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Soldier Takes Parenting to the Next Level, “Waterboards” Child
91 Comments | Posted by Sarah in Joshua Tabor, PTSD, child abuse, parenting
In thoroughly horrifying news, military man Joshua Tabor became so enraged that his daughter wouldn’t or couldn’t recite her alphabet that he partially submerged her face in water “three or four times” as a punishment.
Tabor had recently gained full custody of the child and admitted to using the technique because he knew that she had a fear of water.
Waterboarding, a terror tactic used dating back to ancient times, is a technique that situates the victim with their head lower than their feet. Water is then poured over the victim’s face and causes a panicky gag reflex. According to Wikipedia, waterboarding can cause “… pain, dry drowning, damage to lungs, [and] brain damage from oxygen deprivation” among other lovely side effects.
The soldier and his daughter are based in the Tacoma, Washington area.
Tabor and his girlfriend were questioned after Tabor had disturbed the peace by roaming his neighborhood while threatening to break windows. When investigators questioned Tabor’s girlfriend about the soldier’s mental state, his daughter was found to have scratches on her neck and bruising on her face and claimed that “Daddy did it.”
The child has been taken into state custody and Tabor has been charged with assault pending trial.
This is, by far, one of the more disturbing stories regarding parenting that I’ve heard in recent times and clearly this is one disturbed individual. I’m not excusing his behavior by any far cry, but it’s clear that this soldier needs severe psychiatric treatment — and a definite no-contact order with his daughter. The soldier’s service record was not released to the public but officials state that he did serve in Iraq recently.
That poor baby girl. :( I hope that she and her dad get all the help they need. The father obviously needs a lot of help and it is sad that we don’t do more for our soldiers when it comes to helping them transition back to “normal” life.
Yeah, I was gonna say, sociologists have long lamented that while the US army has an intensive indoctrination and dehumanization process to break recruits down into obedient and efficient troops, there’s no transitional procedure to turn them back into functional human beings, so it’s pretty much a crapshoot as to their personal psychological resilience and ability to re-adapt and reconstruct a civilian personality.
This kind of stuff happens far too often. At least he got caught before he killed the poor kid.
I’m surprised that horrible stories like this don’t happen more often. My husband came home from a year in Iraq in November. To make sure that he and the hundreds of other soldiers coming home with him were okay they all at once were made to go the medical clinic and file past tables answering questions a few questions at a time and were then released. There are so many people trying to get in for medical care right now that my husband can’t even get a dentist appt and he’s been home for 3 months let alone help for his PTSD. The military likes to show all of these programs they have to help soldiers home from war but they are so small and can only help a small portion of the people who need it. People like this guy get around thinking he’s just find because no one follows up with the soldiers.
You’re right, Aras.
My daughter is an Army Nurse, right now she is stationed at West Point with the Returning Warriors Unit. She coordinates whatever care her guys need – from medical, dental, psych, etc.
A huge part of the problem is that the military is bleeding medical personnel left and right. It’s hard to get care when you don’t have care givers.
Thank your husband for his service for me, please.
Good Luck
I know that the Army and Marines can attract some pretty disturbed individuals who may already have a propensity for violence. Anyone with half a brain can say the right things to pass the psychological portion of the entry requirements. I do not believe the “re-conditioning” done to create a soldier can make a good person into an abusive shit-head. With that said, I also think that the horrible things one sees in war can be disturbing and definitely hurt ones mental health.
My grandfather may well have had PTSD. When he came back from the war, he was a different man. My grandmother never smiled with her mouth open because he had knocked out her front tooth. He turned to drinking to cope with whatever was going on in his head. But he may have seen domestic violence growing up. No way to prove what caused his violence.
This man may well have abused his daughter had he never joined the military. The water-boarding method is unique to his current background but maybe he would have burned her with a ciggarette or beat her with a cord had he not had any military influence.
I don’t care if he has mental issues or not, this poor kid doesn’t deserve this.
Heartbreaking :(
This story is truly unreal. From the delusional father who somehow thought punishing a child for refusing to recite the alphabet would instill a love of learning – AND he said that she was behind developmentally.
This made me sick to my stomach – her words here:
“It was hot! The water was hot!” the girl told police, according to the incident report. “I told him I would say my letters then! My heart shirt got wet.”
To the judge that decided this was a healthy custody arrangement:
“Tabor’s daughter had only been living with him for just two months, according to Stancil. A court ruled late last year that Tabor would split custody of his daughter with the girl’s mother in five month increments. Tabor was to care for the girl for the first half of 2010, said Stancil. ”
This isn’t a piece of property that they can share. This is a child.
This just makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t know how the military lets people like this fall through the gaps. I used to have a friend who worked as a psychologist for the VA and it was really hard on him. If he had a patient who he felt was a suicide risk he had to fill in a form basically saying that he’d advised them to check themselves in and that he wouldn’t be at all surprised if they killed themselves. But hey, if they did kill themselves then that meant less strain on the system. Yeah, I’m just that cynical when it comes to this stuff.
On a related note I read an interesting article yesterday about the total lack of care for female veterans at VA medical centers. Only about half of the centers have a ob-gyn on staff and it can be nearly impossible for women to get adequate treatment for PTSD or sexual assault. It was either Cosmo or Good Housekeeping. I know, world of difference but I was flicking through them both.
Not having adequate ob-gyn staff does not equal a total lack of care
I think Rhonda’s first paragraph pointed out a pretty severe lack of care.
But it signals at severe lack of care for female soldiers. And the fact that this story even happened shows that the military does NOT have adequate transitional personnel. We have the greatest military in the world, but sadly we just drop soldiers off at the dock when they’re done fighting, and THAT is dispicable.
Oh my god, I am truely touched by the story. As I have a good few friends in the (German) military, my heart bleeds whenever I hear how badly treated the soldiers are when they get home. And that poor wee soul of a kid :-(
That poor kid. I hope her father is locked up–jail, mental facility, whatever.
To already get off topic-
I read the comment above about the greatest military in the world, and wondered what that meant. So I went looking for some info, and found this study:
http://www.globalissues.org/article/75/world-military-spending
Is this study legit? I had absolutely no idea that Americans used half of their taxes to pay for the military. Are Americans down with that sort of spending, or is it an issue?
It just seems baffling to me. I know a lot of Americans are worried that a national health care plan would increase their taxes, which is a valid concern. But I had no idea that there were such massive funds going into the military which could be going into basic social rights like health care.
Is no one really upset about the allocation of tax dollars? Or maybe Americans view it as something worth sacrificing social services- I don’t know.
I’m going to go let my head continue spinning for a bit…
Yeah it’s true, gets your head thinking right? All the things that the US could do with the military money.
Seriously. They could have invented flying cars by now. Or found a way to get to mars. Or cured cancer. Or found a way to rid the world of mosquitos without throwing the food chain off balance.
$54 billion. Man. Mind blowing.
Invading poor countries and sponsoring coups d’état is more important.
It would be nice to live in a world that required no military,but thats not the reality. Money that is spent on the military goes directly or indirectly back in the US economy,salarys,American made supplies and equipment,and many technological advances have come about through the military. Not to mention the character and educational benefits of our young soldiers. Lets not be to rough on the military.
I agree that we need a military but they need to clean up their spending. They don’t spend nearly enough on things like veteran’s health care yet they waste a ton of money on other things. I was watching something on wasteful spending a couple of months ago and they were interviewing military personnel about it. They gave an example, a land mine finding robot or something of that sort. They were originally using one they made themselves that cost about $12 per unit but it was replaced by a ridiculously expensive unit ($2,000 if memory serves and of course they blow up when they find a mine) that didn’t even work as well as their kludge.
I don’t know about that Rhonda. My husband works in an explosive ordinance and in Iraq his job was to find bombs and blow them up or defuse them and while they do use robots on really big or old bombs that are unsafe to approach (if you can find them before they go off) and he didn’t have thoses espensive robots and he just got back in November. Everyone in his unit had old machines and old guns, in fact they were using the guns that are considered obsolete but there isn’t enough equipment for everyone. I know billions of dollars goes to the military but I have no idea where it goes because it isn’t going into our paycheck or any equipment that is needed.
The federal government is very efficient at wasting money,pun intended. But that goes for some liberal programs as well. How about the trillions on the war on poverty and subsidizing illegitimacy. How about the global warming fairy tale. I use to play tennis with a girl who got a federal disability check for her back. Its rampant and found on both sides of the aisle.
Well, even if half of all money put into American social services was squandered, it still would be a tiny percentage in comparision to what is being spent on the military.
I just cannot fathom how that much money can be spent on a military (though I guess a lot of it may be paying for past military expenses). Joey had mentioned a few benefits, but those could easily be applied to anything. Like economic activity in the car industry, technological advances through space exploration programs, or character building through schools. I don’t think other countries are really at a deficit in these qualities for having smaller militaries, but clearly the States is using the military as their means of reaching these goals. But why?
I’d be interested to know, as Americans, what role do you see the military playing in the everyday lives of your citizens?
(I’m not criticizing, I’m just interested. Well, internally I may criticizing, but I wouldn’t do so outwardly without knowing more).
Lots of good points,but this really can be a dangerous world,and you need a military. That being said,I’ve seen the perversion of war and its ugly beyond comparison. Hopefully some day we’ll have none,but I’m not holding my breath.
Wicked, I’ll try to put this (somewhat) into perspective.
As an example – 1 military base, an Army base, okay?
Ft Hood, Texas. It covers 340 square MILES or 24 miles x 26 miles
population of about 71,000 people
has 7 elementary schools
3 middle schools
2 high schools
The post hospital, Darnall, also serves the surrounding area (civilians). Here are a few stats:
“As of April 2006, the hospital had approximately 2,500 military, civilian and contracted personnel supporting more than 150,000 TRICARE beneficiaries living within the hospital’s catchment area. On an average day, there were 3,867 outpatient visits, 26 surgeries, seven newborn deliveries, 170 visits to the emergency department and nearly 5,000 prescriptions filled.”
Now, keep in mind this is one base (granted, it is the largest) for one branch of the military.
Even if we weren’t involved in a damn war, we would still be paying upkeep on our installations – of which this is only one.
I’m not negating the fact that a country needs a military.
I’m just interested in a military that absorbs just under half of its country’s tax income, when the next most expensive military comes in at just under 6%.
Wicked?
I think you have your stats confused.
It is 23% of the budget. I think you were looking at worldwide spending. For every $1 spent worldwide, the US expends .49 of it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:U.S._Federal_Spending_-_FY_2007.png
I was looking at the original study I posted, and specifically, this pretty ol’ pie chart:
http://static.globalissues.org/i/military/us-taxes-2009.png
Another point is that we have states that are larger than some European countries – with the population to match.
I hope this helped some :)
I’m falling back in love with you again!
Of course. :P
Well, by population, the American population pales in comparison to the Chinese population, but the States still spends over 7 times more than they do.
I’m not really trying to figure out how the US spends their money, but more so why Americans feel it is important. Like if the amount spent on the military was significantly decreased, would Americans flip out?
FLIP OUT???
LOL Hell no!
I would absolutely LOVE it if we didn’t have to foot the bill to be the “world’s policeman” or the “provider of the cash”!
Do you have any idea of how much protection of OTHER nations that the USA has provided since 1900?
Remember, Wicked – China takes care of China.
As do many on that list.
You know who our allies are, right?
Imagine how much their citizens would flip if we became as China is. Because they would have to pick up the slack. Canada is a good neighbor, hardly threatening. Mexico isn’t much of an issue. We really would only have to take care of our borders, right?
AWESOME!
I’m not sure you meant it this way, but it sure sounds like you’re saying the world would fall apart if the American military disappeared.
Do Americans see themselves as “The world’s policeman”?
My daughter has a shirt that says,
“it will be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber”
So, no. All Americans would not flip out over that.
I think it would be fair to say that most Americans would be happy about it.
How about doing a proportional comparison, and not an overall one? The EU has more population than the US.
Absolutely!
And I repeat – think about what our allies will have to come up with monetarily if and when the US withdraws military support.
For us? AWESOME!
For them? UH OH!
Seeing that they do not do much right now, I do not think that they will take over the role of the US if they should withdraw from Iraq or Afghanistan.
I know for a fact that most of the money goes into VERY expensive technology, ie fighter jets, munitions systems, RADAR and guess what? Maintaining that kind of equipment is a major expense. Often, the military gets a bid from a contractor. Once there is a contract in place, the contract must be fullfilled, even if a year later, the same service or parts can be had for a cheaper price. WIth companies who provide these kinds of services to the government, their goal is to keep prices high (to benefit their company obviously).
A captain once told me about an outbuilding to one of our squadron buildings. It was built as extra office and storage space, big enough for 2 crews of about 15. The base had it built on a piece of the property where a different building contract was in place to remove “non-essesntial” structures. This building was just finished, brand new, never been worked in and it was scheduled for demolishion. There was nothing any commanders or anyone with a brain and leadership abilities could do because of the CONTRACT that had been agreed to.
If that isn’t fraud, waste and abuse I don’t know what is… but it is an aspect of the law I guess.
Doesn’t sound right, Wicked.
Let me give you an example, okay?
Firstly, we have the information that you provided – stating nearly 50% of the budget for military spending.This site is called GlobalIssues.org
This begs the question : “Who is GlobalIssues.org?”
To give credit, this fellow has an About link, and he’s honest. The information follows:
” * by Anup Shah
* This Page Last Updated Sunday, February 03, 2008
Welcome to the global issues web site. This web site looks into global issues that affect everyone and aims to show how most issues are inter-related.
There are over 550 articles on this site, mostly written by myself.”
A group (or could be one kid in his Mom’s basement, who knows?) that calls itself War Resistors League claims that the US spends 54% of the budget on military.
Wikipedia says 23% – wiki is what it is, but there are tons of citations for the huge amount of data there.
Now, in a February 4, 2008 article in the New York Times, this point is made:
“About 14 percent of the national economy was spent on the military during the Korean War, and about 9 percent during the war in Vietnam. By comparison, when the current base Pentagon budget, nuclear weapons and supplemental war costs are combined, they total just over 4 percent of the current economy, according to budget experts. The base Pentagon spending alone is about 3.4 percent of gross domestic product.”
It’s important to keep in mind that Bush was still in office, and the New York Times was far from a fan of his.
My very first post was asking if these numbers are correct. I didn’t attest that the link I shared was the be all and end all of statisitics on American spending.
However, even if we take the 23% stated on Wikipedia, that is still a momentus amount of spending on the military, which still leaves my question: why is this the American priority?
Wicked, you have really made me think, especially when you asked:
“’I’d be interested to know, as Americans, what role do you see the military playing in the everyday lives of your citizens?”
The answer to that is none.
We see very little of the military in our everyday lives unless we live on or near a military base.
This contrasts VERY sharply with a number of nations that I have visited.
Somewhere, I have pictures of myself at the Louvre – with soldiers in the background, each carrying an automatic weapon. I saw this all over Paris, and Rome, too.
Senility is setting in, those two are the only ones that come immediately to mind – perhaps Cairo as well? Not certain. But I will check. Seeing that was mind-blowing.
Also,our standard of living has been greatly benefited by technologies perfected with military research dollars. You don’t see it,but its there.
Joey, one very big use would be satellites.
Think about it, people use them every day – they are invaluable.
GPS, music, communications, entertainment – the world depends on satellites – originally a military technology!
*example – not use
I didn’t mean where do you see them as in, visually where do you see them.
I meant that when I break down what makes me proud to be a Canadian, I think of social services, public funding, human rights, beautiful lands, etc. And when I look at our federal budget, these things are reflected.
So when I see the number one expense for Americans, by a long shot, is military spending, I think, well, that must be what is most important to them. And I was wondering why.
That’s all. It’s not really a criticism that such an amount is too much, I’m just wondering how it got to be so huge.
Wicked, I am proud of the same things that you are.
Why wouldn’t I be?
You can be quite exasperating!
I didn’t say you shouldn’t be proud of the same things.
I said that the Canadian budget proportionally reflects what Canadian value most (give or take a few percentile, depending on who you are talking to).
So in comparison, one would think that the American budget reflects what Americans are most proud of. And that would appear, above everything else, to be the military. And I was just wondering why- a question you’re just awesome at dodging!
Must be that were just a bunch of bullys,and not very bright.
I see what you’re saying. I’m sorry, I didn’t do that intentionally, I was in the middle of making dinner and a sauce was being troublesome.
Unfortunately, the US budget does NOT reflect what we value most.
Sometimes you’re saddled with situations that you have little control over and our budget is a great example of that. Every dime spent goes through the House and the Senate, and finally – the President.
We currently have 2 wars to deal with and pay for. I honestly have no idea how this will all play out. The economy right now is worrisome – everyone who can read or owns a television or radio knows this.
Very true. Come to think of it I had more contact with the US military when I lived in the UK than I do living in the US. There was a marine base about 20 miles away and I went to a couple of events there. My line dance instructor was a military wife and she’d come over to our town each week for lessons. There were a few families living in my town and a couple of the kids came to our public school. Here in the US I have an air base about 20 miles away and I’ve only been there once and I don’t know a soul who works there.
Something else to think about:
January 2010 figures, I assume estimates, of course:
European Union – consists of 27 member countries: 501.26 million population
USA (ONE country) 303.5 million population ( early 2008 estimate)
We, the citizens of the USA, would be absolutely THRILLED if the EU picked up it’s proportionate share of military spending!
To bad the EU is crumbling as we speak.
That’s not true.
Crumbling is a bit harsh, but things aren’t good globally.
Here, where I live? The economy is quite strong, even real estate is doing okay.
Actually,what I meant was that the cohesion of the EU as a unifying group is failing.
How about the EU citizens know how painful it is to see your country destroyed and are not interested in getting involved in wars like the US are? Bear in mind most of our ancestors -my grandparents, mind you- have actually seen their countries destroyed by war – Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Greece, you name it. We have suffered way too much to keep on playing soldiers and sending hundreds of thousands of young men abroad to kill innocent people. This is not about “oh my grandmother fled Germany when she was 10″ or “my grandfather was in a concentration camp”, this is about “oh my grandmother didn’t have the means to flee Spain, had to stay and had to live in extreme poverty for years, like everybody else” and “my grandfather was in a concentration camp and then had to face a life in a poor country”. We know better than you the toll a war takes in daily life, maybe that’s why we’re not as interested in military.
I absolutely understand that, Miree.
Then you should understand the point that I was trying to make even more.
The question was basically “Why does the US spend so much on the military?”.
My answer and examples should surely have brought home that it isn’t something that we, the people of the US WANT. It is something that has mushroomed since World War II and it doesn’t look like there is any way out.
The facts are very simple, really.
If the USA drastically reduces it’s military spending and concentrates solely on *our* country, then the rest of the world will have to increase their spending to provide their own military.
Believe it or not, this would affect the EU. For every dollar that the US withdraws in spending in Europe, eventually it will have to be replaced with Euros. And not just money. People, too.
The US as a whole does not support the war in Iraq – let alone Afghanistan.
The funny thing about Afghanistan? It was all well and good when the US went in and HELPED the Afghan people against the USSR.
But that’s forgotten, right?
Miree, I don’t intend to be harsh, but if this were ever to happen, the US withdrawing from world military affairs?
Your country will have to discover an interest in military things.
There’s a difference between an interest in military things and the amount of money and resources the US are spending.
Miree?
It’s OUR money.
Indeed, and of course the US will spend their money as they want, but that doesn’t mean European countries should also spend the same (proportional) amount of their money in military as well.
No, Miree.
What I’m saying is that IF the USA were to withdraw militarily from the international arena, suddenly – the rest of the world most certainly will have to pick up the slack – that is _ shell out some serious cash.
Just like we have been doing for ages and been spat on for it.
Miree,the last thing we wanted to do was get involved in WW2,and when we did the people of Europe weeped with relief and gratitude. War sucks,and we don’t start them!
Don’t fucking get me started on WWII. Spain NEVER got any help whatsoever from the US, we had to wait until Franco died, the US only got involved when Germany was a real threat for them and moreover, the plan Marshall was the perfect synonym for blackmail. So let’s not walk down that path, will we?
Most of Europe just said “finally!” when the US joined WWII. Most people of that generation have uttered the phrase “bloody yanks, showing up late for every war” at some point in their lives.
“Late” is the keyword.
Never got any help,the resources of Spain were depleted because of civil war. The US helped Franco feed the nation after the war,Franco was a joke!
As I said, don’t get me started.
Actually,you are scaring me a little,I am going to back off.
We got involved in WW II when we were attacked.
End of story.
Yes, and that’s completely legitimate, I have nothing to say about that. What fucks me off is this is sometimes mentioned as if the US were Europe’s saviour, when they only got involved because they had to save their own ass, not out of gratitude and love for us.
And if Europe could have taken care of Hitler,we gladly would’ve let you.
What happens in Europe stays in Europe yo.
Yes Rhonda, at that point in time, the USA was considered an “Isolationist State”.
That is the way it was.
It wasn’t our war until we are attacked on our own soil.
Please, please tell me something?
Name one fucking country out there that destroys the enemy (Japan, Germany), then pours BILLIONS into that very country to help it rebuild?
Name ONE FUCKING country that has done this.
You know, politically, I am what I jokingly refer to as a liberal conservative, but I hate war.
My family has lost a lot of life on foreign soil, fighting for other people.
I pay a lot in taxes that at this point I figure is like pissing down a rat hole because it’s going for foreign aid:
1. People that sneer at us for being generous (stupid, stupid Americans – as if I can’t speak the language).
2. Sure as FUCK don’t appreciate ANYTHING that the USA does for them or anyone else.
3.We’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
And Miree? Your Civil War was very well attended by the France and the USSR on one side and the fascists and Nazis on the other. Keep in mind – the USA was an Isolationist state in 1939 – we minded our own business.
Isn’t this what you are all saying we should be doing now?
The Spanish Civil War and the Portuguese dictatorship weren’t very well attended – since they weren’t important in the grand scheme of things, the US or the UK never tried to help the country, whereas the USSR gave some help, but never arms etc. Moreover, Spain was the US’ little bitch, with about five military American bases in national soil (Rota, anyone?).
Miree, was the Spanish Civil War a civil war or was it not?
Where was Spain during our Civil War?
All nonsense.
I hope that this isn’t upsetting you.
I love arguments like this because I either learn new things, get to see issues from someone else’s point of view.
And sometimes I can make someone open their eyes and look at things a little bit differently.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading up on your country’s history, Miree. I only had a vague recollection of the Spanish Civil War.
It isn’t upsetting me at all, don’t worry.
The Civil War was indeed a Spanish issue, true; but so was Mussolini’s dictatorship, wasn’t it? The problem, to me, is that when the US are pictured as Europe’s saviour, many people seem to forget that certain countries did not benefit from America’s actions and therefore will never be thankful for them. In fact, it was only England and France that should, in some way, thank the US, even though the US only intervened because their own national integrity was at stake. So Spain not only did not benefit from the D-Day happenings, but ended up with a filo-American regime of fascist roots. However, since the dictatorship actively collaborated with the US, it was tolerated and incited (Rota, the Western film industry, etc). That’s why it bothers me, because it’s not as black and white as some people say.
I think both you girls would be excellent jammers on the new ZeldaLilly roller derby team.
I just have to comment a tiny bit. Yes, the USA put millions into Germany and other European countries to help rebuilt. But that was not done for just being friendly. The USA knew they needed a Europe that was economically healthy. Otherwise the American economy would have suffered a great deal. The USA needed the European market.
That doesn’t mean that people (well, those who benefited) aren’t greatful. Believe me, they are! But USA didn’t just do it to be nice.
[...] Soldier Takes Parenting to the Next Level, â??Waterboardsâ? Child … [...]
You’re growing up, Grasshoppa. :)
Very little is black and white, most everything is shades of grey.
Whew!
I thought you scared Joey for LIFE!
There he is :)
I’m tiny but scary HA lol
Joey?
What the hell is a jammer?
The jammer races past the blockers to score the points,they always have the best butts and longest legs. Nothing sexist about me,LOL.
I LOVE roller derby! That and hockey. Best damn sports on earth.
Yeah!
That so obviously describes Miree and me to a T.
(the check is in the mail)
I guess we can ask, did the military let this “mental deficient” into their ranks or did they make this normal guy in this “mental deficient”. Even Ronald Reagan said that water boarding was torture, but I guess Cheney and his gay daughter are the brain trust on this lie that has been perpetuated onto the American people and signed off by the GOP.