Humorous cartoons bring to light some rather harsh truths about the portrayal of so-called “Disney Princesses” in many movies made by the Walt Disney Company. One depicts the perspective of the princesses while the other looks at it from the princes’ sides.
The Little Mermaid
Ariel, a mermaid obsessed with the human world, falls in love with Prince Eric after saving his life at sea. She trades her voice to the evil sea witch in exchange for human legs, and is of course not able to tell Eric the truth about who she is (although she is capable of writing her name when she signs Ursula’s scroll, but whatevs).
Ariel: “It’s okay to abandon your family, drastically change your body, and give up your strongest talent in order to get your man. Once he sees your pretty face, only a witch’s spell could draw his eyes away from you.”
Eric: “Women have nothing important to say.”
While Eric is taken in by Ariel’s pretty face and sweet ways, he doesn’t seem bothered by her silence—in fact, he might even prefer it. And the fact that Ariel gave up every ounce of her true self—singing voice, fins, sisters, the little crab/fish combo she chillaxes with—for a man is really pretty disconcerting.
Snow White is sent deep into the woods by a woodcutter who was supposed to kill her but lets her escape, where she finds refuge in a house of seven dwarfs. She’s pretty happy there, until the jealous queen poisons Snow White with an apple.
Snow White: “At first it may seem terrible being so beautiful that other women get jealous enough to try and kill you. But don’t worry, once your beauty attracts a man, he’ll protect you.”
The Prince: “Necrophilia is a good dating strategy.”
Yeah, it sucks to be so beautiful, Snow White. Karma, though … you’re a good person, you take care of the dwarfs in ways I don’t even want to consider, and then, okay, you end up dead for a while, but then a prince comes along so impressed by your beauty that he kisses your dead lips and voila!
So called ‘Street Rat’ Aladdin meets the beautiful Princess Jasmine when she leaves the palace to see the world away from her sheltered life. The two hit it off, but Aladdin is convinced that Jasmine could never love a homeless street kid. Enter Robin Williams as the Genie, and Aladdin becomes the rich and powerful Prince Ali.
Jasmine: “As a woman, your political worth is reduced to your marriageability.”
Aladdin: “Just lie, it’ll totally work.”
Yeah, Jasmine has the connection between politics and relationships figured out pretty well, all things considered. She was definitely the brains in the relationship. And Aladdin? He’s an opportunist—you lie and then smile winningly when caught, and it’ll all work out all right.
Princess Aurora is given grace, beauty, and so on by the good fairies, but the evil fairy Maleficent is pissed off about not being invited to the ceremony, so she predicts the baby will prick her finger on a spinning wheel when she is sixteen and die. The last good fairy is able to fix it a bit by saying that she’ll prick her finger, but instead of dying, she’ll just fall asleep for a long time.
Sleeping Beauty: “Pretty girls don’t even need to be alive to get some hot, princely action.”
Prince Philip: “Strangers want you to make out with them while they sleep.”
Yeah, I always found this one to be a bit boring … But seriously, Princess Aurora slept for a hundred years, woke up to find a handsome prince (who, were he to live in modern times, would probably be packing roofies) kissing her, and was completely all right with it. She scores, with a hundred years of morning breath, more easily than I do when I wear heels into a bar and sit by myself.
Cinderella lives with her wicked stepmother and stepsisters who treat her like a servant. With the help of her fairy godmother, she’s able to sneak to the royal ball where she of course catches the eye of the eligible Prince Charming.
Cinderella: “If you’re beautiful enough, you may be able to escape your terrible living conditions by getting a wealthy man to fall for you.”
Prince Charming: “Try a little charm, wealth, and fame. That’s hot.”
So Charming was a sugar daddy? SO not hot …
Beauty and the Beast
Belle’s father gets lost in the woods and comes upon a magical house where the objects are alive … and he is threatened by a terrible beast. His daughter, Belle, agrees to change places with him because he is old and sick. The Beast is mean to her at first, but then they become friends.
Belle: “Appearances don’t matter; what counts is in your heart. Unless you’re the girl.”
The Beast: “Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, Stockholm Syndrome.”
Stockholm Syndrome—I’m sorry, but that has me ROTFLMAO. Seriously. I’m a sick woman, I guess.
So what do you think? It had never before occurred to me how really twisted these “enviable” relationships were. And you know the worst part? They all lived happily ever after …