I was going to write a piece about “what’s changed for women,” but in doing the research I was reminded that nothing has changed. Female M.B.A’s still make $4,600 less than their male counterparts, and the depressing statistics just go on and on. I don’t need to spout them here, because they’ve already been talked to death as it were.
You know, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to rally the troops to get feminism up and running (guys, these articles don’t write themselves). Now I’m starting to think that maybe I don’t need the rest of you. That’s right, I said it. I don’t need you guys to be feminist and I don’t need anybody to help propel feminism forward. I can do it all on my own.
I recently read in an article that “… no woman [I] know would unapologetically describe herself as a feminist.” Feminism is something dirty, denigrated—to be looked upon with scorn. If, in the modern culture, gender equality does come up, the response is simply: ‘I’m not a feminist, but—’ (Translation: Please don’t think I’m a man-hater/ugly/being difficult!) It’s true and I’m guilty of it too. No one can accuse me of caring what people think. I make terrible life decisions over and over and don’t care what people say about them and I am far too blunt when asked for my opinion, but when I tell people I write for Zelda Lily I always say, “They’re a feminist blog but not like man-hating feminism.” Why do I clarify that? Why do I feel the apparent need to specify this? Who cares if they are man-hating? It’s not like men haven’t given us a reason to have an issue with them. What do I care if someone thinks I hate men?
This could be my exhaustion, depression, or overall constant anxiety talking but I think I’m done making excuses for feminists. I will stand up and say unapologetically that I am a feminist, and if you think that makes me a man-hater, ugly, or difficult … well, that’s fine with me because if that’s what a feminist is to you—then I don’t want to know you anyway. I’m done waiting on the movement. I’m taking a page from Gandhi and I’m going to be the change I want to see in the world.
Et tu?
Well it’s true that typically people feel the need to clarify what “kind” of feminist they are. It’s why the slang term “Feminazi” came in for the man hating kind. We men have given you plenty of reason to hate us, but really, you mustn’t. If you hate men then no one is going to take you seriously, and even if they do, and you get what you want, then men are going to end up in the position women are now, and all we will get is an occasional change in power. If we want equality then both sides need to forgive and move on. Things are changing for women, even if it may not seem it.
You go girl! You should never have to apologise for being true to yourself.
And I, for one will happily stand with you and unapologetically say that I’m a Feminist. (I’ll apologise for being the armchair type, though!)
The problem many women have, I’m guessing isn’t just the “man-hating” reputation of feminism. It seems to be also to a large extent the any-girlism, if I can coin a term. As you know, girlishness or femininity or whatever it could be called tends to occur more in women than in men. All the things that feminists say about so-called “women’s magazines”, makeup, Barbi dolls, the color pink, and so on, not to mention having no purpose in life other than dedication to one’s family, those things alienate femms.