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A new doll that gives birth has got some parents wondering how appropriate these are for children. made in Canada comes a year after a breastfeeding doll from Spain, Bebe Gloton, was introduced on the market. In case you missed Zelda Lily’s coverage of the breastfeeding doll phase, they have been created and marketed by very different sources.
First of all, the …
… MamAmor dolls are handmade by a doula, who says specifically notes that they are “educational toys that demonstrate normal, natural birth, breastfeeding and bonding.” She also says that without adult supervision, they are only appropriate for children over the age of three (with adult supervision, they can be used younger). Though I’ve never really understood how those arbitrary age decisions are made, it seems clear that these dolls are specifically teaching tools. Adriana, the woman who makes them, says that she believes that “birth is a normal and natural event, that breastfeeding is a human event, and that bonding early with your child is the foundation of a lifelong loving and trusting relationship.”
This doll, despite my first instinct of horror, is not meant for normal play. It’s a teaching tool, to discuss sex and pregnancy and childbirth with children, and sounds more comforting than the diagrams that I remember seeing. But the breastfeeding doll wasn’t meant for teaching, or demonstrating a person breastfeeding. It includes a bra that literally allows a young girl to mimic breastfeeding on herself, and that was the weird part. Children, both boys and girls, often practice the activities that they will one day participate in during play – being husband and wife, getting married, having a family – to mimic the behavior they see around them. I’ve always thought of it as their version of dreaming; it’s a time meant for working out the things they see around them. But is pretending to breastfeed this way a part of life they need to work out?
Many studies show that dolls are an important part of this play, because they are a blank slate. You can project your own wishes and desires onto a toy, bending it to become what you want in the story you’ve created; this is how children learn. The more specific toys get, the harder I suspect that becomes, or the more specific a story becomes with that toy. Famous studies have even used white and black barbie dolls to see how children feel about race, with shocking results. I think this birthing doll, when used in the right context, could be a great tool, and not as upsetting as I initially considered it. But I still feel weird about the marketing and presentation of this breastfeeding one. Of course, having a doll give birth is one thing. Allowing a child to give birth would be a whole other ballpark.
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My daughter gives her dolls “booby milk” because that’s what she sees me feed her baby brother. It’s normal and natural and because I’m the one setting the example for her she doesn’t need a stupid doll. Were I unable to breastfeed maybe I would get her a doll. A birthing doll? No thanks. Adults can hardly deal with the details of childbirth, why expect a child to?
And why can adults hardly deal with the details of childbirth? It’s because it’s what has been taught to them… ‘It’s horrific, and hard and terrible and painful’. It’s not at all and perhaps if your mother or the women in your life had shown you childbirth is wonderful and amazing, you’d feel that way about it now…not ‘hard to deal with’. Children reflect parents attitudes on things, if it’s made out to be gross and something unacceptable…children will feel the same way about it.
There is a difference between ‘unpleasant but to be endured’ and ‘unacceptable’.
Every woman I have talked to has spoken of the former.
Are you really going to tell me that childbirth is not painful? Is not difficult? Sure, maybe it’s worthwhile for the end result, but it’s hardly a spectacularly fun event.
No woman in my life could show me that childbirth is wonderful and amazing. I suppose you can consider the incredible stretching of the human body to be ‘amazing’, but not really the sort of amazing you seek out.
Weeks and months of sickness and discomfort followed by hours of pain and more pain followed by extreme pain and stretching and often tearing of vital body parts.
Nope, not seeing the romance here.
But Kai, it’s the miracle of life!
I have had 2 children, vaginal births. It was…unbearably painful. I screamed my freakin head off. I would not have wanted a small child to witness me going through that. You are living in a fantasy world honey!!
Jess, some women have easy births, some don’t. I can’t judge because I’ve had 5 c-sections.
I think the ones who have easy births are freakin’ show offs.
I’m the only person I know of who got an epidural when dilated to 9! I think my screams and blood pressure had something to do with it. The only wonderful and amazing part of it was when it was over! :P I’m really petite so that may be why it was really bad for me but I think in general, we can all agree that childbirth is no walk in the park.
It does really bother me when women who had easy births and/or have such a freakishly high pain tolerance that they didn’t need an epidural spout off the idea that no woman really needs one; you would think that the only “real” birth are the ones where you give birth standing in a pool surrounded by incense and your entire extended family of love. That’s really nice if that works out for you, but it simply cannot happen for everyone.
Technically no-one *needs* one, since women did without such a thing for ages and ages, but suggesting that it’s not that painful is dumb, and makes no account for different women. It’s just annoying when the smugness comes out. My sister-in-law is about the easiest birther I’ve ever heard of – but she’s aware, and notes how lucky she is for it.
I just get annoyed by those ‘miracle’ types. It’s messy, it’s painful, it’s horrifying, and for some, worthwhile. Great – do we have to make it into something magical?
My mother will tell you that having kids was the best experience she’s had – but she’s not dumb enough to try to convince me that the actual birthing process was the incredible part.
I’m thinking you have issues, Katie. Or wrote this while under the influence. I’m basing this from your odd sentence structure and ill (not?) thought out premise.
I will infer from “It was literally allowing a young girl to mimic breastfeeding on herself, and that was the weird part.” that you are okay with seeing a little girl give a doll a bottle. Sorry, but THAT strikes me as weird – not that someone would bottle feed a baby, but that it freaks you out.
Haha, I was going to question the grammatical plausibility of the first few sentences. God save the editors?
What is wrong with children mimicking a healthy practice like breastfeeding? It is completely natural for both young girls and boys to pretend to nurse dolls if they see Mom or other mommies nursing their babies. It is just as natural for young boys to dress like a princess. They are pretending, and pretend play at that age has nothing to do with their lifestyle as adults.
I really don’t see the big deal with the breastfeeding doll or the birthing doll . whether they are ‘educational’ or not.
They are both natural and common occurrences, why not let children see that and be able to to express that knowledge?
I don’t know. I guess I just never saw the point in hiding anything from children – even very young ones.
I had tons of stuffed animals who could “give birth” when I was little. There was a whole line of dogs and cats and bears who would pop out tiny babies (although in an anatomically incorrect way, the dogs had velcro open/close pouches in their stomachs). I don’t see how a doll is any different. Childbirth and taking care of babies are both very mysterious to young kids and I’m sure they have fun with this kind of doll. I know I loved playing with my dog and having her go through her “pregnancy”.
And what’s so weird about pretending to breastfeed your baby dolls? I did that too when I was little. The way kids play with dolls is as if they’re your real baby. I mean we’ve had changing diaper dolls for decades, so how is this more squicky?
I wont even waste my breath of the ridiculousness of this woman’s post on this blog. You totally have issues and I have no words for your ignorance
well said Erinn!
Oh, for goodness sake! There is SO much fear around women’s bodies and the natural functions thereof, so much disgust and revulsion, it’s just ridiculous.
Breastfeeding and birth are both normal events that countless children around the globe witness and have their own experiences with every day. Children mimic the actions and situations that they see the significant adults in their life engaged in, and therefore, children who see and have seen birth and breastfeeding are likely to mimic and engage in imaginative play about both of these things.
I agree we shouldn’t be making children’s toys so specific that there is no room for imagination, but often find that it’s adults who can’t imagine beyond the toy’s so-called limitations, not children. Where many adults can only see a toy truck being a toy truck, my children will quite often tell me that they’re rafting on the ocean, or shooting through space using a toy truck as the prop for that particular storyline.
As for whether a birthing toy is suitable for anything other than education – well, for goodness sake, anyone remember pregnant Barbie? Her stomach popped off for the baby to come out http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQroBr-_-dLpG5ryzaGSNO26Bzvn46ku9YjVeaVWYzMAqNxJtCJ
At least this doula’s dolls are anatomically correct.
What a whole lot of hysteria over nothing.
I think it’s weird people have problems with a doll that gives birth and breastfeeds (it’s not even anatomically correct hello!) People are fine with dolls that simulate other bodily functions such as pooping, peeing and burping…these are all fine….because they’re natural and a TEACHING TOOL! Honestly people, maybe if we weren’t so uptight in this dumb country about childbirth and where babies come from, and we would just be open and honest with our children about these things, we wouldn’t have the teen pregnancy problems we have now.
Why is it perfectly acceptable to have our daughters play with dolls that poop and pee, but not dolls that give birth or breastfeed? Birth and breastfeeding are beautiful things, that we as a society have made disgusting, horrible and dangerous. If I had the money, I would give this doll to my 3 year old and would let her play with it without question. How ignorant we have become.
I agree with the comments made already, and have this to add: If we want to “normalize” breast feeding (instead of bottle) and natural childbirth (instead of c-section) then these dolls are wonderful things that can help. Especially since as we get farther away from rural or farm life, children are less likely to see even cats or dogs having babies let alone know how they get that brother or sister or cousin. Especially when mom and/or dad have squicky (love that term!) feelings about childbirth or even sex to begin with! For interesting reading on the generational and knowledge gap that is already appearing check out any forum for women who are pregnant and see what some of the younger twenty-somethings have to say about being pregnant. It might blow concern over a doll completely out of the water.
This is insane. I don’t understand peoples reactions to these products. How can a natural physiological process be considered inappropriate? What is so wrong with a girl, who will some day grow up to have a baby come out of her vagina and a… baby suckling at her breast, play with dolls that mimic this? What if they weren’t for education but just for play? Would they be considered MORE inappropriate??? PLEASE, quit sexualizing EVERYTHING! BIRTH AND BREASTFEEDING ARE NORMAL AND BEAUTIFUL! Your children will not be corrupted if they know where babies come from or how to nurse them by the age of 3!
My daughter breastfeeds her dolls and stuffed animals. She is breastfed so it would be weird for her to grab a bottle instead of bring her baby/animal to her chest. I saw absolutely nothing wrong with the breastfeeding doll. I actually thought it was pretty cute and a fun way for a kid to really feel like something was happening.
I’d also happily let my kid play with this birthing doll, and not just to show her how a baby comes out… but also to let her have a doll that can do something different from her other dolls. All my dolls and barbies got pregnant growing up (and even had sex to get that way!) and I would pretend to be pregnant (and give birth!) growing up as well during play. It isn’t unusual because that is just what humans do. Makes sense that kids would play it out to understand it on a deeper level and prepare for it as an adult.
My daughter was born naturally (not just vaginally, nothing was attached to me or inserted at all) at an amazing free standing birth center and I plan on allowing her to attend her younger sibling’s birth if she would like as I plan on it being at home. She will also get to see her younger sibling breastfed as well, and since we practice child led weaning, she will definitely have the memories once she reaches childbearing age. I am happy for this. I am happy to foster an acceptance of birth and breastfeeding rather than a fear and disgust.
I don’t get how this blog is feminist. Really.
This post or the entire blog? Because if you really mean the entire blog I would think you’re being irrevocably dense.
Is it because we don’t suggest never shaving (lest you be accused of not being a feminist) or shout about the patriarchy?
You just let me know if you see any patriarchies hanging around, Lourdes – I’ll kick their asses!
I have always thought the peeing dolls were the weirdest things, who wants a toy you have to mop up after? I don’t really have an opinion on this doll or the breastfeeding doll, unless a gooey messy placenta comes out of the doll afterward I don’t care.
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My sister made (sewed) an awesome doll for an anatomy class that had slits that you could reach in and pull out all it’s realistic organs. It was without a doubt the coolest doll I’ve ever seen.
What’s the big freak about the breastfeeding?
Is it considered weird or creepy for a child to pretend to bottle-feed a doll? And if not, then why is it an issue for a child to pretend to breast-feed a doll? People have come so far from the natural order of things that a bottle is okay, but the natural way is gross?
How silly.
But very prevalent in American society. It really shouldn’t be that way, and is very silly, I agree. If you want to start a rabid foaming at the mouth “discussion” with anyone on any forum, start a topic about breastfeeding (especially in public) or circumcision. Watch the flames rise and the trolls come out of the woodwork!!
I wish I had a doll like this when I was trying to explain to my oldest child how her sister was going to get out of my tummy and into the world. This would’ve been a much gentler and more relatable way of talking about birth than showing her pictures in a book. Also, both of my daughters have pretended to be pregnant by putting a stuffed animal or doll or pillow up their shirts, just as I did many times as a child. I only see benefits to being able to fully understand how that baby comes into the world and that it is a natural and (yes, I’m going to say it) AMAZING experience. My children will grow up hearing how wonderful and powerful an experience childbirth can be when you are educated and trust your body.
I would love to have a birthing doll for my 8-yr-old. I don’t think my 2-year-old is ready yet, though. She’s too busy nursing her stuffed triceratops.
Your post made me giggle! How darn cute!
Ok….I’ll admit that I am 58 years old. I thought that my and earlier generations were “uptight” regarding birth and breastfeeding. But, really! Somehow this generation has become so ridiculous about the possibility of how birthing and feeding our babies was meant to be accomplished. Makes me worry about our next generation….maybe all that talk about “test-tube babies” wasn’t so far off.
Yeah for two factors. 1st – Someone is older than me for a change. 2nd point – Patty, I think you are so right!
I second that! (third?)
Agreed!! (from the 30-something who is me!)
What I’m realizing from reading all these comments was that I didn’t really specify where my discomfort with the breastfeeding dolls comes from, perhaps because we’d already covered the topic last year, and perhaps because I hadn’t quite nailed it down. I suppose what really troubled me was the gender specificity of it (which was discussed in Dharma’s post last year) and the bra aspect. I’ve always loved seeing children use their imagination, their bodies and their relationships during play because they come up with awesome ideas. This toy seems to be pushing that play in one direction or stifling it, not facilitating it. But I think as clear from our other posts, here at ZL, we’re pretty into breastfeeding, and letting women do what is natural and what they want to do. The bra just didn’t seem particularly natural. As usual, thanks for the comments; they always make me think.
My 3 year old son nursed his dolls and he knows that he grew in my “tummy” and came out of my “junk” (although he laughed his ass off in disbelief when we first explained THAT to him) so he’d probably like this doll. He’s very into anatomy right now.
I guessing that’s going to lead to a teacher-parent conference in the first week of kindergarbage.
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