Should Twelve Year-Olds Be Having Sex … Like, Really?

Have you heard of the Hotshot?  I hadn’t until just today.  Evidently, the Hotshot is an “extra-small” condom specially designed for twelve year-old boys. Or men with extremely small penises, I guess.  The latter isn’t nearly as bad as the former but I guess both are equally devastating in different cases. I’m kidding, I’m kidding.  Some men just have inexcusably small penises and for that, we cannot judge.

I digress.

The Swiss company known as Lamprecht AG collaborated with Switzerland’s government to address a startling epidemic: twelve to fourteen year-old boys are having sex and aren’t using protection.

Switzerland, incidentally, has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in Europe and previous attempts to spread awareness about protected sex have fallen upon many deaf ears.

I’m so completely torn by this.  I am most assuredly of the mindset that children will have sex and it’s best to educate them to protect themselves and others, but twelve years old?  Where has the innocence gone?  I commend the Swiss government for taking such necessary steps in preserving the welfare of these young children but it’s positively alarming that a “normal” age for children to be having sex in this day and age is twelve.

Do you remember what you were doing at twelve years old?  I do.  I was reading Babysitters Club books and climbing trees and occasionally playing dress up at my Nana’s house.  I was going to baseball games and wearing an ugly one-piece bathing suit to jump off the docks into the lake.  I was still holding my parents’ hands in public (not because I was forced to; because I wanted to).  I was having “movie marathons” with my younger brother and pigging out on popcorn and Mountain Dew on Friday nights.

It’s a grand thing that government and private entities alike are preparing children (children!) for the real world and offering them the ammunition that will enable them to make the best decisions that the circumstance calls for, but goddamn.

Where has the innocence gone?

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107 thoughts on “Should Twelve Year-Olds Be Having Sex … Like, Really?

  1. Handing out condoms to high schoolers is one thing but at twelve I plan on telling my children that they are simply NOT ALLOWED to have sex. Nor will they be allowed to be alone with boys/girls unsupervised because they are still children.

    I fully expect a high schooler to sneak around and lie about their whereabouts to their parents because we all did that…but twelve yr olds are completely reliant on adults for even their basic needs and until that changes I plan on treating it as I would stealing, drinking, etc. 100% off-limits.

    • “but at twelve I plan on telling my children that they are simply NOT ALLOWED to have sex.”

      Good luck with that. Not that I think 12 year olds should be having sex, but good luck telling any kid who’s determined to have sex that they are “not allowed” to.

    • simply telling your 12 year old that they arent ALLOWED to have sex isnt going to keep them from having sex. Having an open communication with them and explaining to them why they should not be having sex may be more effective than strictly prohibiting them from it. Adolescents rebel when they are told what to do and not to do.

  2. Twelve years old… is disgusting.
    Previous person’s comment: Absolutely, condoms should be handed out in high schools. I’ve known of more than several girls in my high school who became pregnant during that time.
    But 12?! I mean, I knew a lot about sex when I was twelve, but actually having sex never came to mind. Also, the opportunity never came… my first kiss was at 17, so go figure.

  3. This actually really distresses me. 12? Really? I can’t imagine having sex at 12. Admittedly, I was a bit of a late bloomer and didn’t have sex until I was 18, so maybe that’s why I view sex as something adult(ish) people do. A 12-year-old should be swooning over Orlando Bloom (like I was…), not wanting to try reverse cowgirl with him. Hell, I hope my 17-year old sister hasn’t had sex yet, but that’s mostly because I hate the people she hangs out with, I suppose.

    • I don’t consider 18 to be late blooming at all. You’re not a late bloomer until about 25 or so in my book. Anyone younger than 18 is probably doing it a bit early for me but I have this crazy idea that you should be old enough to deal with consequences like babies if you’re going to do the deed.

      I would quite like to believe that my sister is a virgin too or rather that she’d only slept with one guy (she was engaged and living with her fiance for a short time) but for some unknown reason she told me her magic number. It’s not one, nothing close. Really kinda wish I didn’t know that.

  4. They shouldn’t be, but they are. Innocence is dead.

    I was twelve only four years ago, I must say sex with real people never crossed my mind. I did know it existed, and I had Internet.. so I was rather knowledgeable on the subject, but I was also pretty behind every other whore in my grade, so I never fell into that whole hype. It was all just above my head. Now looking back on it, I’m pretty sure a few were doing the dirty in early middle school.

    Every year Freshman girls are wearing less and less, becoming more and more promiscuous. I can’t imagine how common sexual activity at that age must have become in these few years.

    Considering how stupid and naive and young they are, I’d really prefer them not be mothers and fathers.

    • Yes they are/we were stupid, nieve, and young… But they don’t have to be the first two things! This is why comprehensive sex ed should be in high schools and should be available in middle schools. 4th and 5th graders should learn the process of a baby being conceived, developed and born, as well as the changes that each sex goes through during puberty and why.

      • I think we should have more education, but at some point it stops being the school’s responsibility. Children know the basics, sex can equal babies, and that isn’t enough to stop them. This article is proof that some children out there simply aren’t getting it.

        Decisions are made from sort of a combination of parenting, school, peers, and personal experiences. I think some, or maybe all of these are lacking nowadays. :(

  5. I think its a hormone thing – I got my period when i was ten (and before we all leap to blame food and contamination and growth hormones I was an raised in an organic only vegetatian household which drank tank water) and I was very interested in sexuality. I don’t know if it was a product of being raped at seven by my cousin or simply that I have always had a high sex drive, but I used to talk about sex, think about sex, initiate mild sexual conduct with both genders (kissing, hair stroking, nothing much) and I gave my first blowjob at 12.

    But I knew about babies so there weren’t nothing getting in my pristine panties!

    I dont think that myself at twelve, an old hand at menstruation with an impressive rack and a braincell or two to rub together, or any similarly precocious girls should have to be frustrated.

    • I was 12 when I first decided I was going to have sex as soon as I possibly could. I lost my virginity on the way home from school at the age of 14.
      Told my parents I had detention and went to a friend’s house and had sex with my boyfriend. The boyfriend I wasn’t allowed to have.

    • I probably would have had sex at 12 if anyone had been willing. I read very adult books from a young age and started masturbating at age 7, and I thought I knew what it was all about. I couldn’t wait to have sex. And yet even when I lost my virginity at age 16 I wasn’t prepared for the emotional consequences, nor did I use protection (even though I knew I should have) because I was too shy to ask the guy to put a condom on. Age and knowledge have nothing to do with sexual maturity.

      • My story is pretty much the same, until right after “I couldn’t wait to have sex.” I lost my Official Virginity a week before my fifteenth birthday (had been sexually active for about a month and a half before that)…And it has never hurt me. (Emotionally. Boy howdy, did it hurt physically. He had a very thick penis…)
        The only problem I’ve come across is that with my first real boyfriend, he refused to tell me if he was a virgin before me, and it made me quite upset…But that’s definitely a problem with communication/our relationship, not with sex.

        Just sharing my story I guess.

        • I never had any emotional issues about it either. I’ve always been able to separate sex and emotion. I enjoy healthy sexual/emotional relationships more than casual hook ups, but casual doesn’t hurt me in any way.

        • Yeah, it was mainly just my “first” who gave me emotional trouble, because he was really religious and had a lot of guilt after we had sex and started to hate me, which was devastating because I really liked him. There was a guy after that whom I had no problem fucking with no strings attached! And then there was my husband…

        • im 12 and me and my bf av wanted to have sex 4 a while we both like the thought of having children at a early age obviously not now.weve been going out wid each other for 2 years and are always kissing .i love the thought of having a baby in my belly and i would love to have 1 in the next 3 years we both would but does anyone else have any suggestions cause i no im still dead not bovered bout the cryin and all im used to that at home with a 1 yr old sis in ma bed room am always up wid her but its not like im ded bed at home or a school people cause me names cause im soo gud so im not sum kind of slut or slag and wateva xxx so let me no if people think out interesting .xx

        • Well, first you should learn how to spell. You’ll need a job if you want to raise a baby and nobody is going to even look at your job application if this is how you spell. Finish high school.
          Every reason you gave for wanting a baby is a selfish one. Parenthood isn’t about being selfish and it’s not about whether or not you can handle a baby crying. Crying babies are the least of your parenting concerns. Children are only babies for a little while. They become people very quickly. Stop thinking about pregnancy and babies and start thinking about whether or not you’re capable of being responsible for a person.

        • Did gigi’s post terrify anyone else?

          1. Babies aren’t fun. They’re work.

          2. Spelling, spelling, spelling.

          3. I can’t think of anyone who has gotten knocked up at 15 and ended up happy/successful in life.

          4. You started dating when you were 10?

    • hi me again im sorry to anyone who critized my spelling i was in a rush and was text writing i do apologize… i would like to let you no that lately i missed a period and thought maybe i was pregnant and i now know i am me and my boy friend both agree that we will keep the baby and we also went to meetings with other young mum and dads who are also conserned about their birth age and we are frineds and are in contact with them for suport ….. with the help of our parents and family we are going to raise this child as well as we can i will do everything in my power to make sure this baby gets a good up bringing ..i will go to school 5 days a week as usual but i will be only doing half a day on wednesdays and fridays because i have p.e on them days so they are my least important lessons we are the baby dad (my bf) is doing the same but is having monday and thursday afternoons we have checked this with the school and it is fine … we will still be spending most our time with the baby…i am worried about the birth of the baby incase there is any complications…..i do wish i could have had the baby later than i am but i am not ashamed to be carring a baby i love it i dont care what people call me,me and the babys are proud to be having a baby and we always will be ……. any more coments please give me your opion

      love GiGi x

        • Disclaimer: Ok. I’m just going to go ahead and throw my bitch filter out the window, so be a tad forewarned.

          That’s really special and all that you love your child. You are also a child. One child should not be creating another. You have some pretty damn twisted ideas about how happy and fuzzy your future family will be. You won’t be able to work until you are about 16 (aka, four years from now), you will become an immense burden on your family, and I highly doubt your 12-year-old boyfriend will think babies are fun for more than a couple of years. Although I was not mature enough for sex at 12, maybe you are. But you have been completely irresponsible with your sexual protection, and now you will be stuck with a child for LONGER THAN YOU HAVE BEEN ALIVE. Am I judging your choices without meeting you? Absolutely. But I really doubt anyone in your life has told you that you need to get over that rosy view you have of your life.

        • i understand completly why you are saying this and i respect your view and most of which i agree with i know i will be a burden and i undertand that i will not be able to amagine the difficulty of raising a child untill he i there before my eyes. (its a boy we found out around 2 week ago !)Whilst i also agree on the fact that my boyfriend may not want anything to do with the baby when it is born but he has stane with me so far so all i can do is hope and believe he will stay with us xxx Any more comments pleae give me your opinion x

      • This is a very late comment, but I have to call ‘troll’ on Gigi’s post. Between March and April she skips a period and finds out the gender? Not likely.

        The only validity of the post appears to be her illiteracy.

  6. 12-year-olds should aboslutely not be having sex. But then again I’m a total prude on this subject in that I don’t think ANYONE should be having sex until they are legally an adult. But that’s just me.

    • legally? Is that 18, or 21? Or 19? What does legally have to do with it? Do you magically become mature enough on your birthday? Are Canadians mature enough for sex earlier than Americans, since we are legally adults younger?

      • im 9 years old and ive hit puperty i mastervate almost evrey day and i relly want to have a son but the bad part is i dont even have a girlfriend. thats just plane sad guys i think evry one should be aloud to have sex.

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  8. I was 12 not so long ago (5 years ago), and I never didn’t even think about having sex, neither did my friends. We knew it existed, and we knew pretty much about it, but I’m sure as hell that we never even imagined that we could be actually having sex at that age, we used to think of sex as something adults do. We were still kids who used to think we were old enough already to have a boyfriend/girlfriend, wich just consisted on sending a lot of cheesy texts to each other all the time and some ocasional “dates” to the movies with all our friends.

    I’m 17 now and I still don’t think I’m ready for sex yet. Yes, a few people that I know of have had sex, but that’s it. I’m not ready for that and I am completely sure that’s not going to change anytime soon. I don’t believe in waiting until marriage, but I do believe in expecting until you are mature enough to do it and be aware of everything sex involves.

    I will have sex when I find someone I feel THAT comfortable with, when I feel I want to do it because I’m ready. Society is not going to make me change my mind a bit.

    And no, 12-year-old should NOT be having sex. Period. That shouldn’t even be talked about.

  9. I don’t think this discussion should be about whether 12 year olds should be having sex. Of course they shouldn’t. It’s doubtful anyone that young is capable of making a truly informed decision – as we all know!
    But they are having sex, and they are surely just as at risk of STI’s and pregnancy as someone who is considered ‘old enough’ to make the decision to consummate a relationship.
    There should therefore be somewhere they can get protection that will actually work!

    Cliffnotes: If they are going to be having sex, it should at least be safe sex!

    • But what about the argument that giving kids condoms encourages them to have sex? I don’t agree with it when it comes to older teens but I think it makes some sense here. The majority of 12 year old kids are not going to be considering having sex at all but I’m quite sure that would change if someone handed them a condom. If we’re going to argue that 12 year old kids aren’t mature enough to make the decision to have sex then I think we also need to consider them immature enough to think that it’s OK since an adult gave them the protection.

      • But the point is that there are already a high number of 12 year olds having sex in Switzerland. The teenage pregnancy rate is high. Therefore, they need protection.
        It’s not like there were no younger teens having sex and somebody decided to market condoms towards them anyway.

  10. Hi,

    I am 18 years old, and I can say this absolutely disgusts me. 12 year olds shouldn’t have sex, or even engage in sexual activities. It’s just too young, people have a full life ahead of them to be able to have and enjoy sex, there just needs to be a period of innocence. When I was 12 years old (which was only 6 years ago), sure, we all started having sexual feelings, and I won’t deny it, I did too. Many of us, including me, had our “fantasies.” I personally don’t see any harm in having sexual feelings at 12 years old. Its just the process of life. But at that age, nobody had sex– We wern’t even physically able to perform that act in the first place! Now, I don’t live in Switzerland, so the circumstances might be different there. Nevertheless, I feel the government took too big of a step in handing out condoms to 12 year olds. If you really think about it, it’s the parent’s fault. How is this the case? Think back to when you were a young teenager. Do you think you would’ve been a virgin still at that age if your parents never supervised you and imposed morals and values upon yourselves? I think not.

    • “I personally don’t see any harm in having sexual feelings at 12 years old.”

      *whew* It sure is a good thing you don’t see in any harm in human beings having normal biological functions. What would we all have done if you thought that was bad?

      I’m usually the first one to blame parents when kids are out of hand. But in this case, I can assure you that parental guidance has very little to do with when a kid starts having sex. I had the strictest, most lecturing parents around and I managed to lose my virginity on the way home from school when I was 14. Woulda done it sooner, but there was nobody my age who was ready.

      They didn’t start making smaller condoms because “a couple of 12 year olds” were having sex. They started in response to a growing number of young teenage pregnancies.

      • Hey Alzaetia,

        This is where the opposite effect occurs. If a parent is overtly strict and lecturing, in a psychological way that might not even be noticeable to the individual, they might have just as much of an urge to have sex and try to loose it… Almost as much as somebody with no supervision or guidance. And now, you just quoted yourself, “Woulda done it sooner, but there was nobody my age who was ready.” That alone shows you that there weren’t any kids under 13 or 14 having sex, and even at 13 or 14, there probably weren’t many at all anyway.

        Also, if you look at the statistics (And the statistics are what the government goes by), they are LOW. For the 15-19 year old cohort in Switzerland, there are 4.3 per 1,000 individuals are afflicted with Teenage Pregnancy. The numbers are certainly lower for the 12-14 year old cohort. In the US on the other-hand, 41.8 per 1,000 individuals in the 15-19 year old cohort are afflicted with Teenage Pregnancy. The 12-14 year old cohort in the US for Teenage Pregnancy is the same as the 15-19 year old cohort in Switzerland.

        • It doesn’t show that there weren’t “any” other kids my age ready to have sex, just the few I was allowed to hang out with. Also, I was driven to school and my opportunities were few.
          I didn’t want to have sex because of the strictness of my parents. I wanted to have sex because I matured sexually at a young age.
          My point was that if young teens are having sex, it’s not because the parents aren’t trying to stop them.

          Your entire argument is based on the notion that kids who aren’t ready to have sex will begin having sex if they are given condoms that fit them. That is ridiculous.

      • By the way Alzaetia,

        You would be very surprised to know how many people even oppose of 12 year olds having sexual feelings (But of course they are hypocrites).

      • You do realize that you aren’t exactly the norm if you matured early, everybody has different reasons. You can’t judge everything based on one, or even a few people. You have to look at the entire population. And no, everybody is different, thus, many of these cases don’t blame parents. But, there are many that do. Enough with read my post below on the actual statistics in Switzerland, and tell me if that’s alot of kids getting pregnant or not.

        • Marcus, you aren’t making a lot of sense here.

          Humans are sexual beings. This is a proven fact. Any doctor will tell you that it is well documented that fetuses masturbate in the womb.

          Guess what? They don’t stop masturbating or pursuing some kind of sexual pleasure till they die.

          This whole sanitization of the human race as sexual beings is amusing, yet frightening.

          Sex feels GOOD.
          Now – say that 50 times, write it 100 times. Let it sink in.

        • Look who’s talking, you are pretty much totally irrelevant to this discussion.

          I am not stupid, of course we are sexual beings, we all are. But, even you could at least admit that you would rather that your 13 year old daughter be chaste and innocent rather than sleeping with some 18 year old boy, wouldn’t you?

          It’s not like kids have run amok and half of 13 year olds aren’t virgins. In fact, only 5% of 13 year olds aren’t virgins. DOES THAT SEEM LIKE ALOT TO YOU? DOESN’T THAT SEEM FIXABLE WITHOUT THE USAGE OF HANDING OUT CONDOMS TO YOUNG KIDS??? JUST LET THOSE KIDS LIVE THEIR CONSEQUENCE AND MAKE SURE THAT PARENTS DO THEIR JOB AS A PARENT- BEING ONE.

          Of course we are sexual beings, of course 13 year olds will get the urge to have sex. Does it mean it’s necessary to act out upon those urges? HELL NO!!!! At that age, private masturbation should be the only sexual thing they are acting out upon. If you were the parent of a kid, wouldn’t you agree?

        • Calling me irrelevant is rather foolish, isn’t it?

          I do happen to have daughters – 3 of them, in fact. I have 5 kids total. I would have to say that the proof is in the results. All of my kids have grown up to be healthy, well-adjusted, successful people.

          You can stick your head in the sand, you can make all of the declarations of what YOU think is right – it isn’t going to change anything.

          “Chaste and pure”? I don’t see you using that particular phrase in regards to sons – only daughters.

          Finally, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE – if you are going to cite statistics – include a link to back it up. The American Family Institute, Catholic Fathers Association, and The National Enquirer are absolutely NOT considered to be valid or respectable sources.

          Thank you for your cooperation.

        • On second thought – whatever, Marcus.

          I have come to realize that you are one of those people who has firmly shut the door of their mind on any point of view but their own.

          I’m not going to argue with you, it is pointless to light a candle in a room devoid of oxygen.

      • Also Alzaetia,

        There isn’t such thing as a 14 year old who is “ready” to have sex. There are only ones that “want” to have sex, or think that they’re ready.

        Tell me, do you ever regret loosing your virginity to somebody in just a casual hookup? Wouldn’t you rather have at least lost it to somebody you really cared about? Do you really think it’s the smartest decision to have sex at such a young age?

        And yes, as a matter of fact I do think more kids will have sex if they have access to condoms that fit them.

        • I was ready. It wasn’t casual. It was a relationship. I have never regretted losing my virginity when and how I did.

        • And for some other people at whatever age, someone they care about still doesn’t matter.
          I know a few people who had random sex for their first time and have no regrets about it. They just didn’t put all that much stock in virginity.
          And I know girls who later regretted sex within a relationship, and girls who did have sex young and regret it.
          People are all different. Your experience and my experience may not be someone else’s.

        • I agree with you, Kai. Everybody is different, that is very true. Alzaetia, you are only going by the notion of how you felt. Obviously, not everybody is you.

          Besides, how old are you?

        • I was responding to your statement:
          “There isn’t such thing as a 14 year old who is “ready” to have sex.”
          That was incorrect. If you’d said, “Most 14 year olds aren’t ready” I wouldn’t have replied the way I did.
          By the way, I’m not the only person who had sex at a young age and wasn’t affected negatively by it. But it’s not a matter of how many are or aren’t. You said there was no such thing, I corrected you.
          I’m 35. I think I’ve had time to consider whether or not having sex at a young age damaged me. It didn’t.

        • No I never said you weren’t the only person, I’m just saying that going by your own accounts to judge everything about this situation is not exactly the best way, because everybody is different.

          Oh, and sorry, I didn’t realize you were an adult….

          Well no, yes in retrospect your right, because there are some 14 year olds that are “ready” but most aren’t. But, let me tell you this– Those kids that are “ready” most likely act out upon it, thus stating that some have “had sex” and most “haven’t had sex.”

  11. Because of this, I believe that there are other actions that need to be performed. It is most likely the parent’s fault, thus, it is probably a good thing if there were to be some lectures and tips and books for parents about the issue, and how to prevent it, NOT just dropping the ball and saying, “Ok, a few 12 year olds are having sex, let’s start making condoms for them!” That should be a last resort, and obviously, there wern’t any steps taken before that action.

    All handing out condoms will do is encourage more kids to have sex… Hey, if the government says it’s ok, then OF COURSE kids will think it’s ok! Not only that, but the few 12 year olds that are having sex probably don’t look or act anything like 12 year olds in the first place, so they won’t need “extra small” condoms. It will just encourage ALL THE OTHER 12 year olds to do it.

  12. The US used to have even higher rates of Teenage Pregnancy and Teenage sex. In the 1990′s, the average age to have your first intercourse was 16.3 years old. Now, it is 17.4 years old. Were we handing out condoms to 12-14 year old? NO. We were simply promoting more sex education, and other such services. And slowly, but surely it worked, and it still is. The results are even more staggering for 15 year olds, for in 1987, 26% have had intercourse, but in 2002, only 14%. Again, were we handing out condoms to 12-14 year olds? NO.

    If you look at the news stories, there really has only been a small percentage of teens that young having sex and getting pregnant in Switzerland.

    All the government is doing is trying to find the easy way out of this problem. And sure enough, handing out condoms to 12-14 year old kids is the easy way out. But, by no means, is it right. It will just encourage more and more teen sex. Check back in a few years, and the numbers will skyrocket.

    Besides, condoms tear. Pills can be defective. And if somebody is stupid enough to make a choice to have sex at that age well… Let them live up to their consequences.

  13. This is hysterical!

    If I had left the decision on when I was old enough to have sex to my parents – I’d still be a virgin.

    And I’m 50.

    Face it, kids have sex. You truly have no control over this.

    What you CAN do?

    Hide your head in the sand, pretend it doesn’t happen and learn to enjoy that grandchild your 13 year old hands you.

    It’s going to be a long 18 to 20 years ahead.

    • Im not stupid, and I am not saying it doesn’t happen… Of course kids have sex, but the amount of kids really isn’t as bad as it is made out to be. It’s not like 1 out of every 3 fourteen year olds are having sex like some news stories say it’s like….

      For example, the amount of 12-14 year olds ACTUALLY HAVING SEX AND HAVING BABIES in Switzerland is not enough of a problem in which they need to be handing out condoms to kids.

      That’s all I’m simply saying. It’s not enough of a problem yet to be doing that. Handing out condoms to 17 year olds is one thing, because it is enough of a problem with kids of that age to be doing that….

      That’s all.

    • And by the way, the “Chaste and Pure” was only an example, of course I feel that should be the case for both sexes of that age. I am by no means sexist.

  14. You really think I would get statistics from the National Enquirer? How stupid do you take me for? I get these from the CDC, and from various researchers and scientists, not from religious sites or National Enquirer, or even regular news stories for the matter.

    News stories always make things sound worse than they really are. Im not sticking my head in the sand. Obviously your viewpoints are different from mine as well, and you can’t be swayed. How does that make you different from me? We just have different views, except I have research, evidence, and talking to kids at school to back it up. Of course its happening, and it could happen to anybody. But I really just don’t see how they would give condoms to 12 year olds in Switzerland. They don’t do that to the US, and pregnancy rates here are skyrocketing compared to other countries. Doesn’t that at least make sense to you? Because that’s basically my point.

  15. Well, here’s my point– The amount of kids that have had sex at that age isn’t much different than what it was in the 1980′s-1990′s (Only about 5%), yet we instantly decide to give kids condoms rather than using that as a last resort. Now, if the statistics were, for example, a 20% rise, that would be a much different story. But, it isn’t– 20% of kids of that age aren’t even sexually experienced in the first place, it’s more like 5-10%! Now, does that sound like we need to use “last resort” techniques for kids of that age? For 17 year olds, yes, 12-14 year olds, NO! Now, when the amount of 12-14 year olds having sex reaches 20 or 30 percent, then we can hand out condoms. But, for now, let’s keep those “Hotshots” in the factory and out of a kids hands, and work on alternative methods to at least maintain the numbers now.

    • Marcus, there isn’t a magical number at which every adolescent suddenly reaches sexual maturity. It’s a range. The low part of the range is around 13. The high part is around 18. Most fall in the middle, but that doesn’t mean the outliers should be ignored or considered freaks. Many people who have sex before they are 18 are quite happy about it and suffered no ill effects. I started when I was 15. Thanks to my excellent sex education which started at age 10 (the year before I got my period), we used condoms and I was on the pill. It was a great experience, and part of a two year relationship. I’m glad I chose that time to lose my virginity, and it’s a fond memory. I am a sexually well-rounded person now. Who am I to say that someone just a year younger couldn’t have the same experience? Don’t you think it would be worse for a 13 year old girl to be totally clueless? To just sit there as her equally young boyfriend gets ideas in his head to try things he’s heard about and she goes along with it because she has no idea what’s happening? And then gets pregnant? I’d rather she be prepared, know what’s going on and how to protect herself. And even better, to have enough information that she can make up her own mind so she can be an active participant or say no and refuse to participate. So she’s in charge of her own body.

  16. Okay so I’m 17 and I had my first kiss and 12 but sex rly????? Me and my bf have thought about it !!! Well u c I we were comeing home from iron man 2 and ne one was home my parents must have went out so we went upstaries and were just hanging out and started kissing and then he took of his shirt and I took my shirt off and then we stoped and he text me yesterday saying we r gonna do it tonight and we did it it hurt but was it awesome? Hell ya I mean it was awesome I don’t think I’m too young does anyone disagree???

  17. By the age of 17, many kids have experienced intercourse (In the USA, around 40-50% of them). In a sense, 17 isn’t too young for the fact that it is much more common than having intercourse as a young teenager (12-15), and that having intercourse at that age has been common since the definition of “Teenager” was thrown around in the 1940′s…. Something that has been common for such a long time is pretty much expected. Nevertheless, the other 50-60% are still virgins. At age 17, I really think it depends on your maturity level, and how deeply in love you really are for somebody.

    As in your case, Lexi, ask yourself a few questions-
    1. Were you doubting whether or not you really were ready for sex?
    2. Have you dated your partner long enough to know you really love him?
    3. Do you think you will be regretting this experience in the future?
    4. Did you use birth-control?
    5. Did your boyfriend care for your needs as well?

    If you answered “no” to 2 of these questions, you are not ready for intercourse.

    • Oh, I’m sorry Blurry, I worded things wrong alittle there. If you put “no” to #3, then that’s good. My apologies,

      About birth-control… That only is specific to people who do not want children.

      And #1, same thing. If you replied “yes” to #1, then that’s not good, but replying “no” is ok.

      My apologies, if you answer “YES” to 2 or more questions, then you aren’t ready for sex.

  18. Just wanted to say to all the older folks who are being AR about the spelling of the younger people posting here.

    The texting phenomenon has caused a huge digital divide between the “pre-texing” and “post-texting” generation. There are young people who spend all day using text messaging between each other, and they read and understand “textese” with no problems at all. Textese is probably going to shift the English language in a big way as these people come into their own.

    Please also remember that many of these young folks are posting from their phones, and textese is so much easier to use from a phone.

    and please, please, please stop insulting the kids! They’re coming here to talk over their opinions and what’s happening 2 them, and i wish every1 would make them feel welcome, and maybe, encourage positive directions rather than talk down 2 them

    tok 2 U l8r

    • I can understand what is being said just fine. When I can be bothered to read it, which is not that often.
      What kid still has a phone without a full keyboard? Particularly if they are browsing the internet on it?
      It’s not difficult to use full words. It may be passable in a quick text message to a friend, but discourse here has a slightly higher standard.
      There is a pretty large mix of ages on this site, and no-one is saying a younger person couldn’t join in.
      But if you want to play with the adults, you have to act like one. And that includes typing English. Otherwise, go back to the kiddie table.

  19. Where has innocence gone?
    How dare you ask that question. You people killed innocence when you accepted sex before marriage. Now how much is ‘before’ people (even children) will pull it as much as they can.
    There is no LIMIT to age for sex now. How dare you… ask that question when you yourself killed it.

    • Yes, there is most certainly a limit. It’s the age at which a person has reached physical sexual maturity and emotional maturity coupled with adequate information about the biological functions of the human body. It is different for every person. I’m not really sure what innocence has to do with anyone. You’re not particularly innocent past age 10. You’re certainly not innocent by the time you hit puberty. If you don’t know about sex by then, you’re not innocent; you’re ignorant. And ignorance begets babies.

  20. I am 12 years old. My birthday is late so I am about to start 7th grade. I still wear twinkle toes to school! Even though I am made fun of but I don’t care! I hold my moms hand in public, but not around my friends. Simply because Im saving myself from any type of bullying. But, sex at twelve? Some girls and boys are just developing their body parts. Like me. I have a body of a 10 year old. Some of these girls have more boobs than my mom at this age. I personally think its the hormones in the food we are eating nowadays… Boys are becoming more like dogs and gangstas than young gentlemen. I have been told to my face on numerous occassions that they would date me but I don’t have any boobs or butt. Not that I ask. So, these girls are going around saying they are fine and everything. I look at them like, ok yea whatever. I am not really worried about all of that nonsense now. My chest is the size of little knots and I am proud of it. Also, my butt is as flat as I don’t know what. But the good thing is that it keeps the pedophiles away (most of them) and it keeps the boys that are dogs away. I would rather have a boyfriend that enjoys my looks ( I am talking about my face) and my personality. Not my private areas. My mom told me I can date in the 8th grade, and I am mature enough to wait. I am not some boy crazy pre-teen who can’t wait to have sex. I want to have a boyfriend that is eager to wait until I enter the 8th grade to ask me out. I have gone out with 1 boy, and now I see his true colours. I recognize that i went out with him out of peer pressure. These young boys at my school go around juding girls and saying how big their “stuff” is. Then they have the nerve to tell me. Im like” And? You still ain’t getting none of this. This is my property so go on to the next one because I am not here for the BS.” Now there are a few boys that say: “Cydnee you are fine”. But I still turn them down. These 12 year olds these days are a trip…. Do they not watch 16 and pregnant? Or teen mom? I wish I would. My mom would bust a cap in my behind (not really). This is coming from a public school. I used to go to a charter school until we moved. At the charter school they didn’t deal with none of that. They were old school, and that is what I recommend for you parents. Your child will have manners and will be a lady or a gentleman. They are very strict, if we got in trouble, it was a paddling. But only if your parents signed the paper letting them know that they could. So good luck parents, and you have to step your game up in the world we live in today!

  21. I myself am not a 12 yr but 13 yr old so pretty much the same thing. I’m still a virgin but I have a gf that is dtf! So I do want to have sex. I’m telling the truth about this but its good to have protection either way. So I would love to have these condoms, because I don’t wanna be a dad just yet!

  22. So to the parents that say they watch their children: in seventh grade Alison invited me to leave class for the boys room… So how would you stop that? (I stood her up, but that’s a different story entire.)

    We won’t even get into what Jerry G. (16) did, earlier that year…

    So it’s nothing new. It’s probably a good thing that this tool exists, but… Egad. 12 years old is dodgy, to say the least.

  23. ..there is nothing wrong with 12 year olds having sex as long as protection and lines are involved and drawn clearly.

    ..whats wrong is many…heh..”adults” do not know $#$T as usual,and so without the knowledge or the ability to handle something like this because the foggy void in their head makes it hard to think- they scream and whine as if that has solved anything today and give their power away,asking cold blooded authority to think and act for them.thats all there is to it.

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