A recent study says that if you are “conventionally beautiful”, if your main focus is appearing attractive and stylish to others, you are very probably internally unattractive. 236 people were used as controls in the study. Women were recorded walking into a room, walking around a table, reading the weather into the camera & leaving.
Judges, 118 people both male and female, would watch the tapes then rate each woman for attractiveness passing judgment on her body, voice, degree of refinement and stylishness of dress, & offered their perception of her traits and values. Then the “judges” were give surveys that the women had filled out in which they list their actual values & traits.
The “attractive” women were perceived as “agreeable, open to experience, extroverted, conscientious and emotionally stable,” these are attractive traits. What was found was that the “attractive” women on the tapes actually had, “values that express the motivation to conform and submit to social expectations, and with values that express a focus on self-promotion rather than on concern for others.” So the exact opposite of what you would want from a person.
People will argue that there are exceptions to the rule they would be right, I would be one of them. I used to model for my photographer friends and a poster size picture of me is currently hanging on some strangers wall. Yes, an image of me was bought from an art gallery after winning the “Viewer’s Choice” award. Which I guess would make me attractive. I’m also a MENSA candidate and spend a good portion of my time promoting charities and working on suicide prevention, depression, anxiety, and bullying awareness. I’m all for taking care of yourself, I exercise, I …
.. dye my hair, I buy cute boots and clothes. But I also spend a lot of my time reading, researching, and learning. I hope that when I go out that the people I engage in conversation with are entertained. In fact my greatest compliment is when someone tells me they were shocked that I’m so smart.
Now, if I were to walk into that room, walk around a table, read the weather, and leave I guarantee that the consensus on me would be, “pretty but awkward” I would never be described as “open to experience, extroverted”, but I am camera trained; I was actually the top student in my class for “on camera’. But I was so nervous before and after I was shot that I would physically shake. But it looked good on camera. The main reason I would be so nervous was that I didn’t like people looking at me. I didn’t like being judged by my looks. This study cuts through that. This finds the people that want to be looked at, not thought about.
Living in Los Angeles this study rings very true to me. The priority here seems to be looking great, getting noticed, and getting famous. Very little time is spent on internal reflection. However, when I sit one on one with people the majority of them will say to me that in this town you need to ‘find your tribe’. That they feel so many people are surface, flakey, out for themselves and they just want to find someone with substance. Then we part and I see them at a bar that night with the very people they were saying don’t matter. But they do matter, they matter because they get bottles of Dom sent to a table, they get you backstage, they know Cee-Lo. It doesn’t matter that these people are also alcoholics with a whole host of other issues. Outwardly, these people look great.
You can blame the media, you can blame society, and you can say that unattractive people had to develop attractive personalities to fit in. The bottom line is—unless there is more to someone than just beauty it’s going to get boring.