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Ah, Halloween. The holiday where no one bats an eye when a man dresses up like a lady, and when ladies dress up like … well, prostitutes. I didn’t celebrate Halloween this year as I did in my slightly younger days (yes, believe it or not, I too skanked it out during some previous years as a hula girl, harem dancer, and x-rated cheerleader; go figure). No, this year I spent the time taking my three-year-old to various Halloween parties, in which the most risque thing I wore happened to be a cami underneath a grey, cable-knit grandpa sweater. Yup. Living dangerously these days. And if you count the low heels I wore to one of the events, boy, have I got those bases covered.
From head to toe. Completely.
Anyway, throughout my weekend of making baked treats for the neighborhood kids, ushering my Dora the Warrior Explorer (yes, we even put a ‘We Can Do It!’ spin on our Halloween costumes in this house) from powdered donut-covered party to powdered donut-covered party, I contemplated many of the women that I had spoken to in the …
… prior weeks about assimilating the perfect costume – all which entailed a variety of fishnet stockings, stiletto heels, and tight-fitting bustiers in various fabrics ranging from leather, to Kevlar, and even nylon. Knowing that I was pushing buttons, I’d asked my girlfriends, “So what are you going to be, then with all this hot, thought-provoking garb?” And if in person, I got a blank stare in response to my question. And if on the telephone, a swath of uncomfortable silence. The final verdict? A general “Well, I don’t know … It doesn’t matter, really; it’s going to be cute with all that stuff, won’t it?” Of course, I’d nod knowingly and smile, because yes, Halloween is the Christmas of dressing up like you’re going hooking and getting away with it. And, um, not only getting away with it, but being appreciated for it regardless. I’d squeeze their shoulder, and I’d shrug mine while pulling my grandpa sweater tighter over my front and wave to them as they’d saunter off to their cars, surely on their way to the tanning salons, because you can’t – gasp – be pale if you’re going to rock fishnets in October, amirite?
I couldn’t even get away from the trend at home. I’d log onto Facebook and friends of friends of friends would be providing a continuous live stream of their Halloween photos and the parties they attended, whether at the local corner pub (always the best, in my humble opinion) or the Playboy Mansion (from what I’ve heard from my one girlfriends who lives in LA and makes the pilgrimage every year, it’s a pretty damned good party – easily one for the books annually), and I just know that these women, some more clothed than others, but all doing their best to be a lady on the street and a freak in the street, too, were – for the most part – doing it all in good fun.
So while many, many other female-oriented websites have shunned the art of men dressing as ladies (seriously, guys, I had a male friend that dressed up as the mom from The Goonies, and it was epic) and women dressing as high-end hookers for the Halloween holiday, I’m going to sit back, fold my hands behind my head and say with a knowing gleam in my eye, “Been there, done that.” Because I have, and to some, it’s a rite of passage, if you will. Some women partake, some stand gape-mouthed at the parade of sexuality that surrounds them, and wherever you stand on either side of the fence is – you know what – OK. It’s OK. And while many feminists are up in arms because they say that when Halloween rolls around, it allows women to be exploited and objectified and not taken seriously because they’re too busy flipping their tits around and shaking their scantily-clad asses, I disagree on the whole. You might not like the myriad of women parading around town and clubs and house parties dressed like Rahab the Harlot, and you might, but either way – you have have to admit: we’ve come a long way, baby. Imagine celebrating Halloween (the horrible, nasty, Pagan holiday that it is) even half a century ago – many women would be stoned where they stood for having the audacity to wear hems above their knees when their husbands didn’t even allow them to work for crying out loud.
So all of you feminazis out there, please … take a pill, a deep breath, and realize that you’ve probably been there, too. And if you haven’t, you’ve probably had close friends who did, and were around to witness it. You know that it was all in good fun, even if sometimes it … well, wasn’t. Whether you’re nineteen and hookin’ it up for the bar, or pushing thirty with an invite to the Playboy mansion, or even approaching your fifties or sixties at an upscale house event – enjoy yourself and stop worrying about what the others are going to say about you. Crap like that doesn’t really matter in the long run, anyway.
As for me? I think my days of belly-baring cheerleader uniforms are numbered … at least out in public eye, anyway. I’ve got a daughter to set an example for, and that’s a horse of an entirely different color, as it always is … isn’t it?
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[...] Anyway, whatever. Did y’all have a good Halloween? Do anything fun? Dress up in any crazy costumes? [...]
I’ve never done the skanky Halloween costume. I never wanted to, either, even back when my body was smokin’!! This year I was a zombie, with prosthetic bloody gashes on my face and all (oh, and only one arm). My husband and I really enjoy scaring the costumes off of the kids who come to our door (although we reward them with plenty of candy)!
I’ve only worn one truly skanky Halloween costume, and it was fun because Halloween is the only time of year when women can dress scandalously and it’s all in good fun. It weirds me out when people seem to dress specifically as prostitutes, but I definitely don’t mind the sexy nurses and whatnot.
Also, I love guys that dress up as women on Halloween. I think it’s great. I went to the Rocky Horror picture show the other night and there were about 8 guys dressed up as Frank. It was fabulous; they were all wearing fishnets and corsets :D
I bought a cheerleader outfit from the internet – a dress, 50s style jacket, pom poms, and some bright white trainers. I’m at an American college this year so I thought it would nice and thematic (and cute of course), if not a little bit too slutty.
I shouldn’t have worried – I was the most covered up girl at every party. The majority of girls were literally just in underwear. To paraphrase The Gloss; if people can’t tell what you are, it is NOT a costume, it is just underwear.
I did have one night where I went a lot more undressed – my costume was Sally Bowles from Cabaret, complete with bowler hat and painted on fake lashes. And thigh-high stockings of course. I looked great – but I also felt a bit uncomfortable.
Interestingly, I got hit on by guys a lot more when I had my cheerleader outfit on, with the jacket zipped up, fresh/clean makeup look, and wearing comfy trainers. I think they were so dazed by the meat market that it startled them.
This year I had two costumes for two separate parties. First I was Batman, and no, not Sexy Batman. Just good old classic Adam West Batman complete with underpants on the outside. Then I was a cat, with a black sweater dress, opaque black tights and a fuzzy eared headband and whiskers on my face. I avoid the skimpy sexified costumes for two reasons. One, it’s overdone. Everyone wears them and I find it boring. Two, I live in Maryland. It’s too damn cold.
@ Xan – Yeah, I live in Delaware, and it’s unseasonably cold today.
some friends and I went as the Golden Girls.
Best. Costumes. Ever.
check my blog (linked in my name above) for pics!
Sarah, great post! I think you make a valid point that if this were years ago, women would be stoned for even showing the slightest bit of skin. And I loved that you said it’s okay to be slutty, OR to not be slutty. Not one or the other.
In my opinion, feminism is about equality, and if men can be sexual, why can’t women? Sure, men don’t tend to wear sexual costumes on Halloween, but I mean in general. Men don’t get nearly as much flack for talking about sex, liking sex, hitting on women, sleeping around, or whatever as women do. I think it’s totally fine for women to be sexual beings, too. That’s equality. So I think it’s fine to be sexy, or if that’s not someone’s cup of tea, to Not be sexy. This year I was cute-sexy, not really slutty-sexy, and it was so much fun.
Thanks, C!
A friend and I were actually talking about just how difficult it is to find a costume that doesn’t have the word “sexy”, “slutty”, or “skanky” in the title. It took me 45 minutes in a GIANT costume store in London to find one, and even then it was MORE expensive than the whore costumes! I guess, more clothes, higher cost? How depressing is that? We’re being punished for not having the desperate desire to bend over and show our tits/butt to the world?! There’s actually a really funny video about it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4rUiV_Hh74
Now tell me THAT isn’t the truth for anyone who’s ever looked for a normal costume. (I ended up going as Sally from the Nightmare Before Christmas. WHAT A WIN!)
I have always made my own costumes and never took the slutty route. Even when I had a nice body (back in the day) it never appealed to me. Guys costumes are much more fun, I’ve had costumes ranging from (non sexy) Boy Scout (I actually dressed to look like a male) to a Heaven’s Gate Cult member with the purple sheet and Nikes to Day of the Dead skeleton. I’m much more into artful and disturbing than making men lust after my body. You can do tight clothes that all year round, so it’s not as fun.
You are welcome to be sexual any day of the year. And you are welcome to dress up as sexy as you want on Hallowe’en. But you should be aware that it’s not any different just because it is the official holiday of sluttiness. You are not forced to wear a tiny or suggestive or revealing costume, you choose to. And your choice of costume says something about you.
Don’t think others aren’t aware of it. If you’re dressed skanky, it’s because you want to be dressed skanky, and you want people to look. That’s okay, but own up to it – don’t try to claim that it’s not you or something
I tend to find it difficult to find costumes for a girl that aren’t overtly sexy or cutesy. I don’t bother dressing up very often, but this year I’m working somewhere that’s pretty into Halloween. I went as Xena. Awesome female, but with boobs and butt covered. And my skirt was probably longer than hers.
[...] on Happy Belated Halloween! Let’s Talk About Your Costume Now That the Dust Has Settled, Shall We? “I think they were so dazed by the meat market that it startled [...]
[...] a response to some mothers who has criticised her decision to allow her son to wear a girls’ costume for Halloween this [...]
Actually, a 1950s high school student, an idea taken from “Grease” for use in a young adult singles retreat, was the best I could do for a costume this year. Ironically, a lot of people actually said that they liked it.
Actually, I think its the inner cave woman coming out. It’s the one night of the year that the boobalies can come out a little more than usual and you won’t get arrested. Men tend to dress up aggressively or childishly. They get to express their deep, hidden desires, while women are constantly judged (mostly by other women) for how they dress up. I think sexy costumes express a few things, a woman’s desire to dominate, or to be desired, or to play the role of the feeble woman–pre-feminism. They like to play the role of sex object in public for once and is that so bad?
I’m with most of you that sexy-cop, sexy-sanitation worker, sexy-fireman, etc. gets a little old, but I think the general idea of being sexy for a night should be read into a little deeper. Halloween is about playing a role and if you’re not into playing a role or into allowing other people to play their role then stay home.