Plenty has been said here at Zelda Lily about the evils of Megan Fox. We’ve written her open letters, discussed why she’s an ungrateful bitch and considered Diablo Cody’s defense of her.
But no matter what you think of Fox, she does seem to be — for the moment, at least — on her way out of the limelight. Michael Bay replaced her in the next Transformers, and all of her non-shapeshifting robot movies have pretty much been flops.
I like Megan Fox. I don’t like her “bitches be jealous” mantra, but I like her because she admits she’s playing the stupid bombshell role half of the time because it’s what she needs to do to get jobs.
With that said, the person you ought to be worried about is Olivia Munn.
Olivia Munn refuses to let go of the smoke and mirrors and continues to market herself as the geeky hot chick with a mouth like a sailor all the while attacking angry “fat chicks” who be hatin’. In fact, Olivia is sick of people making such a fuss about successful ladies.
“When I go into this situation, I don’t think, ‘Oh, great. I’m a woman. This is awesome. I think, ‘F**k yeah, I worked my a** off and somebody recognized it. This is great! We’re all human beings in this world,” she continued. “We’re all trying to make it from point A to point B, and just trying to f***ing make it. So I think it’s really a disservice to all women when there are women out there who try to compartmentalize us as human beings, saying ‘women’ and ‘men,’ because I’m just out there.”
Munn is referring to her gig as the new Daily Show correspondent, bringing their total number of female correspondents to three along with the fantastic Samanththa Bee and Flight of the Concords‘ hilarious Kristen Schaal. Samantha Bee has argued in the past that the lack of a stronger female presence on the show is due to the fact that it’s hard to find female comedians who look like they could plausibly be reporters — the right age, the right serious tone, etc. So I guess they gave up and went for a Maxim model with bad comedic timing instead.
There is nothing wrong with the fact that Munn is sexy. The problem is that her whole “I can do anything you can do better” schtick is, in the end, only really meant to appeal to men — not women. Well that, and judging by her Daily Show tryout, she’s really not that funny.
I don’t buy into the concept that all women in Hollywood ought to consider themselves feminist ambassadors, but what I dislike about Munn is that her guy’s girl routine is so clearly an act. If it were genuine, it would be fine. But instead, it comes off as such blatant pandering for money and male attention that it borders on distasteful, even sexist.
Take, for instance, Munn’s highly insensitive and ridiculous description of what internet celebrity feels like:
“At first it was like an old man luring in little girls with candy… You go in and it’s like, ‘Oh, candy! They’re saying nice things! And then it’s like, ‘Oh, God! Anally raped. That’s not what I wanted. I just wanted the candy. And I got candy, but oh, it’s not worth it.”
Charming.
Then there’s her Complex Halloween costumes article. The concept is that Munn will dress up in a variety of “sexy” costumes to explain to men why women choose them. A couple of examples:
The Sexy Librarian? Well, it’s to get revenge on that man who cheated on you!
Party It’s Best For: “The one where you’re going to see the ex-boyfriend you hate. This outfit is so sexy, it’ll make him wish he never cheated on you with your best friend … in your house … on the new sheets your mom just bought for you. It looks like you aren’t trying too hard, but with the bra exposed and that tight skirt, you’ll get your revenge.”
The Sexy Bunny is great because women are jealous of each other, naturally, but on Halloween those jealous bitches can’t call you a whore. So whore it up — for men! But what if you’re a fatty?
Candy To Expect: “Full-size candy bars—no fun-size here. Just hope no one is giving you the healthy stuff; that’s probably a good hint that this outfit is a little too tight for you. If this happens, head home immediately and cry.”
Oh, Olivia — preaching the values of self-loathing.
Perhaps you’re unconvinced. Okay, how about this charming quote?
“I never tried to use anything besides my own sweat and blood and talent to get somewhere. I think that anyone who’s out there trying to bring down why any woman would get anywhere, or why we’re different, just needs to f**king turn her f**king computer off, take the sandwich out of her mouth and go for a goddamn f**king walk. You know what? Just walk it off, bitch. Just walk it off, bitch.”
Sidenote, but why are sandwiches supposedly the go-to food for sad fat women in the mind’s of men and the women who pander to them? But that’s neither here nor there. Because anyone who hates her is a fat bitch! Oh shit. Olivia just called me out. Because, you know, men don’t hate Olivia. Men love Olivia. And when men love women, other women hate those women. Because that’s what ladies do — we hate each other. And we try to get revenge on men who cheated on us. And we cry about people thinking we’re fat.
Olivia Munn is a problem.
“It looks like you aren’t trying too hard, but with the bra exposed and that tight skirt, you’ll get your revenge.””
You know, when I see a woman with her tits and ass hanging out I ALWAYS think that here is a girl who is not trying too hard.
I actually make really good sandwiches.
I was just thinking about women and sandwiches, on deep reflection I have never had a really good sandwich made by a woman. Why do women be hatin on sandwiches! And also fat women who hate over the internet eat nuked frozen burritos.
.
I’m really more of a spanikopita woman when I’m in a woman-hating, computer-typing mood, but it’s probably because I’m all international and cultured and whatnot.
“I was just thinking about women and sandwiches, on deep reflection I have never had a really good sandwich made by a woman.”
OMG!
Once again, we agree!
This is why I have men make all of my sandwiches.
When I’m doing my internet hating stuff.
What a strange person. I kept reading her quotes trying to find the comedic value…but nope! Not funny, just stupid and kind of offensive. The overt dropping of the f bomb was a tad odd, too. I myself love to say fuck (fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK fucksocks, fucktastic, etc) but I’m not usually that bad, and don’t generally direct it at other people.
WOW someone’s pissed that Munn’s moving from G4. Are you worried AotS won’t be as mediocre without her?
Also, she’s not just some Maxim model, she’s been working on TV for a few years now, and RDJ himself praised her improv chops on the set of IM2. Way to downplay her in the most sexist way possible!
Two things:
1) She was in Iron Man 2 for, what, ten seconds? Even if she had a longer scene originally, doesn’t it speak volumes that it was cut?
2) I can name a number of actors or actresses who’ve been on TV or in movies for years. It doesn’t make them talented.
Geeze, what did this chick ever do to you? From the way you’re down on her you would think she stole your boyfriend and put live bees in your mailbox. Chill out.
What is your bitter beef with Munn, anyway? Yeah, she was IN the movie for ten seconds, but the fun thing about moviemaking is you don’t do everything in a single take; she wasn’t on-set for just ten seconds. And if ROBERT DOWNEY JUNIOR’s blessing isn’t enough, I don’t know how to impress you.
So I didn’t find her offensive… or to be perfectly honest sexist. I didn’t find her all that funny but she bitched about people who dislike her, what exactly is shocking about that? it happens with both sexes all the time. And so yes I disagreed with Halloween vengeance as to me looking like a massive whore generally doesn’t prove to people you were a good long term bet. If she really did work her butt off to get a good job and respectable place in life good for her, and why are we bashing her for identifying herself more as a human then a woman? to see yourself more as a single species then separating yourself based upon what your genitalia looks like to me sounds like a good thing, judging all by the same page is what equality is yes? isn’t equality supposed to be what we fight for?
Well said.
I quite like that comment. I too expect to be judged on my abilities and not my body parts. But there’s a lot of unnecessary crap that fails to endear her to me.
I am with her – I hate obesity too.
(lost 17 pounds since I last spoke to you phuckers. Still fat, still not giving up.)
Congratulations Goo!
yay! That must have taken work! Good luck continuing down to what you feel is healthy!
Whatever, she’s just an ignorant fool. And a hypocrite in my mind; the woman is famous for being alternative, a geek. Turning around and acting like women who don’t fit a certain mold aren’t real women just makes her sound insecure and desperate for some dude to agree with her and give her some validation.
I would validate her… All. Night. Long. Awww yeah!
And this would be a girlfriend that you wouldn’t have to inflate!
Breaking out the classics eh old timer? That one was old back when your validater still worked.
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Oh for God’s sake, she can be hot AND geeky, ever think of that?? And she never actually said fat, she could have meant lazy. Before you start preaching maybe you should double check your grammar first.
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Olivia Munn is such a problem that you’ll post a scantily clad image of her several hundred pixels high at the top of the entry. I’m sure that you didn’t use any SEO tactics to make sure her name and image helped draw eyeballs to your site.
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The bottom line is that Olivia Munn is funny the way a stand up comic in a movie about early Vegas is funny — because you feel cool ID’ing with their superior rant — but she isn’t particularly clever or imaginative & she’ll be history soon. you want funny Asian chick? Margaret Cho …
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You sound bitter…
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