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With Constance McMillen back in the news again for her recent appearance as a grand marshal in New York City’s Gay Pride March, it’s a perfect opportunity to look at how far the South has come. And yes, I’m serious. There’s this stereotypical notion that everyone living south of the Mason-Dixon line is a bigoted, racist, toothless, cousin-marrying, Republican-loving maniac. However, in the wake of the McMillen tragedy, the South is actually becoming … progressive. Well, kind of.
Mississippi native McMillen, who made national news last year for wanting to go to the prom with the date of her choice, planned on attending her high school prom in a tuxedo with a female date. School officials put the kibosh on this and, following McMillen’s acquisition of ACLU representation, canceled the prom.
Most accounts of the McMillen case describe her as having “divided America,” in the words of the Daily Mail, or as a soldier in the “seemingly unwinnable fight in America’s deep south between gay rights and conservatives,” as the Guardian put it. The Christian Science Monitor called recent conflicts over same-sex dates the newest permutation of the “Dixie prom wars,” referring to the region’s past resistance to racially integrated proms. But, in fact, McMillen’s case, and specifically her school’s refusal to come around, is an anomaly. Her impending trial may be one of the last such battles in the South because, legally at least, the region has acknowledged and protected the rights of LGBT students.
If you think about it, the Itawamba school district is pretty stupid. As Slate points out, similar incidences in states including Alabama, Georgia, Virginia, and Tennessee led to the school board backing down when facing litigation claiming the violation of constitutional rights (I wonder how Janine Turner feels about this?).
One of the Alabama cases, Collins v. Scottsboro Board of Education, was nearly identical to McMillen’s (down to a lesbian student wanting to wear a tuxedo and bring a female date) … but was ultimately handled very differently, with the school eventually forced by an Alabama circuit court to reinstate the prom.
I’m going to assume that the attitude toward the young lady in question in Scottsboro, Alabama, was similar to what McMillen experienced in Mississippi (and I make that assumption based on my general feeling that residents in New Hampshire’s “sister states” of Vermont and Maine view things basically the same way that we in the Granite State do). However, Scottsboro realized that, like it or not, they could not violate a student’s constitutional right.
Therefore, in the name of positive thinking, it’s almost better to think of the Itawamba school board as an anomaly. And, again, a chance for the South to get a bit of good press:
Though McMillen has suffered plenty throughout her ordeal, much of her life is proof that the South is changing culturally as well as legally. This spring, she casually mentioned to radio host Michelangelo Signorile that she is not the only lesbian in the family. Denise McMillen, her mother, who is 37 and lives in southern Mississippi, has openly dated women since her 20s and raised Constance’s 15-year-old younger sister with her partner, Elsa. Her mother is not a gay activist, unless that is what living openly makes you. She works as a waitress and manager at the Whistle Stop Café in Wiggins, Miss., sells Mary Kay cosmetics on the side and refers to herself as a small-town girl.
Denise says her own churchgoing mother accepted her sexual orientation almost immediately and that she has rarely found herself the subject of anti-gay hostility. Constance’s father and his very religious parents have said that while they may not approve of homosexuality generally, they accept Constance as she is. Constance doesn’t recall her classmates at Itawamba High voicing any objection to her sexual orientation until the school canceled the prom. Both Constance and Denise say they have never feared for their safety. If anything, Constance’s family life is an example of how gay people and nontraditional families increasingly get by without much ado in Mississippi.
And then, of course, there’s the point that Constance McMillen was obviously raised with clear eyes and an open mind. If the South was truly as backwards as urban legend has it made out to be, the very essence of Constance McMillen herself would probably be very different:
Though she doesn’t belong to a church, McMillen describes herself as an “open-minded Christian” and a strong believer in monogamy, which she expresses in a distinctly evangelical way. “Actually, I have a promise ring from my girlfriend, and I’m pretty sure that within the next year she’s going to propose. Of course, we wouldn’t get married until she’s 18.” One male student once asked McMillen’s girlfriend, “How can you be redneck and gay at the same time?” which seems tantamount to proof that the woman in front of him had that figured out. McMillen would like to live in Los Angeles when she gets older, but that is due in part to many, many hours spent watching The L Word. Her girlfriend says she doesn’t want to come because she can’t hunt there.
I’ve never been to the South beyond driving through on the way to Florida. What I know of a region much maligned by us northerners (“They’re wicked wacked out down South!” [Ed. Note: No, we're wicked wacked out in the North ... ]) is gleaned from movies, television shows, and books, especially the works of Pat Conroy and Anne Rivers Siddons. I’m starting to realized how truly unfair this is.
And so Candace McMillen’s nightmarish experience continues to be a valuable lesson — to those in the South about the importance of the U.S. Constitution (and the rights provided therein) and to those of us that may have thought of the South as almost a caricature of human nature. There is still a lot of learning left to do, but it’s refreshing to see forward-moving steps.
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I’m glad you wrote this article. I’m from North Carolina- a great place to live actually!- and am from, as I have stated before, a very very conservative family. But that hardly means I am conservative or that most of the people I know are conservative. Quite the opposite. Many of the people of father’s church consider themselves democrats. But it is also notable that most people in the south aren’t “rednecks”… saying that is like saying everyone who lives in New Jersey is like the cast of Jersey Shore. Of course you likely know someone who is like that (in your eyes) and there may even be a deep secret part of you which has a bit of that element. This liberalization of the south is probably largely due to people from different areas moving in, but regardless it has happened. It is really annoying when people treat the south as some alien planet.
Last time I was in Charlotte NC, I can’t remember talking to anybody who even had an accent. But I sure like collard greens with my cornbread!
My last roommate was from Boston and she had never had grits or cream of wheat. What a sad life.
Come on – surely everyone has had Cream of Wheat?
The best ever is Coco Wheats. I love them!
Most people believe that the Civil War was about slavery and states rights,but it wasn’t,someone from PA put sugar on their grits.
And chocolate :)
Ah yes, the misconceptions surrounding the war are tragic indicators of the american education system. The great crusade for the correct pronunciation of syrup was barely resolved at the battle of seven pines 1862. The preserves incident came to a head at harper’s berry, and soon after, the bloodiest day of battle, aint-you-gunna-eatem, proved how complicated this war would become.
I’m glad to hear this. With all the anti-gay crap I’ve heard spouting out of the south in the news over the last year, I’d been getting pretty disgusted.
If anyone had a same sex relationship at my high school they were expelled as soon as they were caught. This girl needs to realise how many queer youths are terrified of being outed all over the world and stop winging about a prom, when she has acceptance from her family and friends.
I was so surprised when I started hearing all of these stories. There were a few open lesbians at my high school, and no one seemed to give a crap. They wore tuxes (or dresses) to prom and danced with their girlfriends and all was well and good with sparkles and rainbows. Then I hear about other states where this kind of crap happens and it’s just depressing. I can’t believe people were expelled for being gay at your high school, though. It’s unbelievable. I like to think we’ve finally moved on from that.
I hate the fact that my fathers former high school is so backwards! But I also hate the fact that you tell people you are from Mississippi and they immediately assume so much.
I lived there, was raised there. Have moved on to University. Both of my parents have masters degrees and I figure that if I came out as a lesbian they would not care at all.
But apparently the bible thumping school board does :S
who are they to say anything anyways….
[...] The South deserves more respect And so Candace McMillen’s nightmarish experience continues to be a valuable lesson — to those in the South about the importance of the U.S. Constitution (and the rights provided therein) and to those of us that may have thought of the South as almost a caricature of human nature. There is still a lot of learning left to do, but it’s refreshing to see forward-moving steps. [...]
If you get far enough back into the hills of South Carolina,they think lesbians are people from Beirut.
Thank you for posting this. I am a southerner and have had a lifetime of people automatically assuming I’m stupid, racist and uneducated.
Redneck is actually a pretty classist term for a “progressive” like you, gigi, look into it.
Sorry, did you actually read her comment, dumbass?
hi guys i can’t wait for the expendables to come out! It’s gonna be awesome!