he’s a sweaty, amped up, horn dog—and depending on where he’s at in his career he’s usually drunk, stoned, or soon to be drunk and stoned, and you will be waiting in line behind at least 4 other girls begging to get on their knees for him.
I’ve seen it. It’s not pretty. But there are the one-offs too. I’ve seen guys get off stage and walk right to a bottle of Perrier, hung their wives, then hop on the buss to kiss their sleeping kids. But I’ll be honest…I’ve only seen that second scenario twice and one of them have since divorced.
Musicians no longer make money on albums they make it on the road, and the road is tough. It’s tough on their marriage, their kids, their sobriety, their everyday sanity. These guys have no idea what town they’re in or what day it is. Their significant others are usually single …
… moms or just lonely. Unless you can be on the road with your man…it’s a tough job to be a rock star wife. The rule for most rock star wives and girlfriends is, “If you’re not taking care of your man—someone else will”. A man is as faithful as his options and these guys are dick-deep in groupies.
Is it any surprise that one of the biggest rock stars of all time, Steven Tyler, has recently “taken a break” from his fiancé? No. No it’s not. I watched them on Oprah (do not judge me, I watch her show for you guys…I’ve gotten at least three good articles from her) and I clearly remember them sitting side by side holding hands and Erin Brady, Steven’s fiancé, saying, “I saw how he behaved, badly, occasionally here and there. I said ‘listen if you’re gonna play I’m gonna play.’ And he didn’t like it when he was on the other end of that scenario”. Then Oprah asked, “Is it possible to remain monogamous and be a rock star?” without hesitation Steven said, “Yes”. Then Oprah said, “Is it possible for you to remain monogamous?” and with slight hesitation Steven said, “Yes. (pause) It is.” Then Erin piped in.
Look, it’s not. Steven Tyler is Steven Tyler is Steven Tyler. I have no doubt that he loves this woman he’s been with for seven years, but I have serious doubts about any man that wants to become a rock star. No one goes into the entertainment business because they’re 100% whole. There is a huge void in these people’s lives, there’s trauma, there’s injury and they fill it with love of millions. That’s fine, I’m not knocking that…I think it’s the best therapy you can get.
A man that stands before millions and hears their yells and at age sixty-four has twenty year olds wanting to bang him is not going to settle down. Steven Tyler has never slowed down, he has battled addictions his entire life. He has had groupie love since age seventeen.
I remember when I sat down with Pamela Des Barres, world famous groupie, when she talked about those stories her eyes lit up. I heard stories of Steven from before he was in Aerosmith and I’ve heard stories about him last week—guess what? Same story, different girl. The rock and roll life never settles, it never gives up. Pamela lights up when she tells those stories cause she’s still living it. Still shacked up with a rocker and telling tales of Zeppelin.
The statement from an Aerosmith publicist said, “Just as any couple goes through trials and tribulations in a relationship, Steven and Erin are asking for their privacy at this time. They are engaged to be married and each committed to their sobriety. Any claim to the contrary is absolutely false.”
Sobriety. Is it a coincidence that Aerosmith is back on tour and the statement mentions sobriety? Nope. The road is the road is the road. A man is a man is a man. A rock star is a rock star is a rock star.