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Dress it up whatever way you want, AshleyMadison.com is a site for spouses looking to cheat on their significant other — it’s cheating, plain and simple.
I came across an interview between a woman named Stephania and MomLogic and I’ll be honest: I was kind of taken aback. Not at the woman’s honesty; that was admirable, but at the fact that she could speak so flippantly about her marital indiscretion.
Stephania claimed that she logged onto the site at the end of a floundering marriage and met another man — one that was cheating on his respective wife — and whom she ultimately married. Stephania stated that after a friend turned her onto AshleyMadison, she received a lot of inquiries — most of which centered around married men looking for a little something on the side. Stephania herself claimed that she didn’t want just another lap around the bedroom, but a relationship that she could cultivate and nurture, unlike her marriage to her now-ex-husband.
She finally met who she claims to be the “love of her life”, Michael. Michael was going through a divorce, picking up the pieces and looking to begin a new, more solid relationship with another woman. The relationship progressed (online) rather quickly and Stephania’s husband ultimately found the paper trail proving her infidelity. The couple’s marriage ceased to exist not too long after this incident.
This past February, the new couple celebrated their three-year anniversary.
Stephania was asked if AshleyMadison deserves the bad rap it’s gotten and she claims that the hype surrounding the site being a “cheating” website is all wrong:
“The site always gets a bad rap that it’s for cheaters. But you wouldn’t be on there if you weren’t already to that point … my marriage was essentially over, and that’s the only reason I signed on.”
Ah, yes. Her marriage was “essentially” over, but only got to the “over” part when her husband found out Stephania was being unfaithful. I kind of find that part in itself mildly questionable.
You can read the entire interview here, and draw your own conclusions, but the bottom line is — if your marriage is bad enough that you want it to end, why complicate matters further by engaging in something that’s only going to confuse the issue at hand?
What do you guys think?
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I think her marriage really was over, and her now ex-husband finding the emails was what they both needed to finally push them apart. Hell, I have friends who are in relationships that will end this way 20 years from now and they don’t even see that it will. It maddens me that people can’t see that the distrust and bitterness in their relationships will ruin their lives.
However, Stephania was still cheating and that isn’t something she should be as proud of as she is.
She was married and she went out to pick up other men. It doesn’t really matter how she tried to justify it, she was cheating. She’s a cheater, he’s a cheater, and they’ve both shown that they have no respect for their marriage vows. I’m quite sure it’s only a matter of time before one of them starts cheating again.
If you’re going to give up on your marriage then have the decency to end it before you go out fishing for another partner or casual sex. A website aimed at helping married individuals find people to cheat with is just wrong on so many levels.
I’m sorry, but why in the hell would you marry a cheater? That seems totally counter-intuitive to me.
The way I see it, it’s really none of my business. If either of them wants to cheat, that’s they and their spouse’s problem.
As for the general situation, if you’re at the point where you’re looking for another relationship, your marriage is pretty much done (unless you have an open marriage). Seeing someone else while you’re still married may complicate things, but (as I said) that’s none of my business.
Yet another instance of people rationalizing themselves in circles, looking for the demented other person to lend heft to their decision so they “don’t feel alone” in their stupidity, and they continue the cycle over and over. This isn’t “trying something new”; this is old fucking hat.
You can’t cure stupid.
Tag line of infidelity site: “Life is short. Have an affair.”
Yeah, real fucking subtle.
Addendum: Sites like these reinforce the notion that trust between any two people is fundamentally nonexistent.
Verisimilitudinous: “Let’s play pretend.” Children in 30-y.o. skin.
Alternative view: Or, you can “do what you want” because “it’s your life” and no one attends your funeral because you were too busy shitting on everyone you came into contact with because of some glittery thing in the distance that kept your attention.
Further: With the majority of Americans sticking their head into their palm-held personal device, this erosion of trust is only becoming worse.
With people’s faces stuck in their “personal screens” doing “their own thing”, it becomes difficult to even maintain eye contact, much less something more meaningful without thinking, “this person is here, but not really.” Or, upon meeting someone, thinking, “What personal substrata of bullshit am I going to have to cut through in order to get to something genuine?”
Call it slippery slope, but it only gets worse from that point on.
Recondite –
That’s a really great comment. It’s an interesting idea: “personal screens” and people in danger of putting more value on their virtual self than their real lives and relationships.
When I’m with someone in person I will not speak to them or engage in any way with them while they have a device in their hands. It’s cost me some friends. Can you believe that?? Fucking bizarre.
As in you refused to acknowledge any friend of yours that happened to be looking at a phone or ipod? Methinks it’s not that bizarre that that kind of behavior lost you some friends. Yes, it’s rude to interact with someone and an electronic device at the same time, but I don’t get hung up if one of my friends checks for a text while talking to me.
I think people like to jump on the “technology is killing our social skills” bandwagon. I can still interact with people face to face, and so can everyone else I associate with. Yes, some people lose their ability to interact with others, but they clearly had issues to begin with if a lump of plastic could do that to them.
I’m not just talking about the devices themselves, and a dismissive comment won’t stanch the trend. This isn’t technophobia, it’s the identification of a symptom that people have to screen out others in an attempt to pretend that they are the only ones in their little (virtual) world and everyone else is just a 2-dimensional player in the story of their lives.
Their is a clear lack of mutuality in this trend. The technology was one of the concrete identifiers that reinforce this notion. My comments aren’t meant to be seen as all about technology. This is about fundamental two-way human communication.
My overall point is that only one of my FOUR original posts had to do w/tech; the others only in an oblique aspect. Responding to the totality of my comments would require a more complex response though?
Um, ok. I didn’t realize that to respond to one of your comments I had to analyze every aspect of it. In fact, I was responding to kerin’s comment as well. I simply took something that has been on my mind that the two of you brought up and commented on it.
[...] A lady actually met her husband on a site for cheaters? – Zelda Lily Like most artists, Jimi Hendrix is even more popular after death – Wiz Bang [...]
See my previous comment about two-way communication.
you seem unable to grasp they way comments work here. Writing separate comments invites them to be treated as separate thoughts. If a person replies to one, it is assumed that they are replying to that comment – not the entirety of what you have written. If you have other things to say, you should reply to the comment intended to clarify things. It gets messy over time without the nesting.
Oh good, I was afraid I was the only person that was annoying.
From the title, I was expecting the woman to meet on the site the man to which she was currently married. And then the pina colada song began playing in my head. It’s probably going to continue all night. It made me disappointed to come here and find otherwise.
that’s what i read too. like, she had the clandestine meet-up with her online lover and lo-and-behold its the man she is already married to.
‘essentially over’ means ‘not over’. If you’re proud of cheating, go right ahead and embrace your cheating. Don’t expect my attendance at the celebratory party.
But don’t make excuses. If the marriage sucked, then you have the responsibility to end it, and then you can move on with your life. Doing it in the other order just makes you a cheater.
Immoral as far as I’m concerned – for the married one and anyone willing to help them – but they, it’s your life to mess up.
I think she’s a shit. And a coward.
Who cares? Marriage is only good for raising children.
Wow. That’s a really depressing viewpoint.
Well. Aren’t you just a big bundle of optimistic happiness?
Someone hasn’t witnessed enough happy and successful marriages, I gather.
[...] Website for cheaters leads to marriage! That’s gonna work. [...]
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