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Last month Gloria Steinem addressed UT Dallas as part of their gender studies lecture series. One of the most interesting things she discussed was how much men have to gain from feminism. She actually made a top ten list a la David Letterman –
Top 10 Ways that Men Benefit from Feminism
10. Through feminism, men are liberated from stereotypes, too.
9. Women’s skills are required to raise children. But, men have them too.
8. Men have been shortchanged by being told to marry someone who can cook rather than someone who can be a companion. “I’m sure that men who have been trained essentially to marry their housekeepers were lonely,” Steinem said.
7. The women’s movement can increase a man’s life by an average of four years. Steinem said that if men were to eliminate causes of death typically attributed to masculine roles, including deaths from violence, speeding and tension-related disease, their life expectancy would almost equal women’s.
6. Boys can remain close to their mothers.
5. If men aren’t hooked on dominance and hierarchy with other men, they are saved from the self-loathing that comes from the need for control.
4. Laughter can once again become commonplace, even in serious rituals. “In ancient cultures like Wilma’s, seriousness and laughter are not separate,” said Steinem.
3. Men can continue discovering talents, without being divorced from them.
2. Sex and race are intertwined. You can’t uproot one without the other. “There’s really no such thing as being a feminist without being an anti‑racist,” she said.
1. Eliminating the sexual caste system – the cult of femininity and masculinity – eliminates the root cause of almost all violence.
I think the natural reaction for men is to go the defensive when they hear the term ‘feminist’. They may feel like the discussion of feminism inherently places blame on men in general – but obviously that is not true. If we were placing blame, women can be just as anti-feminist as some men. In reality, feminism often recognizes the parental rights of men and how beneficial their voices can be in our movement. Gloria’s strategy of appealing to men directly reduces any defensive reactions and promotes feminism as essential for everyone. This is definitely a list to pass on.
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Nice posting.
Thank you :)
#2 is absolutely perfect.
Sadly, there is still so much stigma attached to the word, “feminist,” some women (and men) simply choose to not be associated with it. We need to change the connotation of the word in order for people to understand what it really means.
Somebody has to explain #6 to me?
I think there’s a stigma that prevents ‘manly men’ from being close to their mothers (ie, mamma’s boys). So men enbracing feminism would make it less of a femine thing to be close to your mother and thus it would be more acceptable to be a manly man and a mamma’s boy simultaneously.
That’s what I get out of that at least.
Great points!
that was a great article.
i remember when my husband and i were still newly weds (almost 5 years ago) and he came home from work a bit agitated.
when i asked him what it was, he said he was frustrated with the language used in a briefing at work (he’s active duty military). the men were referred to as such, but the women were referred to as girls. he found it demeaning.
and although you’d be hard-pressed to get him to say outright he’s a feminist, he’s certainly down for the cause. (all the moreso now that we’ve got two little girls of our own)
<<— A proud male feminist
And have been all my life
I think the earlier liberation movements had these things to gain for men. I don’t believe that is still the case.
These days, a lot of the radical feminazis really do consider women to be better than men. Many ‘feminists’ want the best of both worlds – to be considered equal, yet still expect the man to pay for her, and open her doors. Many ‘feminists’ believe that anything a man can do, a woman can do, but no man could ever possibly compare to a woman’s innate ‘motherhood instinct’.
If you want men on board, these things need to be avoided.
Are there REALLY any boys being raised and told to “marry someone who can cook”?
I would go on, but it’s time to put the roast in the oven and make the salad….
Not anymore. And that’s the point.
I would say definitely – from my experience in Oklahoma, the very conservative, extremely religious families absolutely push traditional gender roles.
I don’t know, but I work at Albertsons and this woman came in with her baby and was buying baby food with a WIC check, and she turned to me and said, “You should marry well so you don’t have to worry about money.” I was like, “uhh..Ok?” But that’s frustrating because she’s pretty much saying that I can’t make the money on my own.
No, she was saying if you marry into money, you don’t HAVE to make it yourself. Don’t be so defensive.
No, I’ve seen that too. There really are a lot of people who just assume that the only way for women to acquire money is to marry it. You don’t often hear suggestions to go to school and train up for a lucrative industry.
I’m fond of the alternate ’strive to be the person you’d like to marry’.
Think it would be great to marry into money? Make the money. Think it would be nice to marry someone who cooks? Learn to cook. It works for personal attributes too.
Where once choosing a husband was the most important thing a girl could do to determine her future, she now has the freedom to make herself into all of the things she’d have wanted her husband to be. Personal differences withstanding, of course.
I liked this article. I think it’s true that a lot of guys are absolutely afraid of the term “feminist,” even if they don’t know why.
I used to always supported feminism (I could never understand why women I met refused to be associated with the term), that was until I started dating one. I thought reading up on feminism would bring us closer together, MISTAKE! After a few hours of reading up on the internet the concept I had always taken to be a good thing horrified me, not the original aim but the current execution. In retrospect I can see that although the concept always seemed like a good thing, the only women that I ever met who actually called themselves feminists one was on lots of anti-depressants and the other, well lets just say she has extreme “mommy” issues.
Clearly the two women you know who referred to themselves as feminists were troubled. Therefore, all feminists are troubled?
You’re generalizing, but I have yet to meet a feminist (in person) who did not have emotional issues. They must exist, I just have not seen one.
who is Wilma and what is/was her culture?
It’s often helpful to read the original article – I usually do before I offer an opinion.
Here is what I got from the original article, although it still leaves a lot unstated. I believe the piece that this blog was derived from wasn’t extremely well written.
Her opening remarks drew on her recent experience with the late Wilma Mankiller, former principal chief of the Cherokee nation.”
LOL,I thought she was talking about Wilma Flintstone.
Joey, Me too!!!!
“Mankiller”?!Bahahahaha!
http://zeldalily.com/index.php/2010/04/first-female-cherokee-chief-dies-at-64/
Wilma Mankiller was an awesome lady. :)
refers to wilma mankiller though this article does not tell us that
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