Aug 31, 2011 at 06:00 am by Katie Loud

Photo of "Vampire" Lyle Bensley

Between Twilight and True Blood, vampires seem to be all the rage these days.  The humanization of a heretofore stereotypically evil creature has been an interest societal twist.

Unless you want to consider that real vampires are running amok out there … and in Texas, of all places.

From WMUR:

Police arrested a man who they say broke into a woman’s apartment and bit her on the neck, claiming to be a vampire.

Investigators said Lyle Bensley used his foot to break the door down and get …

… inside the woman’s apartment, Houston TV station KPRC reported.

“He got inside and was hissing at her and growling at her and did attempt to bite her on the back of the neck,” Galveston police Capt. Jeff Heyes said.

Bensley then started dragging the woman down the hallway, but she managed to get away.

All right, I know this is horrible, but I laughed when I read this.  Like, laughed so hard I cried.

Obviously, I feel horrible for the victim here.  She was attacked and manhandled (vampirehandled?) and without a doubt scared to death.  You never really forget an act of violence perpetrated against you, and she has my deepest sympathies.

Doesn’t it kind of sound like a scene from a bad movie, though?

A guy breaking into an apartment, hissing randomly, going for the jugular, not casting reflections in mirrors, keeping the attack as far from the kitchen as possible because of the garlic factor …

But seriously, I can’t help but wonder whether Lyle Bensley’s evident psychotic episode was fueled to some degree by the resurgence of vampires in American culture.  I mean, Edward Cullen and Bill Compton have essentially made bloodsucking cool.

Lyle Bensley was arrested in his underwear shortly after authorities were summoned.  He was not surprisingly charged with burglary … and I’m willing to be he underwent some degree of psychiatric evaluation.

Or maybe he just thought he’d pick up a Bella or a Sookie along the way, I don’t know.

What I do know is that this is one creepy story.



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16 Responses to “Vampires in Texas?”

  1. Simon Jadis says:

    I grinned as I read it.

    When I first read the title, I thought that perhaps a group of religious/spiritual vampires had made the news — more or less, they believe that by exchanging life energy with others, it improves their well-being — some believe that this will extend into the next life, as well.

    I do not agree with their religious beliefs, BUT I am glad that members of that group were not responsible. The social backlash against all non-Abrahamic religions that follows such events can be absurdly unfair. Crazy people? Crazy people need little context. This guy might have attacked anyone, under ANY delusion. He just picked vampires.

  2. Copa says:

    I have an excuse for grinning, I JUST finished watching Dracula portrayed by Leslie Nielsen.

  3. Tara Mitchell says:

    Assault with a deadly cheeseball, surely that carries a weighty sentence.

  4. Alzaetia says:

    I read in a different article that he says he’s a 500 year old vampire.

     

    You’d think a 500 year old vampire would be able to elude police…

  5. jeneria says:

    Clearly he hasn’t been applying his XP to his charisma score.

  6. Grr... says:

    When I was 8 to 10 years old, I used to be Batman.

    It’s true.

    When I was 11-12 I grew up and had my own super hero identity: Jack Rabbit.

    I saved no lives… but I tried. I DID tell a few people to turn on their signals when they turned at the intersection, though.

  7. evilbeetdouche says:

    Sucks to be him.

  8. DUMBASSES says:

    Hshsshaha HSSSSSSSS HASSSSS lol fuck out of here

  9. ieatblood says:

    LOL wtf was he high?

  10. Zed Mezcalhead says:

    What an idiot. Meth will do that to you.

  11. Sarcasmo says:

    Burglary? What did he steal? He should have been charged with battery and attempted rape.

    • Feces1 says:

      He was trying to steal her soul, didn’t you read he is a vampire? Any real vampire would have came through the window though!

  12. Feces1 says:

    To bad she did not have crucifix nearby! Also, don’t forget, never invite a Vampire into your house, it renders you powerless!

  13. Rebecca says:

    OMG I nearly pissed myself laughing, I bet his excuse for getting caught was “I didnt have permission to come in the house” *sad face* Poor dillusional thing.. He just needs some mental help… strike that, I mean blood ;)

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