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The recently-released American Psychological Association’s newest publication states that women are far likelier than men to admit to the fact that they lack the necessary willpower to overcome certain obstacles.
Say, like, chocolate-binging.
This could ring true.
I, who am a self-proclaimed “disgusting smoker,” have not tried many times to quit smoking. Why? I like to claim that it’s because I’m just “not ready” to kick the butt habit, but in all reality, I just don’t want to accept the fact that I have no willpower to do so.
My father, who is rounding out on fifty-nine years old this Spring, has smoked intermittently throughout the course of his life. I can recall several times where he’d quit for three, six and nine-year periods only to return (for some inane reason) to the deadly — and smelly — habit. He claimed that he was not physically addicted to the cigarettes and their nicotine, as many smokers claim to suffer. He claimed that it was more of a psychological habit, that of an “I’ve got an extra five minutes, I’m going to go and have a cigarette” brand of addiction. My father is a habitual smoker, one of customary and social traits.
I also like to consider myself a habitual smoker rather than that of the type that feel they “need” a cigarette, rather than “want” one. Or so my denial tells me.
Bullshit and self-delusion aside, and although my father has “quit” on many occasions, it proves the point — in my case, at any rate — that men generally have more willpower than women to make the necessary adjustments to improve their lives.
Even if it’s just for a little while.
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I dont know if I buy that argument. Anybody can overcome an addiction if they really want to and try their damndest. Will they do it on their first try? Probably not. But if they have a genuine desire to do it, they eventually will. I don’t care if you’re a man, woman, whatever–telling yourself you don’t have the willpower is the surest road to defeat.
Yeah, I definitely don’t have the willpower (yet) to quit smoking. It’s probably because I don’t want to overcome this addiction just yet. As dumb as that sounds.
You’ll quit when and if you’re ready.
I just reached a point where I was tired of being controlled by a “thing”.
Some people use the gum, patches. or different medications and it works for them. I couldn’t do it that way. I had to go cold turkey – just get the nicotine out of my system
I have to hate everything about smoking, though.
I’m weak, and I know it.
I was super tired of having to smoke in the summer. It’s hot around here.
Also, I knew that the best way to make sure my daughter didn’t smoke was to not smoke myself. That’s what really did it for me.
I know a couple who smoke in the car, at home etc, with little discretion and they have a daughter who got lung cancer when she was just a little kid. She thankfully recovered, but they still smoke around her. I think she is just about ready to throw them off a cliff.
Regardless of who has more “willpower”, I think women are more apt to be humble enough to admit it. So rather than looking at which gender will “admit” to something, it would be more meaningful to observe the actions. Classic case of the talk vs. the walk.
Seriously?
“Bullshit and self-delusion aside, and although my father has “quit” on many occasions, it proves the point — in my case, at any rate — that men generally have more willpower than women to make the necessary adjustments to improve their lives.”
You can’t prove a point in your case about a generality. I am glad that you have proved a point about you and your dad (although his quitting for a bit then returning doesn’t sound like an excellent demonstration of willpower to me), but this says nothing at all about men and women in general. Single cases say nothing at all about the world at large.
Woah – hard on yourself much?
Let me be clear – I am not dengrating or dismissing your own personal struggles with willpower, I have enough of my own that are put down to want to do that to you. But please, give yourself a bit more credit. So your dad managed to quit smoking (temporarily, at least) and you didn’t. Big Deal. What about all the things you’ve done that he hasn’t? Things such as – let me see – write some wonderfully thought-provoking articles for people like me to read and ponder?
So, lets provoke some thought. As Kai said, you can’t generalise from a single case study – only make generalised hypotheses. So what about other hypotheses to explain these results?
Diane suggests that maybe women are more likely to ‘admit’ to a lack of willpower. I think this may be a good hypothesis. I’d like to take it further – perhaps it’s because women are more likey to attribute failure at a specific task to a fault within themselves, than to external influences. There have been studies showing this – I’d dig out a reference for you, but honestly, I don’t have the willpower.
And possibly, introducing patriarchy to the mix, women have been taught that they have less willpower, and have internalised this sentiment.
It’s also possible that many women discount many of their willpower successes. Long-term goals such as giving up smoking are one thing, but what about every time you’ve got up and gone about your daily business when you’ve felt unwell? That takes willpower too.
Do men have more willpower than women? Until someones comes up with a standard, balanced, empirical test for willpower, there’s no way to be sure. My opinion is no, they don’t. But neither (for the most part) are they required to expend as much willpower in trying to be superhuman, just to prove that they are, in fact, human.
We all have issues with willpower, and one of those issues is a failure to recognise that willpower alone is often not enough to ensure success. This study shows that women are more likely to “admit” to a “lack of willpower”. We should be examining why this is the case, instead of taking it personally, and abusing it to criticise ourselves (I’m sure there are plenty of non-feminists who’ll quite happily do that for us!).
And me? I have a diploma that only serves to remind me that I failed my degree because I didn’t have the willpower to ‘get over’ my depression and anxiety issues. I’m no saint, or preacher, just another woman who admits a lack of willpower.
So please, don’t be so hard on yourself. Really, you don’t deserve it. And one day I may need you to say the same thing back to me. :)
My bf and I quit several years ago together. He started back up this year. I had the willpower to quit and still have the willpower to stay quit. Absolutley, no doubt in my mind. Partly because I see how gross it is now, and partly because I know that nicotine is a very strong drug and I won’t ever take my chances with it again. I agree with Kai, one-offs really don’t prove a point. However, if there is real research to suggest this, then I will buy it. But — keep in mind that the research cannot prove causation. It is more than likely that this lack of will power is institutionally induced, and a learned behavior, rather than something that is genetic. As are many of the gender discordances we live with and fault women for.
One more thing I forgot. I think we all missed the real point! You wrote that the publication stated that “…women are far likelier than men to admit to the fact that they lack the necessary willpower…”. The key was women will ADMIT it. That said, I supppose the point of the article could have been that women can admit things like short-comings, where as men cannot.
Have you thought about doing something to help your will power like hypnosis? I’ve been using a product called Limbaslim to help me lose weight. It’s hypnosis combined with a sniffer of essential oils which you sniff before you listen and it helps everything stick in your head. The same company makes a product called Limbaquit to help people quit smoking. Haven’t tried it personally since I’ve never smoked but I have a couple of friends who have had success with it and I know the Limbaslim is working for me. Hope you don’t mind me recommending it here, I’m not selling it or anything, just think it might help you or anyone else who wants to quit.