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Aww, sookie sookie. In light of the recent kerfuffle with Sandra Bullock and her now-estranged husband, Jesse James, I thought I’d find the most asinine story regarding males cheating on females, just for you. Don’t say I never did anything nice for you.
After much research, Esquire’s list tops the charts on the ridick-o-meter with their vapid reasoning, stereotypical responses and faux-analytical reasoning. In short, I absolutely love it in the same way that I love when I burp and the acidic bile backs up in my throat, causing me to squinch my eyes half-closed and cough like a 90 year-old man on his deathbed. Kind of like that.
Ahem .. Without further adieu, the “high” points of the rationale behind a self-proclaimed cheater:
- Because he can and nothing stops a man from doing what he wants to do. Even marital vows.
- Because he needs to. You’re just that shitty.
- Because it makes him forget the more “mundane” aspects of his life, like, you know, jobs, wives and children.
- Because it’s “who” he “is.”
- Because “fated love is a lie and monogamous love a deception.” … Right?
- Because it is a test and the subsequent at-home performance is a testament to manly-men. [Fuck, he said it, not me.]
- Because a real man would never brag in a “house-proud dipshit” way. I know that I think there’s nothing less attractive about a man than his vociferous claims of domestic bliss.
- Because an affair is an accomplishment. Just ask Tiger. Forty times.
- Because it’s fun in that robbing-a-bank kind of way.
Whoa. If I were to say that I was completely unabashed, I’d be completely lying. I always knew that men — or women — who cheated were the most selfish, self-absorbed people on the planet, but I had no clue that it went this deep, no pun intended.
I’ve only given a brief synopsis as to “Why Men Cheat”, but you absolutely have to — if you haven’t already — go and read the article. While the anonymous author is a well-written exploiter of sensical word, it’s almost amazing that someone with an apparent amount of intellect could really delude himself into thinking that the things that he’s saying are a genuine, deep-seated pronunciation of self-satisfied glee. But then again, I guess that’s what you get when you mince words — and ideas — with someone who couldn’t be faithful to a pair of socks.
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Men cheat because fucking feels good. Some people just think if something feels good, do more of it. They don’t care too much about how other people would feel about it unless they get unpleasant reactions from the other people. Cheating men seem to think they are clever enough to do the extra fucking without anyone who could make their lives unpleasant finding out. Therefore they do it. End discussion.
Uh, I think fucking feels good, too. In fact, I like it more than my boyfriend does. Yet–strange, I know–I don’t really want to cheat. At all.
I tried to read the article, I really did. It was just so full of self-righteous bullshit that I couldn’t finish it.
[...] Why Men Cheat: Esquire Edition – Zelda Lily [...]
Women marry men hoping they’ll change,and they never do,men marry women hoping they’ll never change,and they always do.
Erm… my ex is cheating on his current girlfriend with me (long story) and he couldn’t be any more miserable, even though he says it’s not “cheating” because it’s not sexual (we live in different countries atm), so I’m not sure it’s because it feels good, at least not in this particular case.
Why are you doing that?
I could answer to that question with many different answers, but to be perfectly honest I don’t know, I guess I still have feelings for him and I know he still loves me me, I like the attention he gives me, I believe in second chances and I’m afraid I’ll die alone. Oh I found out the four main answers. There. I guess. They could change tomorrow, that’s how complicated it is.
Dear God,
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOu for my amazing, non-cheating fiance. That is all.
Amen.
I think the whole reason, for those that aren’t just in love with themselves, is simple;
“opportunity and unhappiness”
http://www.realsexedfacts.com/why-people-cheat.html
I cheated on previous partners because a) the partners did not give me enough attention and b) I was attractive and the pickings were good. But it always felt horrible and empty. I love that my marriage is pure, and if could take back previous infidelieties I would.
[...] Esquire magazine writes about “why men cheat” [...]
men cheat because they can, they are opportunies and if they are rich they have many more of those. ofcoarce they never think they be caught !
It’s “ado” not “adieu”.
Love the site.
Thanks for pointing that out, I also thought about it but didn’t want to be the one who said it :D
Since we’re all nitpicking here, your periods are supposed to go on the inside of your quotation marks.
Ready?
It’s “ado” not “adieu”.
Should be:
It’s “ado” not “adieu.”
hahaha no its NOT. at least not in my university
Unless your university is outside of the USA, then YES, they do.
I’m not certain of other countries.
Yes it is. I do Translating and Interpreting studies, majoring in English, and yes, full stops come before quotation marks. Anyway, check this – http://www.grammarbook.com/.
You might consider switching to a different school where proper grammar is required. Once you’re out in the real world employers are going to expect things like proper use of quotation marks, capitalization, and periods on the end of your sentences.
If you are quoting a sentence in its entirety then the sentence must be within quotation marks in its entirety, including punctuation. If you are quoting a part of a sentence, for example a word of phrase, then you quote like this:
“horses”
“….horses, donkeys and mules….”
you only need the dots with punctuation within the quote.
It is definitely supposed to be that way, but it’s logically incorrect, so I support people who refuse.
Anyone who has done any computer programming will understand why it is such an awful grammar rule.
Oppose the tyranny of illogical grammar!
NEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
People(not just men) that cheat are just selfish. They care can’t see past themselves and their needs to even consider the feelings and needs of others.
God, I just hope for one thing for the author of that article:
AIDS
Why? So that they can give it to their commited partner and the people they are cheating on and the people they are cheating ons commited partners and their children can be born with it and so on?…
Whatever they want to call it.
Cheating comes from a lack of or waning empathy for their partners.
If you have a problem with your relationship either talk about it and try to fix it or leave.
Women are just as capable of cheating as men.
[...] Esquire magazine writes about “why men cheat” [...]
To anyone who appreciates, respects and desires a life-long lasting love with one person possibly tied to the bonds of marriage this article can only exist as opposition. For such a person, there is no rational explanation for cheating so all explanations, regardless of reasoning are deemed ridiculous.
For those not so unified with those with dream of a life-long monogomous relationship, we can look around and see that chances of being in such a relationship are reduced to that of a coin toss.
People cheat. It’s a fact. It’s a gamble. Gambling is fun. Winning is fun. Losing isn’t. But, life is a casino and one of the biggest and most popular tables presents the fulfillment of significant others and significant anothers as an offering. There are droves of people playing this game. Whether you deem the reasons ridiculous or not, you must recognize that some reason has to exist.
[...] why people claim to cheat, including boredom, because they don’t love their spouse anymore, because they “can,” and because some don’t feel that they fit the mold for monogamous fidelity. However, new [...]