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Yes, ladies, as 2009 comes to a close, you should be thanking the heavens for your infidel husband — the one who comes home at all hours of the morning, reeking like booze and cheap drugstore perfume … the one who has lipstick stains not on his white oxford shirt; no, that would be too déclassé – but on his jockey shorts. The husband who conveniently doesn’t show up for marital maintenance functions such as anniversary dinners, birthday parties or even births. Yes, that man. Kiss your ass lucky and say ‘thanks’ to your own private deity above. He’s a keeper, that one.
According to French psychologist Maryse Vaillant, a man’s marital indiscretions add fodder to the fire that warms the hearth in your happy home. Vaillant’s aims as a psychologist include rehabilitating wayward males among other notable (and probably just as honorable) ideas.
Vaillant also claims that once a woman accepts her husband’s infidelity as unavoidable, she can then at last be liberated.
Although she claims in her newest book Men, Love, Fidelity that almost forty percent of French males cheat, Vaillant states that it’s a normal thing — for men — to do. It’s merely the way that they’re hardwired.
I guess I can go ahead and say that I’ve never heard a bigger bunch of crap in my life. I’m talking big, steaming, rotting pile of crap. I suppose it’s good news for polygamists and what not but for individuals who seek stability and mutual respect in a relationship, shit’s gone out the window, right?
I can stretch and be open-minded about this sort of thing only to give myself the benefit of the doubt as I claim to be “understanding.” I can dig the fact that not all people are cut out or are even interested in a committed monogamous relationship. It’s fine. What floats your boat might just sink mine and whatever have you. But … but. If you’re in a mutually exclusive relationship and don’t want there to be a third-party interpreter, don’t give me some crap about how accepting a man’s cheating (and allowing it to continue!) is “liberating” for women. It’s degrading. It’s an awful experience. Anyone who’s ever been there (unwillingly) can tell you the same.
For someone (namely, Vaillant) who claims to be so forward-thinking in her notions, she’s a bit backward on the feminist side methinks.
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Well thank God you called it a crock of shit Sarah, for a second I was afraid you would claim this a feminist stance and I would have to rip you a new one. :)
What a moron.
I’m guessing she just needs money, sensationalism sells.
This lady is nuts. I have no idea what the mindset of the average French woman is on this subject, but frankly I don’t think it can be too different from that of the average American woman, and I strongly suspect that the Average American woman would disagree with her wholeheartedly.
It’s NORMAL for men to cheat? No. Absolutely not. Men can and SHOULD be held to a higher standard. All people should.
Um….maybe if I’m putting my lipstick on some OTHER guy’s collar and we’re all into polyamory, maybe.
Other than that, no, not really.
Why Bonjour ladies!
Average French woman currently residing in Paris here.
Alors, so what is really funny about Paris is how it has this giant reputation as the City of Love. L’amour parfait! Mais, this is not the case (zees iz nut da case).
Women in Paris are natoriously hard to ‘catch’. We pride ourselves in not being easy. For making a man have to work for it. And most French men are happy to go along with it.
It’s not about free-love and constant sex here. Non. We are finicky here. Breasts may not bother us. But when it comes to getting to the task at hand we analyze it more. More so than the US. I would say this without a doubt.
But anyway–French men. Yes some do cheat. And that’s normal. I think this happens everywhere. And in French culture the worst thing you can do. The very worst thing is: waste food (I’m serious). But a close second is cheating.
And can I just say I’ve never met a French woman…ever, ever, ever who felt ‘liberated’ or didn’t mind her husbands indescretions. In fact, when a friend tells me she found her husband/boyfriend cheating we don’t even discuss if they will or won’t break up over it. It’s inevitable that they will. It goes without saying.
So oui, this is the case. And oui, I am hamming up the French. In the spirit of the post. If you have any questions feel free to ask them.
Hehe, that was cute. :)
I just wanted to add that contrary to popular belief all American women are not sluts, only the ones you see on reality shows.
And I would like to ask, what’s with all the Anti-American grumpiness? There are like a dozen other countries that suck way worse than us.
No, I think you’re misunderstanding what I’m saying:
Look, I have a lot of American girlfriends. They say things like, “man I need to get laid.” or “the sex was so good!” and it’s fun. It’s girl talk and it’s normal. I love that woman in the US feel more free to take want they want and act on their needs.
But in France, to be a woman and act as though you ‘want’ sex is not common. It’s not a positive thing. Its a cultural hang up.
I don’t think women in the US are slutty at all. I think they are more liberated. And I understand that there are exceptions within the culture.
But at least in the big cities I’ve spent time in, and even some small towns, sex is considered …well, more like something you take. Because you want it. Whereas in France the idea is you’re ‘giving’ something.
It’s not an America=bad thing. I much prefer the American attitutde towards sex. I think most girls here do.
Hope that clears it up.
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