Sometimes men’s magazines try to get into the minds of women. Most of the time, they are completely and utterly off base , while also making women sound like some subordinate species that must be made to feel like special little snowflakes if you ever want to have sex with them.
But, alas, I don’t get to complain today. Because men’s mag Esquire may be on the right track towards not-outright-wrong sex advice!
Their most recent article is called 10 Ways to Have Better Sex, According to Science. Let’s go through some of the list, shall we?
Tell her she looks (and tastes) great.
For this one, Esquire tells you that when you go down on your partner, you must be enthusiastic and not treat it like a chore. Holy crap. I can’t believe I’m reading …
… this in Esquire! I think this is great advice. There is still a stigma against goin’ down south of our female borders, so props for this one.
Use Your Ears
Ask what your partner wants in bed. And Listen. Wow! I hope my future lovers are reading this and taking it super seriously. Though it seems simple, telling people that they need to listen to their partners and discuss things with them is huge — a healthy relationship cannot function without communication. Awesome. They even advise to talk about bedroom stuff outside of the bedroom — in a place where you won’t get distracted in the heat of the moment.
Touch Her Everywhere (with oil)
Hey, I love massages. I’d even go as far to say I’m a bit of a massage junkie. Not everyone feels as I do, but I’m totally down with this snippet of advice. I also do think that physical contact all over the body is important — giving a massage or back rub is a great way to get to know what your partner likes, and it can create a relaxing environment.
Sit Back and Relax
Apparently this means that you should figure out what position is most stimulating for your female partner. Which is, in combination with the communication advice, well, pretty golden, in my opinion. (They mention the reverse cowgirl position. Try it. I dare you. Trust me.)
Don’t worry so much, intercourse isn’t everything
This is the one that did it for me. In a world where we are so focused on goal-oriented sex, I really, truly appreciate that a widely spread publication is taking a second to remind the masses that sexual activity isn’t all about actual intercourse. There shouldn’t be any pressure to perform in a healthy relationship.
So, props Esquire, for a pretty solid list. Of course, there are some things I could have done without (bring the kitchen into the bedroom? Eh. But that’s just my personal preferences), but overall, I say keep it up.