While I usually cover some heavier fare, I just couldn’t resist this particularly asinine article from AskMen: “Ways to Tease Her and Make Her Crazy For You.” So, without further ado, let’s get down to business.
10. Bust her on her jokes
The premise behind this one is that if a woman tells a joke (which apparently they shouldn’t do), you should pretend like it isn’t funny: “The longer you keep a straight face on this one, the more you’ll hit her funny bone.” Yeah, making a woman feel like she’s stupid and humorless is going to win you major brownie points.
9. When she asks stupid questions, give stupid answers
This one should go without saying. Sarcasm in this situation is one thing; douchebaggery is not.
8. Slap her hand
You’re apparently supposed to do this if you’re out and you thinks she’s being kind of naughty, as it’s a great way to make physical contact. Hmm, instead of hitting her in public, why not try and gently touch her hand or her arm. If she’s really being “naughty,” she’ll make it obvious and in that case, she might want a slap somewhere else.
7. Say whatever is mean, playfully
If you can’t say anything nice…
6. “Let me guess: you weigh… 345″
Telling a woman she’s fat is the easiest way to guarantee you’ll never get to see her body, no matter how thin she actually is.
5. Disqualify her by her age
Unless you’re going into this date totally blind (or you just met her at the bar), you should have some idea of how old she is. If it’s really that much of a dealbreaker once you find out, you probably shouldn’t have even asked in the first place.
4. Be sarcastic
Yes, this would be good, but of course, only if you aren’t a douchebag about it. That’s too much to ask for AskMen, who’s idea of a sarcastic response is, “Really? Wow. That must be the most fascinating thing I’ve heard all week.”
3. “I don’t think this is going to work out”
This is more likely to have a woman in tears (if she actually cares about your crass ass), or it’s the best way to get a slap in the face — especially when they find out you’re joking.
2. “You just lost a point”
Ditto on that slapping part.
1. Delivery is key
“Go get some classic comedies on DVD and pay attention to how the actors deliver the lines that make you laugh. Watch them over and over again, and then practice your delivery skills with the women in your life. If women are cracking up and wanting to playfully punch you, you’re doing it right. If they’re not laughing at all, you have some improvements to make or you need to choose women who are more fun and more secure in themselves to spend your time with.”
No, these women aren’t insecure, you probably just sound like a tool pretending to be Ron Burgundy, and yeah, women must fall all over that. Not.
To sum it all up, yes, these will make a woman crazy, but not in the way you want. Get real, guys.
Are you sure the whole article wasn’t a joke? Because if they are honestly recommending that men do these things, I have news for them…I’m all for joking around and having fun and being sarcastic (my husband and I do it all the time), but this is not in any way going to make me “crazy” for a guy.
Have men’s magazines just entirely given up? It’s like they acknowledge they’ll never understand women so they’re just making shit up at this point.
Ha good one!
Ha ha ha ha ha…
I don’t see how any of these things get women thinking about sex… I do not think I have never ever seen another guy that did any of these things either.
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I not sure Tom Loder read this article because some of is points don’t articulate the idea behind the numbers, but is till correct that this advice is very very bad.
Take # 5 for example.
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No.5 – Disqualify her by age
Askmen said…
“Let’s say you ask a woman how old she is and she says she’s 23. Act disappointed. When she asks you what’s wrong, tell her you don’t date anyone over 17. Or if she’s 35, tell her you don’t date anyone under 47. The idea here is if she’s young, she’s not young enough and if she’s older, she’s not old enough. What makes this interesting and different is that it’s the opposite of what women expect you to say.”
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This is like a bad Jim Carrey joke not dating advice.
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Tom said…
“Unless you’re going into this date totally blind (or you just met her at the bar), you should have some idea of how old she is.”
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Getting a suddenly sad look and telling a woman you only date girls under 17… lets see…
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A. What stupid man thinks it does.
“it will make her think that I think she was 17 hahaha get it?”.
My guess is that only 0.000001% of women that think this is funny and the other ones will think.
1. This guy is a super creeper if he thinks/thought I’m/was 17 or likes dating 17yos. Time to flee.
2. Hes an idiot and not funny, moving on.
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jeneria says: “Have men’s magazines just entirely given up? It’s like they acknowledge they’ll never understand women so they’re just making shit up at this point.”
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I wish they would give up. Any “do this” type advice will always be bad.
Doing anything that is not unique to you is basically an attempt to improve your chances of progressing in a relationship. Problem is that even if it does work when the normal you emerges..well we all know what happens.
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My kinda of dating advice is this.
1.The best pick up line in America is “Hi” or ” Hello.”
2.Know what type of relationship you want and try to find out the same from the person your talking too(without being to direct).
3.Fish for a starting topic you might have in common. IE: Video games, TV, Movies and Leave religion/politics till date 2-3.
After that your, IMO, on your own.
Not related to the post, but I wanted to thank you on finding a way to form paragraphs on ZL’s new format. I find a long post difficult to read without the spacing. :) And I do agree with you on your dating advice.
Pretty sure this is a parody of “How to Seduce Women” articles which crop up in men’s magazines. A recent example of the serious type of article, which was thoroughly ridiculed about a week ago, is here: http://zeldalily.com/index.php/2010/08/mens-health-wants-to-teach-guys-the-fine-art-of-the-bedroom-burrito/ .
You know what she’ll really think is cute,ask her if she’s gaining weight,then wink at her and tell her the ex-girlfriend has been calling you at work. That always gets a chuckle!
Some of the suggested lines really creep me out. If a guy tried any of this crap on me, I’d be running for the door ASAP lest he be bashing my face in 3 months down the road and telling me I’m overreacting for being upset about it.
How did this get published…
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Seriously, how…
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I mean you would think that they have some sort of person that reads over these articles and says at the very least “crap or not crap.” How did this gigantic steaming pile manage to push way up this guys throat, out of his mouth and land on a keyboard.
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Cause right now that is my only explanation for its creation.
Sorry Ladies,
Many of these work. I consider myself a “nice” guy and don’t do these things however all during my 20′s when I went out to the bar with some of my friends these friends would do many of these things on this list.
The problem with many women is they respond to the “douches” and “jerks” like kids to candy. Women that are insecure and seek validation eat this stuff up.
Granted, it wouldn’t work on many of the ladies that frquent this site.
8, 6 and 5 I have not seen but 10, 7, and 4 are ones that I have definitely seen work.
It is sad but unfortunately true that the “negative hit” works like a charm.
While I agree that most men’s magazines (and women’s magazines) are utter trash, some of Tom’s responses are as questionable as the content. #3 and #2 are supposedly good rationale for a man being slapped across the face..
Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but this is a feminist blog purportedly forwarding the ideal of gender equality, right? If so, what makes teasingly slapping a woman’s hand a vile act, yet slapping a man’s face in anger a perfectly justifiable act? Are we going for equality here or are we still dancing with the corpse of chivalry and men being asked to “protect the delicate snowflakes” in double standards?
plenty of these are valid. they are all just jokes to make small talk with women, not magical lines that make sex happen.
silly feminists. you become so jaded with everything a man does that you fail to acknowledge when it may actually work. How about going out and TESTING it if you think it is bullshit, rather than just shooting it down without a second thought. I mean, you assume they are asinine, but refusing the scientific method to prove your side is just as well.
I don’t have to sit in a bar and listen to a man insult me to know that I don’t like being insulted.
And the fact that I think my vagina does not make me less worthy than a man has nothing to do with it.
I just don’t like being insulted.
It may not work on you, but these definitely work.
Don’t blame men, blame the millions of insecure women for allowing it to happen successfully.
Don’t even get me started on the idiots out there who think being insulted is a sign of TWU WUV!!1!
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-ways-to-tease-her-and-make-her-crazy-for-you.html
Have any of you actually read these?
They all say to be nice about it, be playful and make sure she knows you are just teasing.
None of these are that bad.
And NO ONE is advocating violence or hitting anyone. Jeez. Read it.
http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating/top-10-ways-to-tease-her-and-make-her-crazy-for-you_8.html
Yes. We did read it.
I had my boyfriend read it. He thought the examples were creepily pseudo-abusive as well. Mind you, this is coming from a guy who doesn’t hesitate to laugh at me when I’m say or do something stupid, and I don’t mind. It may be that I’ve known him for 6 years instead of 30 minutes on a date.
when *I say or do something stupid.
See, I did it there.
Teasing is up there in terms of finding women though
Everyone knows degradation is the fastest way to a woman’s heart!