I normally don’t care about celebrity scandals because … well … why would I? I am never shocked when a marriage falls apart or when someone cheats with a co-star, but I must say this “Robsten” cheating scandal got to me, so now I am going to deconstruct it for the rest of you who also probably don’t give a crap about it, either.
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson had been dating for three years, and they never once talked about their relationship, or even really confirmed that they were together. They seemingly had figured out how to be young and coy and a celebrity, to boot. Then pictures surfaced of Kristen and her Snow White and the Huntsman director, Rupert Sanders, in car behaving badly. Um, very badly.
Rupert Sanders is a forty-one year-old married man and father of two. It comes as no surprise that he would want to hook up with a twenty-two year-old starlet. That’s a given. However, it is extremely strange to me that a twenty-two year-old, multi-millionaire starlet with (according to People magazine) a very attractive boyfriend would want to hook up with a forty-one year-old father of two. Who is not so very attractive.
Look, I’m not a saint—I’ve had my fair share of bad life decisions, and I’ve also been twenty-two. When you’re that young and getting a lot of attention you can get swept up in it, but I have never understood purposefully hurting that many people. Sanders’ wife played Kristen’s mother in the film and two months before these pictures surfaced Kristen had taken Sanders’ eldest daughter out for ice cream. This is where I start to have a problem.
Like I said, I understand being twenty-two and getting caught up in a moment. I can even understand getting into an affair when you don’t know who you’re hurting. I can let you use the “out of sight, out of mind” defense. “I never met his wife; she wasn’t a real …
… person to me …” That kind of harlequin response is extremely common and a way to absolve yourself, I get it. But this … this I don’t get. You know this family! You’re an integrated part of this family, you are looking into the faces you’re tearing apart and that is the part that really bothers me.
So, Stewart and Sanders get caught going at it in a car like a couple of teenagers (hello, you’re both millionaires—get a room) and so they issue apologies. This is the first I’ve heard of people publically acknowledging and apologizing for an affair…so kudos on that…I guess. Let’s look at Sander’s apology:
“I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused my family. My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world. I love them with all my heart. I am praying that we can get through this together.”
How can I put this in a way Sanders would understand? Oh, I know—BOLLOCKS! TOTAL AND COMPLETE BOLLOCKS! I call shenanigans on that entire statement. You are not “utterly distraught” about the pain caused to your family or else you wouldn’t have done it. You are “utterly distraught” you got caught. If your “beautiful wife and heavenly children” were all you have in the world maybe you should’ve kept it in your pants.
Next is Kristen’s:
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”
At least this one is a little more honest, because this is the proper way of saying, “I f-cked up, I’m sorry.” She said she was sorry for the hurt and embarrassment and that it jeopardized the most important thing in her life, Rob. Way to finally admit you’re dating someone in your public apology for cheating on them in the same breath. The ending is what struck me: “I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.” That sentence is either a really clever PR move or it’s honest. That sentence is a young girl that has just realized what she’s done. I hear tears in that sentence.
I spent way too long staring at the photos and thinking to myself, “this is cruelty.” Those photos are pictures of pure human selfishness and cruelty. I’m not going “Fox News” on this and calling Stewart a “tram-pire” (yes, they really said that), or placing blame solely on either party. This was the dumbest mistakes both of them could have made and now they should pay for it.
I remember reading something that Roger Ebert wrote about the movie “Shame.” He said, “Shame makes into a lie the universal assumption in movies that orgasms provide a pleasure to be pursued.” Maybe that’s what is wrong with people, we watch too many movies, and maybe we get caught up in too many moments. You don’t cheat on someone and have this wonderful, wild, passionate affair, that ends with you guys winding up together and the wronged ex moving on. With the kids in tow. It doesn’t end with you all going your separate ways or you returning to your relationship like nothing ever happened. This will forever shake the core of the people involved. This will cause trust and self-worth issues for everyone in this situation. Affairs cause destruction. These moments in cars and on top of hiking trails have forever changed the future of Sanders’ wife and children and Pattinson, too.
It’s sad, it’s common, it’s dirty, and it’s completely ridiculous. It’s frivolous and unnecessary what has come from this? What has anyone learned from this? What has anyone gained? If it was so important to be with each other you should’ve left your current situations instead of thinking only of yourselves and momentary pleasures.