Remember Constance McMillen? The high school student that appeared on Ellen to speak out against her school’s attitude of discrimination when it came to a same-sex prom date? The issue that Ashley wrote on earlier in the week about the ACLU and litigation? Yep, the very same story is still a hot topic and it’s getting worse.
More sordid details regarding the discrimination of Constance McMillen are emerging from the woodwork. It appears that the school did decide to attempt and right their wrong and allowed a parent-sponsored prom to be held this past Friday in order to shut Constance up to make amends for their bigoted downfall. However, it was reported that only 7 teens (including Constance and her date) showed up for the staged prom — and shadily enough, another prom was held simultaneously at an undisclosed “country” location.
Well, after all was said and done and the seven individuals that were forward-thinking enough to attend the “real” prom, the ACLU is once-again getting involved and investigating what appears to be a staged prom.
It’s bad enough the bastards cancelled prom because they didn’t want a lesbian attending … but it’s far worse to pretend to cancel it, just to have it at another venue at the same time.
I can’t get over the backwards idea that this school allegedly had in firing off a red herring to distract McMillen from the “real” prom. Come on. You really thought you could pull this off without word leaking to the press and the media, even aside from your one of your own students? It’s two-thousand-fucking-ten! This is the decade of anti-privacy.
McMillen will allegedly speak at the end of her school day today to address rumors that a second prom did, indeed, take place at another undisclosed location.
I hope for the school’s sake that these rumors aren’t true … ’cause if they are, boy, can you imagine the trouble that they’re going to be in — and they’ll deserve every last bit.
“It’s two-thousand-fucking-ten! This is the decade of anti-privacy.” Yes, yes, YES. Nobody can keep anything private anymore. My ex found out I was seeing someone else and he is in bloody England, stupid Facebook!
As for the prom, they’re in big trouble, and shame on those who went to the secret prom.
I hadn’t heard about the sneaky prom. I thought everyone was supposedly going to the parent-sponsored one that allowed those “undesirable lesbian types.”
If it’s true, I’m having trouble wrapping my head around the idea. God, that’s so….totally immature. Really?
Question: was the secret Prom sponsored by the school? Or was it just a bunch of asshole students who decided to drive out to some open land and have their own Prom out there? Because if that’s the case, that isn’t the school’s fault. Yeah, the kids that did that aren’t of the highest moral character, and shame on them, but how could the school control what the student’s did on a Saturday night?
I agree, this sounds like a privately-sponsored, “secret” alternative to the privately-sponsored, lesbian-accepting replacement for the stupidly-cancelled, official prom. I don’t think the school had anything to do with it. It sounds like typical small-town B.S.
The kids who went to the alternative prom will regret it when they see the awesomeness of the inevitable movie version of the lesbian prom. Good name for the movie: “Private Lesbian Prom.”
Hahaha I can totally see a movie coming out of this.
How sad. No one, and I mean absolutely no one deserves to be so excluded, can you imagine how that felt?
Drama, drama.
I’m glad I just opted out of prom and went laster tagging instead.
*LASER tagging
I think the story is that the parents of some students planned another prom, and told Constance and some of her friends the wrong place so she wouldn’t assist. It was something like that, which is freaking disgusting considering that crap was put up by ADULTS. I really hope someday this assholes will regret their choice of treating this girl the way they have. And I hope even more that God will bless them with a gay son/daughter someday. :-)
I’m sorry, but the last things the kids in this senior class wanted was to be part of some massive “social experiment” prom. The courts basically forced them to have this make-up prom, and only 7 classmates decided to be part of this farce. It wasn’t their prom no matter what they called it. It was a media event for the girl that ruined their real prom. Right or wrong, that is how her classmates see it. If you work around 18-year-old kids at all, you know that’s true.
If someone decided to have a private party and dance that night, and only invite the people that they wanted to be there, the last I heard it is still a free country. How is that in any way illegal? Did the government pass some new law that says I can’t have who I want at a private party I am paying for?
Life is about compromise. Nobody was willing to compromise on this, and the senior prom for this class was basically ruined. If the majority of her classmates decided to have a private party and not involve those that they feel ruined their prom, I personally hope they had a good time. After being put through this media circus, they deserve it!!! Life gets way too serious for the next 50 or 60 years after graduation. Now is the time to party and have a little fun. I hope they had fun!!!
and i hope your kid turns out to be gay so u can see how awful it is for kids these days!
but, no, really, i get what u are saying, why do those kids have to have their prom ruined, literally cancelled, because some chick wants to bring another girl to prom. i get it. and why would those kids want to ´look at the bigger picture of gay rights being trampled on´, they are teenagers who just want to have a good prom, like they should.
i was just hoping we lived in a more tolerant world and this would have been resolved in a better, more integrative, manner. it wasnt, welcome to the real world.
It’s all very easy and everyone’s very committed until someone rains on your parade because of the “greater good”. I get where these kids are coming from, it always takes a brave one to break through, most people aren’t willing to give up, and especially not teenagers. Even though I say here I would have stuck up for McMillen, I’m not sure I would actually have done so. Still sucks a lot for her and organising an “alternative”, private prom was low, nothing to be proud of.
This entire episode has been political fodder for every faction of this argument. The liberal side is up in arms about what they see as the discrimination, and unfair treatment of this girl by the school district.
The conservatives are outraged by the special circumstances being demanded by one student, and the fact the court has bowed to her wishes in their mind.
To be frank, in the middle we have a bunch of high school students whose main goal is to just have a good time. I seriously doubt every student in that school has a white hood, and burning cross waiting for them at home. Nor do I believe there one step away from embracing the gay lifestyle with all the tolerance you find at a San Fransisco pride day parade.
In the end I’m sympathetic with the students, and think they have the right to have a private party in which they can choose not to invite somebody. Not everyone wants to be part of the next great social battle, and people sitting thousands of miles away calling them bigots won’t help much.
Yes, poor teenagers without a prom. I mean, why should they have their party ruined just because one of their classmates has had her rights trampled on? Every teenager should have the right to dress up in a gaudy outfit, make out on the dance floor with some date they won’t remember in 5 years, and then drink too much at an after party and puke everywhere. How dare this right be taken away from them. How selfish of this lesbian to violate their right to a prom by having an unacceptable sexuality.
They surely will find when they enter the real world that it is always better to put your own trivial interests before the rights of others. Worked for slavery, didn’t it? Uh…wait….
[/sarcasm]
It’s only an issue if the school organised the other event. Just other kids? Their own damn business.
“I’m sorry, but the last things the kids in this senior class wanted was to be part of some massive “social experiment” prom.”
And how, pray tell, is a woman bringing another woman a “social experiment?” It’s not that out there (even for the South, to be quite frank) it’s been done a thousand other places without real incident. It’s only here that a group of bigoted administrators are causing these serious problems (at least in this day and age). Would you be derisively calling it a “social experiment” if it were a race issue rather than a sexual orientation one?
“Life is about compromise.”
So if someone demands equal rights you’re supposed to meet them half-way? Give them ALMOST equal rights? Women want to be paid the same wage as men, so should they compromise when they get paid ALMOST the same? There are times for compromise and there are times to stand up for your rights.
“If the majority of her classmates decided to have a private party and not involve those that they feel ruined their prom”
Ok, first of all, the parent sponsored prom was held in lieu of the school district sponsored prom, and the judge declined to force the district to hold one BECAUSE of the parent sponsored prom, with the understanding that Constance was invited. That prom was later “canceled” for the even in the country club that all of 7 students went for. It was a deliberate bate and switch orchestrated by school administrators and parents to circumvent the court and discriminate against a teenage girl whom they didn’t like.
Second, if the kids want to be mad at someone for ruining the prom, they should be mad at the ONLY people responsible for canceling it. The school administration.
“Second, if the kids want to be mad at someone for ruining the prom, they should be mad at the ONLY people responsible for canceling it. The school administration.”
I agree entirely. That is who they *should* be mad at.
But seriously? These are high school kids. It’s not like they teach them logic these days.
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How shallow, how petty these teenagers are. How dare they not think of the greater good, and strike a blow for social justice.
Why aren’t they considering the future implications that their political statements could make? How dare they try to have the same memories millions of other people have of their high school proms.
I’m sympathetic to this girl, and I’m sorry that there are some people who view homosexuality as something to be concerned about.
The one thing I do remember about being in high school, was that generally I was not thinking about making a big social impact and blow for human rights. I just wanted to have some fun, and good times.
Does this make shallow and petty? Maybe, but it also makes me likes the millions of other people who just wanted a normal prom.
Yes, it does make them selfish.
So, everyone wants a prom. So does Constance McMillen. And because no one else wants to stand up for her, because of their vital ‘right’ to have a prom like every other American teenager, she doesn’t get one. The actions of those kids who have decided that their own whims are more important than the rights of this girl have specifically denied her from having what they all want so badly.
This, to me, is akin to saying well, as a white person, I like sitting at the front of the bus. And although it’s a shame that black people have to sit at the back, it is every American’s dream to be able to sit at the front of the bus, and if I can, why shouldn’t I?
These kids are furthering discrimination against homosexuals, and for this to be done over something so trivial as a prom disgusts me.
Teenagers acting selfishly and with reckless disregard for one another? Yeah, this is totally a new event.
I’m sorry that Constance doesn’t get a normal prom, but you can’t blame these kids for the actions of the school administrators that started this entire thing.
So instead the school held an “official prom” and the rest of the student body held a prom outside all this drama.
I appreciate the fact that you want every one of these students to have the same moral courage, and views that brave civil rights leaders once did, but all they are is kids.
Some people keep seeming to forget that.
They aren’t 5 year olds. They are old enough to understand the results of their actions.
Regardless of whether many teenagers are selfish, these kids should still be ashamed of themselves. Yes, their administrators are to blame, but they have the opportunity to do something (or, in reality, do nothing, and just not attend a prom which actively violates the rights of one of their own), and have instead decided that their own need to have a party is more important. I don’t care how predictable or common this decision might be; it’s wrong, and they should be condemned for it.
Most teenagers are shallow and petty. And instead of speaking out against their shallow and petty behavior we’re supposed to excuse it? Fuck that. Bad behavior shouldn’t be excused by calling it “normal teenage behavior.”
So there should be a national outrage when a teenager acts crappy to another? Can you give me the names of the students who went to their prom simply because that was where their friends, date, etc would and how many went to just to spite one girl?
I find it far fetched to think an entire class engaged in a massive conspiracy to humiliate one girl.
I am happy for you, WJ, that your life has been such that you find that hard to believe. (Sounds sarcastic of me to say so, but I really am.
In my experience, such behaviour is utterly typical of small towns. For me, the movie “Carrie” was far-fetched only for the telekinesis, not for any of the social dynamics. That all seemed spot-on!
“So there should be a national outrage when a teenager acts crappy to another?”
There should be outrage on some level. Teenagers are half formed people. Their outsides are mostly grown up, but on the inside they still have some work to do.
This trend of excusing the bad behavior of people who are learning to be functioning members of society is atrocious. They aren’t learning how to be adults, they’re learning how to be teenagers forever.
People should be judged based on how they treat other people. Teenagers are not exempt from being decent people who are capable of putting what’s right before their own selfish desires.
With all due respect Brian, your one experience of one small town doesn’t mean you can know the intentions or hearts of every other one.
I come from a small town, and your right in some respects there very close minded. Then again it others there a lot more progressive then some big townees either.
I suppose were just going to have to respectfully disagree about this issue.
To ‘respectfully disagree’ would mean that I, or anyone who has disagreed with you, would allow you to think that your opinion, which is forgiving these teenagers for being spineless, selfish bigots, is somehow worthy of being respected.
And it is not.
The actions of these kids is deplorable, and turning your head because ‘kids will be kids’ is just as reprehensible.
This poor girl is not only being shunned by the administration of her school and her peers, but also by everyone who has decided to excuse her situation.
I try always make sure I’m civil in discourse, and this is definitely needed for online discourse. Your also putting words in my mouth.
I’ve said quite clearly that I disagree with the way the school administration has acted. I do think though, that the majority of the kids don’t really care about the entire thing and just want to get on with their lives.
Their lack of caring might offend you, but that is a far cry from them being bigots. You might agree or disagree, and that is of course your right.
I’m a bit curious though as to what you think every student should do? Protest the administration? Invite this girl to their private prom? Thrown a parade down main street?
To many people are to quick to condemn, and never try to see from another point of view.
You say protest the administration and invite the girl to their prom like it’s an outlandish idea.
I am trying my hardest to remember back to how excited I was about my prom, and I still know that I would not have participated in an event where someone else was maliciously excluded. Because that would have been selfish, and wrong of me. I, personally, would have not only refused to attend, but would have made sure that the administration of my school knew that I was disgusted at their behaviour, and that they in no way represented my interests. To take things one step further, I might have organised a committee to plan and execute an offsite prom, outside of the jurisdiction of the school’s administration. Everyone would have been welcome, and donations from the many people who have spoken out against the treatment of McMillen might have very well ensured that the off-site prom was bigger and better than anything the school could have organised. There are TONS of action these kids could have taken in order to secure McMillen’s rights, but they chose to not even think about it.
The ‘lack of caring’ displayed by the students is very much an act of bigotry. They have actively taken the position that their own desire to have a prom outweighs the rights of privileges of someone who is being persecuted for being different. There are absolutely no excuses for this sort of behaviour. These teenagers are just as bad as the school’s administration that made the decision in the first place, if not worse, for their actions might not even be political in nature, but simply a selfish decision to refuse to miss out on a party.
Engaging Respectful Disagreement procedure…. now.
:)
True, lots of kinds of small towns out there. Clearly I’ve got baggage. But I really don’t find the alternate prom surprizing in the slightest. I find remarkable the lack of overt attacks on the acceptance prom.
To be honest mate I’m not surprised they organized their own little prom either. I can’t say how I would act if this type of attention had been focused on me during high school.
I just wish people would remember what they were like in high school, and see how they would react.
Personally?
I was to much in love with myself and a know it all back then.
By your train of logic, anyone that doesn’t actively take part in answering some problem or social ill is by the very nature a bigot.
I’m disgusted that the fact there are some places where human beings can’t get clean water. That doesn’t meet I’m going to give up drinking fresh water, and demand that everyone else I know do the same.
I’m glad that you were so socially aware as a teenager, but a lot of teenagers aren’t so mature. You paint to much of broad stroke in your condemnation, and I really can’t see how it will help change anybodies mind.
Still to each their own I suppose.
I would like to add that even “socially aware” teenagers can be bigots and total knobheads. My high school classmates were very “socially aware”, involved in the Catalan independence movement, which strives for a socialist republic with social equity and blah blah blah, and they blanked me for the most part of the four years I went to class with them, because even though I kind of agreed with their ideas, I didn’t dress like them, behaved like them or was into the same music they were. So yeah, such more for a “socially inclusive” Catalan republic, eh?
Oddly enough I had that same problem with the geeks. I played pc games and console games… they looked down on me for playing pc games.
Bloody game purists.
I do agree though that a lot of people in high school want to belong to some group or another. We all want to feel that connection.
Being alone sucks.
Exactly. It sucks, but most of us are (were) willing to sacrifice a bit of who we are to feel included.
No, these kids are not being passive about their disregard for the welfare of another. They are actively deciding to go to this exclusive prom at the expense of another. This would be more akin to going to a drought ridden country, and then having a party under sprinklers while they watched on.
No, many of these kids are not like I was when I was young. But they will never be urged to be any different if no one speaks out against their actions.
Just because that’s the way it is doesn’t mean that’s the way it has to be. If you think what happened to Constance McMillen is wrong, then you should stand up and say something about it.
There is a big difference between saying that something is wrong, and condemning an entire group as a bunch of bigots.
It’s obvious we won’t agree wicked so I thank you for the debate, and wish you well.
Truth be told, most adults are like that. Very few people want to be lone wolfs.
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