Ah, the power of the internets does it again.
Recently, researchers have examined the power of websites that encourage eating disorders and have found, predictably, that they are very damaging. These sites act as sort of a how-to guide to becoming anorexic or bulimic. They also provide moral support (that term feels so wrong here) and other types of encouragement, i.e. providing photos of bony thin women on the site. Apparently, anecdotal doctors have been aware of the presence of these sites for a long time. Some claim that many of their patients have used the sites to help them know how to become anorexic or bulimic.
Now, there are a lot of wonderful things that world wide web provides us, but there are always controversial websites that mortify the rest of us. To me, though, this is worse than just one of those controversial sites. What I find exceptionally dangerous about the situation is that these sites are creating an acceptable social niche for people with these eating disorders. I’m no psychologist, but I imagine that someone who is susceptible to an eating disorder has a natural inclination to be more concerned with fitting in socially and feeling included and accepted. Providing an online resource to propagate an environment where fitting in suddenly includes having an eating disorder is a perfect storm for these people. Not only do they have explicit instructions on how to become anorexic, but they suddenly have a cheering squad to get them to do so.
What’s worse is that, generally speaking, it isn’t so much grown adults using these sites as it is children. I can see why a teenage girl, for example, would latch on to something like this. Most teens are already familiar and very comfortable using social networking sites, and these sites could fulfill a similar purpose. Eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia are known for causing health problems later in life, especially for people who have suffered from such a disorder for a long time, i.e. they started as children.
I am actually really bothered that these websites even exist. The article mentions that even after they get shut down, they will reappear somewhere else (which isn’t too surprising). But in all honesty, what kinds of people are putting these sites up? It boggles my mind that there are people that would do that. I know, I should probably be more jaded and expect that sort of thing, but I can’t help it.
What are your thoughts? I’m sure you’re even vaguely familiar with sites of this nature. Will they ever go away completely?
I doubt these sites will ever really go away. Hell, there are even sites dedicated to helping people commit suicide. Because everyone needs their own twisted, internet-enabled hobby?
As a former frequenter of these sites, at least some of them are not “how-to” guides to having an eating disorder. The one I was on the most actually banned people for posting anything like that, and had rules about whiting out text that could be a potential trigger, etc. Many are not like that, of course, but some are actually communities. An eating disorder is one of the most isolating conditions possible, especially as other mental health issues become less stigmatized. Anything that helps you feel less alone in that situation can actually be beneficial, and I know that in some cases it’s saved the lives of members. I can’t speak to whether or not I might have committed suicide, but days that were dark already would have been nearly hopeless if I had had NO ONE to interact with who understood what I was going through.
i used to use these sites as well, they a lot of them are focused on supporting people emotionally through the tough times that come with having an eating disorder. There are rules on using “trigger” words, images etc. These websites are more like support forums then anything else.
I disagree with the commenters above. some websites are nice support lines for people struggling with EDs. These websites are not those websites. These are truly in favour, and are not trying to help anyone cure themselves.
Who puts these up? People with eating disorders they don’t desire to lose, of course – in other words, exactly the people who will want to use them. I doubt any are set up by some random guy who hopes everyone will get skinny.
It’s freedom, and the web should be free. do I like the idea? No. But as long as free people have the freedom to congregate, such things will arise.
The process of recovering from an eating disorder is long, intense, and seems impossible. To help people in the short-term, especially from a removed position, it’s often more beneficial to provide support to avoid more problems. The #2 cause of death of people with eating disorders, after heart problems, is suicide. This probably sounds really messed up to someone who hasn’t been through it, but when you’re not to the point that you can begin to recover, the amount that you despise yourself for eating more than you wanted (or losing control and bingeing) is so far above the everyday level of hate that it really makes you want to die. I’m thankful all the time for the fact that I wasn’t suffering from depression at the same time, as many girls are, because the horror of the scale the morning after a binge, or when you’ve had a few “good days” in a row and haven’t lost… it’s incomprehensible to most people, I’m sure, but it really makes you want to die.
Which is why I totally favour support forums for people struggling with this. In all kinds of difficult situations, people find it very helpful to talk with others who are going through or have dealt with the same thing. That’s great.
But the ‘here’s how to do this’, ‘congratulate x on getting under 90lbs’, ‘i’ve learned a new way to trick the scale’ sites are doing a different thing.
Honest question, are there that many rules/guidelines to eating disorders that it would take a website to provide the how-to? It always seemed pretty straight forward to me, either eat bare minimum so you don’t pass out constantly and drink gallons of water to feel full plus exercise like a demon, or eat but purge purge purge and purge again. Plus water and exercise.
It’s not rules as much as strategies. I won’t get into the details too much unless someone wants to know specifics, but people have plans for how many calories to eat each day, recipes, and so on. Your interpretation of an eating disorder is pretty common but it’s much more complicated than that.
They also contain strategies on how to make it look like you’ve eaten and how to hide it from your family and how to answer the awkward questions.
I don’t think these sites will ever go away. There are millions upon millions of web sites; some of those millions include pro-ana sites; some of those millions do not.
Kai said it well above. I don’t agree with or like websites that are pro-eating disorder of any kind, but they exist. To me, it’s similar to freedom of speech. The creators or authors of those sites have a right to speak freely on their website, just like I speak freely in my own blog. I don’t agree with their message, as I believe it’s dangerous and damaging, but they have a right to voice their opinions regarding eating disorders (or anything else, for that matter).
My girl friend is a Christian who loves people. I met her when I was going through my cancer scare. So I will always love her. Because she loved me. Even when I was finding difficult at work, she loved me. I have done and will do anything for her, because she gave me something to run for.
I met her with baggage but in life who doesn’t. I told her all of my faults and flaws and she loved me unconditionally. fy
She recently developed an ED stemming from unresolved issues in the past.
Some of the issues were:
Not being listened to at school
Being overweight in the early stages of her life
Mother and family not allowing her to make mistakes
Being compare to high flying family members
Peers getting married ……………….
Recently she had trouble at her last job where she didn’t know how to deal with rejection from work college, a long distance relationship etc.
I love my girl friend so much, and have been dating for the past 2 years with the hope of getting married soon. If I had the money I would have married her earlier.
I didn’t see the signs of her struggling because she was on tour with her job. I just want every man out there to listen and pay attention when your lady speaks, even if you don’t understand.
Just listen. She has the ability to fix things for herself but you need to love her, support her, and listen.
The mother is very controlling and I felt like a complete failure when I came out of the cancer scare, and could deal with work stress, but she loved me.
When I was getting bullied and harassed at work my girlfriend supported me. I always gave her the best of what I had, because she gave me God and hope in dark situations.
But things just got difficult because she felt that her family was not supporting her, and she felt at times like an outsider looking in, because of her points of view wasn’t her. I thought I was supporting her by giving her solutions when she just wanted me to listen.
I know that I could have made more of an effort to get to know her family but my family just isn’t like that.
When she was on tour I would travel the world to see her and would make myself available whenever she needed me. Even when she would travel back late at night to her hotel room I would be on the end of a phone.
Our main arguments were not being able to see each her more often and why are you not going to church.
It’s difficult when you get into a relationship with someone and people keep on trying to control your lives especially when you old enough to buy a house.
Parents you need to understand one size doesn’t fit all when dealing with you children. Some are strong and some are emotional. Some need love and some just want acceptance.
Boyfriends listen out for the silent cry for help from your lady. If she starts tell you that she finding it difficult doesn’t try and fix it. Just listen and let her fell that she in control of her own life. Be strong and find help for her. Learn about EDs not just for her but for everybody. This problem is a lot bigger and affects so many people. Please if you care about life do something today, don’t wait until it too late.
We all want to be in control in a world where everything we do is outside of our control.
Example:
People’s perception of self
How you view self
What defines you?
Relationships
Love/loss
Pain/anguish
Hurt………..
I am current battling to understand what EDs’ are so that I can help my girlfriend. I need to know because it affects every one whether we want to believe it or not. Think about it.
As long as you watch TV our views of self are reflections of what you think, see and hear.
If you don’t have the support network around you, then you will find it in food, drug and sex.
That why food and drugs are always listed together on the government adgender because they know it is profitable, addictive and can be used to control people.
My girlfriend has loss a lot of weight and it broke my heart after not seeing her for 2 months. She said, “Have I lost weight”.
I said, ” Yes and I love you because you loved me”.
It’s like she was in control and then the avalanche effect to over. Weight just seems to drop off.
Her mother worried like anything, I’m scared I might lose her. My family is praying daily for God to restore her back to health.
The last time I saw her she keep on talking about how much she would like to eat food, but she just can’t seem to eat it. She always kept on telling me how tired and faint she felt. After a mouth full of food she would feel really bloated. Its hard. Please don’t put people through this.
It’s hard for me. The last conversation we had was:
I hope your well xx
I mean it xx
Please guys/girls I know it’s hard to stop but your flirting with death every time you give in to that beast in your head. It starts to control you, and eventually you will lose control but it’s hard to stop because your body will have a learned behavior. Please I really love her and would give my life to see her right now.
I hate those dam TV shows, music industries and stupid people who promote self harm as being a thing of fashion.
I would love to see every day people on the TV. You know real people, not this force fed crap which we have been told it fashionable.
Any way she is away for 2week with limited contact to family, and her phone is with her aunty how I don’t get alone with.
I miss her but need to make sure I can support her because she is my best friend, lover, and soul mate.
If you want help call
Sufferer’s Helpline: 01934 710679
Parent Helpline: 01934 710645
http://www.anorexiabulimiacare.co.uk/
You still have a choice.
Signed Boy friend who loves you dearly
Please read
Please Please listen by a survivor
When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.
When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Don’t talk or do – just hear me.
Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper, and I can do for myself; I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. But when you accept as a simple fact that I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can stop trying to convince you and get about this business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.
And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.
Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes, for some people – because G*d is mute, and he doesn’t give advice or try to fix things. G*d just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.
So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute
for your turn – and I will listen to you.
by Author Unknown and adapted by A.E.S.T.
i love this pic <3 its so inspiring! idc wut u pple have to say i love it(:
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