The generous contributors over at AskMen.com have finally hit the nail on the head in identifying what a vagina actually is, the many intricate parts that compose it and how to fully “manipulate” it for maximum, mutual satisfaction.
The article states that women are creatures of an ever-evolving sexual nature (at least they got that right) and should be handled differently on each different occasion (right again, surprisingly). However, despite the fact that these men claim to be becoming enlightened, they claim that if their female sex partner is not climaxing, it’s normally their own mind block that’s preventing it — and not, God forbid, you.
Open mouth insert … nevermind.
The author also states that the clitoris’s only function is to provide pleasure to the woman, which I unquestionably believe, but the author then repossesses any ground he’s made by stating that the clitoris should be the first attack because it’s “easiest to find.”
Final advice from David Strovny, Sexual Education Correspondent for AskMen.com?
“Keep in mind that any type of sexual stimulation can lead a woman to orgasm. And although there are some women who can will themselves to orgasm without even being touched … “
Boy. If I could be one of The Lucky Ones to spontaneously commit myself to O’ing on demand, life would be a party.
Being awfully harsh on an article which in the end, will likely benefit a pile of women, aren’t we?
I’ll admit the author should have elaborated on his mention of the mental block, but in a way, he isn’t entirely off base.
If a woman is being open and honest about what brings her to orgasm, and shows a man exactly how she likes to be touched, and still is not orgasming, it certainly could be an issue of a mental block. This could encompass not being in the mood, being distracted, or just not being able to get into it. The same thing can, and does, happen to men.
I think it’s more valid to examine how many women are uncomfortable about completely opening up, and showing their partner what it takes to get them off. And this article at least encourages men to ask, and stresses the importance of the female orgasm.
Not so terrible in my books.
It’s definitely important to keep the lines of communication open. What I got from this article (the original askmen article, that is) was that no matter what you do, some women just won’t achieve orgasm and it’s her mental block that’s preventing her from doing so. Which, yeah, it’s a double-edged sword in that the article kind of notates what is best for a man to do in the sack, but it also kind of allows them to give up rather easily, ie just “pressing the button” ’cause it’s easiest to find and also just that some women won’t climax.
I’ve personally never encountered a woman who could merely twitch her nose and have an orgasm, either. lol!
There are women who can actually have orgasms by just thinking about them. It’s a stupidly small percentage, but it can happen.
I think ‘twitching her nose’ makes a perfect euphemism though ;-)
Only God knows the amount of hours I’ve spent in front of the mirror trying to twitch my nose. Must be exams period!
There are some days when I just can’t get off, no matter what my fiance does. It’s not necessarily his fault, and it sure as hell isn’t my fault. It’s nobody’s “fault”. Sometimes, it just doesn’t happen.
I think playing the blame game regarding orgasms is rather silly. Just have sex, try hard, and call it a day already.
Meh, same here. Some days it just doesn’t happen. Thank god they’re rare.
I can’t va ginally climax. I don’t know if it’s a mental block (I think it is) or what, but I can’t and I hate it. I think the article is fine, because it’s pretty much true. With the right guy, you won’t have to beg him to try hard. Hell, I have tell my boyf straight up that it just isn’t going to happen half the time. It’s quite depressing, really. Not for lack of trying, but I just can’t.
Grr. Now I’m in a shitty mood. Boo.
“Hell, I have tell my boyf straight up that it just isn’t going to happen half the time.”
Same here.
it sucks!!! It’s awful! I hate it! TMI alert: I’ve never had an orgasm via intercourse before (I’m using really technical terms because I’m on my work computer right now, y’all. Sorry.). Thank goodness for my boyf, he never makes me feel bad about it, and he tells me it’s ok. I just don’t get it. It feels good, but never THAT good. I can climax the other way, via oral and whatnot, but intercourse has never worked. And now I’m going to stop complaining. :)
Well, first of all there’s no such thing as TMI on Zelda Lily.
Second of all–I’m in the same boat. Usually, intercourse doesn’t do it for me either. But as long as you get it somehow, there shouldn’t be an issue. ^_^
There is definitely no such thing as TMI on Zelda Lily which is why we love it so much!
Intercourse doesn’t work for me either. I don’t actually think it works for many women.
Not even when you’re on top? That usually helps with the clitoral stimulation.
Dude, not even when I’m on top. I’m a freak, and for some reason, when my legs are spread (good God, I’m sorry for the info you guys!), it, like goes numb down there on the c-lit. I’ve tried manual stimulation, vibrators, everything. It just doesn’t do it.
That’s not as crazy as it sounds. Some women can have orgasms from clenching their thighs, so I’m guessing the legs closed thing is part of what helps you.
And as previously mentioned, there’s no such thing as TMI on Zelda Lily. *grin*
Thanks. :) Maybe I’ll give it a shot with my legs closed. Haha. Can’t hurt!!!
Same here. But after some bad experiences, I just stopped telling guys that I don’t have vaginal orgasms. Now, I also don’t have a problem with the fact that I don’t have them anymore (took me a while to get there), because sex still feels absulutely amazing. So, I’m happy, because I feel great and the guy’s happy because he thinks I’m coming, too. Everybody wins, we’re both enjoying each other.
I’m happy with clitoral orgasms and I always make sure that a guy knows what to do, so there’s plenty of joy :).
Please tell me that’s because you just sound like you’re having a good time, and so he makes assumptions (and not because you’re faking it)…
If I’m having a good time, the guy will notice. What kind of assumptions he makes is not my problem.
But I would never fake having agood time, if it doesn’t feel good.
If you love clitoral orgasms (I know I do), then have the guy you’re having sex with rub your clit during sex. It’s the best of both worlds and feels absolutely amazing. Like, unable-to-stand-for-a-few-moments amazing.
Could you expand on that a little,I don’t I quite understand. Nice and slow with lots of adjectives.
I know, it’s great :D.
@Joey: You sound like a taxi driver I once came across in India. Quote: “Sorry madam, may friends use these funny words that I don’t understand. Can you explain? They are ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’.”
But I’ll assume that you have these basics covered?
Yeah..I have the basics covered,and if you guys could wait about 30 minutes until I get back from the liquor store, I would really appreciate it.
So what if you don’t have orgasms all the time? I mean, yeah it’s like the proverbial cherry on top of the cake, but that doesn’t make the cake itself less delicious.
I agree :).
I partially agree with you. Don’t get me wrong, I love all the build up and thoroughly enjoy all aspects of love-making, but it’s always nice to get that cherry on top. Especially when we’ve been trying for hours. Sometimes, at least for me, it just gets really frustrating when it doesn’t come (if you will, ha!). I think I just have a lot of learning to do and a lot of bodily knowledge to obtain as well.
I used to feel like that a lot. But somehow I got to the point that I think, if I ever have a vaginal orgasm, then it’s because I’m relaxed and enjoying myself and not thinking “WHAT AM I DOING WRONG???” while I’m having sex. Don’t know for certain if that’s the right approach, but it does feel good :).
Good point. I’ll try to stop giving it so much thought. :) Thanks!
100% agree
Everybody is going to hate me – I am that woman who can come just by thinking about it, and in a 15 min quickie I usually orgasm 5 or so times. Then I can`t get up for half an hour. I also sometimes hyperventilate and have fainted a few times.
And here is my weird theory of the day – bisexual women are easier to make have an orgasm than lesbians or women who are experimenting with other women.
Oh. my. god. I do hate you. But it’s a jealous sexual envy mostly ;) I’ve never managed to orgasm more than once in a single go.
Makes sense to me. Then again, I’m not bi or at least I haven’t found a woman I’m sexually attracted to yet and I’m the same way. I don’t recall ever fainting but I have been known to randomly burst in to tears and I totally identify with the being unable to get up thing. There are times my hubby tries to talk me in to a quickie before I go pick the boy up from preschool. No can do, I need to be able to get up and get to school. Even if my legs do work I think jumping right up and in to the car would count as driving impaired.
The only reason my second wife had orgasms was to have one more thing to moan about.
Assuming my wife has been honest with me… :) … there are nights when it just doesn’t happen with intercourse. There are other nights when it does – when that happen, she can just float from crest to crest for a good five minutes. We gave up on the reason why years ago, although it does seem to follow her monthly cycle and be stress-related.
It’s not really a problem – on the off nights, we just roll up together and use her vibrator after I reach my orgasm (her clitorial orgasms, although usually less intense, are more dependable). Everybody winds up warm, happy, and relaxed.
You have to be honest with your man if you want him to be part of the solution.
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It’s funny how whoever wrote this particular rebuttal against the AskMen article seems bitter. The fact is, generally it is the person’s own fault for not having an orgasm. Women typically have a lot more “mental blocks”. They could feel self-conscious about her body during sex. They could be thinking about laundry. Anything that takes your mind off the actual act is going to prevent you from getting off. Orgasms are 70%(Probably more) physiological and 30%(Probably less) physical. Take into consideration this is coming from a man when I say this. I could arbitrarily thrust all day long and not orgasm. It doesn’t matter how tight or good it actually feels. If I’m not into it and actively thinking about something else, it’s not going to happen. That’s why men usually don’t have a problem with orgasms. You know the saying, “Sex is always and the only thing on our mind.” Although that is one of the most false and over exaggerated generalizing statements about men, it does hold some truth while in the deed – no mental blocks.
Women need to know what turns them on and let their partner know it. I’m going to throw a number out there, say 90% of women don’t do one of the two. They don’t know what gets them going or they do know what does the trick they just don’t let their partner know. So, is it women’s fault when they know what should be done but keep it to themselves – yes, it’s completely their fault. You could say it isn’t a woman’s fault if she doesn’t know what gets her sex gears going, but how could you say it’s the man’s fault if he’s trying? It’s still the woman’s fault because it’s her responsibility to find that out, being it’s her body and her mind. With that being said, experiment in bed and don’t be embarrassed or chained down to closed mindedness.