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According to etiquette-challenged Jon Hochschartner (and isn’t that a name that’d just want to roll off your tongue during sex, anyhow) who is a staff writer of the Plattsburgh (NY) State University’s newspaper, Cardinal Points, states that having sex with a woman who’s on the rag has got to be, like, the most disgusting thing, like, ever of all time, right?
The fratboy-eque Hochschartner retells a story regarding a “chick” he had bedded via a drunken escapade the prior night and his next-morning awakening which left him covered in blood from his “chest” to his “dick.” So classy. Hochs goes on to explain how utterly mortified he is and blah, blah, blah “anything that can bleed for seven days and not die has got to be evil” hooha.
Kind of reminds me of that scene in Super Bad, where the chunky kid finds menstrual blood on his jeans after dancing with a female school mate. You know, that utterly infantile, asinine movie where it’s all about tits and ass and the perversions of creepy little male high school students? Yeah, that one.
Hochs goes on to offer “better” alternatives to sex when his female coitus partners are on the rag. His first suggestion? Try anal. Psst. She might like it. His second? The sad excuse for foreplay: fellatio. Hochs states that she may not be “down” with the second suggestion, citing not feeling “generous” enough, but there is a sure-fire remedy is to “stuff her full of cramp-reducing chocolate” and she then might “see the light.”
If this guy even remotely had a clue about the benefits (for both) of sex on the rag instead of being so pig-headed that the previous night’s sex was “icky” and “gross” because of a little extra lube when he probably couldn’t even remember it to begin with, he might take a bit of a different stance instead of crying like a little girl who skinned their knee for the first time and shed their own blood.
He claims that female suggestion of learning to like the natural lubrication falls on deaf ears; in fact, Hochs threw up in his mouth a little bit at the mere thought.
I’d like to meet this guy in a dark place and pull a Carrie on him. Pig wouldn’t know it’s own blood from that of a woman anyway, right?
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“…he might take a bit of a different stance instead of crying like a little girl who skinned their knee for the first time and shed their own blood.”
Hahahahahahaha!
Ok the guy’s a dick, but seriously, can’t you wait a few days? I don’t get the bloody mess deal either…I like to be clean.
Agreed. Does either party need it so bad that they have to go through that? The other 26 days in the month are not good…just the 5 days your on your cycle? lol
Honestly, its a matter of preference. I’ve seen people get off on much worse. (2 girls – One cup) ;)
Ultimately if people want to have sex while on the rage thats up to them. I don’t prefer it though.
Some girls bleed over a longer number of days. And sometimes around the beginning and end it wouldn’t exactly be a bloody mess.
I know some girls say that they are actually more easily aroused around that time of the month, so why not take advantage of it? Orgasms are also supposed to be helpful for cramps.
I’m interested in the comments this thread is going to get.
It.. happens. Especially later in my cycle when I tend to bleed less at night (I am an extremely heavy bleeder due to Ovarian Cysts).
Not my first choice, but it certainly helps with both the cramps and my mood.
I usually let him take the lead when it comes to the particular moment. I’ll remind him that it’s that time and if he continues to go for it, so be it.
At the moment we’re using condoms anyway, which makes it less messy anyway (most of the menstruation ends up on the thing going in the garbage, rather than either of us). I don’t think it ever happened when it was just Birth Control.
While it can be a little messy or gross, even, you’re not really thinking about it in the moment (at least I’m not), it’s easy enough to get clean (sometimes that’s half the fun), and it feels good, so (%*# social norms and mores, do what you like :D
That being said, I can understand it being a “no no” for some people, women and men alike. But there’s no need to be as belittling as this guy is being. A simple “no” would suffice.
P.S. Fun Fact: If you’re a member of the Hells Angels you (in some areas) earn a pair of Red Wings for performing oral sex on a girl on her period. Maybe a more fitting ending to the story would be him meeting up with a few of those guys and then calling them “gross” :D
I’m not that into the idea on the first couple of days of my period because I tend to feel crampy and not in the mood. When the flow’s a lot lighter for the second half of it though both my boy and I definitely do it.
The guy seems like a douche, but sharing his opinion isn’t exactly horrible. I don’t want to do it, I can’t think of many men who’d enjoy it. It’s happened, but it was spontaneous. And it’s a bit icky and awkward.
Although anal? Really, that isn’t a good suggestion. She still has to take off her pants and possibly anything keeping the blood off of them, and it’s still messy.
Well, it wouldn’t interfere with a tampon.
I think the issue isn’t that he went ‘ew, that’s kinda icky’, but had to embelish and go on about the insane disgustingness.
I feel like a tampon would create at least minor discomfort, based on the proximity of the two orifices. But having never had anal sex, especially not while wearing a tampon, I can only speculate.
And I know the issue. The issue is, like I said, that he is a douche. I’m just saying, the reaction seemed to be just as much to that as to the fact that he doesn’t want to do it. I agree with him that it’s icky, I don’t agree with his attitude. It’s just that the author starts going on about the benefits. Fuck the benefits. People don’t like being covered in blood, ever, and that’s not exactly something to condemn. The issue should SIMPLY be his attitude, like saying ’stuff her full of cramp-reducing chocolate,’ and not the fact that he, like most, think it’s gross to be covered in someone else’s blood.
I am with you in mere speculation, so I guess I’ll just have to leave that one. You may be correct as well.
That’s fair, yes. There’s no reason to go too far to either side.
Admittedly, when you have anything in one of the holes, it’s harder to get anything in the other hole.
However, tampons are usually small enough to not interfere in the least.
I’m sure you’d be psyched if a guy smeared himself in blood first and then wanted to get it on, yeah?
No, but I wouldn’t suggest fucking him in the ass as a good alternative.
I think I love you Alzeatia.
What Squeeziee said.
Don’t we all!
hahha Alzaetia!
I have the strange desire for a Bloody Mary!
Bahahahaha
on the subject itself i think its a couple by couple issue and not a flat out taboo.
reading the actual article i actually have a little sympathy. this is some college kid(so 22 at the most) with a still fairly limited sexual history, the girl gives him no warning and he wakes up covered in the girls menstrual blood. you gotta expect he’d freak out a little. yeah, he writes like a tool but thats just adolescent bravado.it should be taken to heart as much as the rest of college students spouting off stupid shit.
That’s pretty much what I was thinking to. If she’d just told him before hand then he could have made the decision or taken precautions like doing it in the shower or at least putting down a towel or something. Just going for it then leaving the guy to wake up covered in blood, presumably all over his sheets too, is pretty sick and gross. If both partners are up for then fine. If the girl knows what’s going to happen and jumps the guy without warning then she’s pretty much as bad as the guys who ‘accidentally’ slip it in the wrong hole without warning.
I’ll agree with that. I can’t believe he isn’t exaggerating on the amount of mess, but it is one of those things that should be mentioned, and allow both parties to decide whether to proceed.
Then again, it’s not out of the realm of possibility to start unexpectedly.
I would feel a bit bad for the guy, but honestly it doesn’t sound to me like he even asked the girl if she was on her period even after it happened. He said he didn’t even remember if he was drunk or not, which sounds a bit ridiculous to me. The fact is that some girls bleed after sex, badly. Especially if the sex was a little drunken and rough. Granted if the girl didn’t tell him she was on her period, I don’t feel too bad for her because no matter what your opinions are about it, fair warning is just good manners. But can you imagine the mortification if you were a girl who had a problem like bleeding after sex, which can be unpredictable, and then got to read all about it the next day? Do people expect girls like that to totally abstain from sex? You don’t go to bed with a guy expecting to read about it in a column the next day. I think the article was a bit cruel and in bad taste. How humiliating.
Well.
In complete honesty.
I’ve done it.
Shower sex anyone?
and my boy really didn’t seem to mind all that much.
In all honesty,
I’ve done it.
Shower sex anyone?
and my boy didn’t really mind it.
Not that I initiated the sex, but, whatever.
He really really didn’t care.
It may be that I’m barley a bleeder, but whatever the case, he really doesn’t care, and it’s rather nice that he’d be willing to sleep with me when I’m that “disgusting”.
My husband refuses to do it because it grosses him out, and I’m perfectly okay with that – if he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t like it, and he’s very respectful when it comes to things I don’t like (like anal). But my sister had a boyfriend who actually LOVED to do it when she was on her period. It really turned him on, and she said it actually felt better for her because she was more sensitive down there. To each his or her own, I guess!
Don’t forget the bonus of the Japanese flag that can be a souvenir of the night before!
That is so gross…..you need some dark towels my friend.
When you discover that your roommate decided to have sex in your bed with a menstruating female after a wild party (cause his bed was already occupied) and you come home to discover the “evidence”, you wind up with a Japanese flag!
I still laugh about it to this day, thankful that my mother insisted on mattress covers so the stain didn’t soak thru to the mattress.
I’m pretty sure I’d kill any roommate who had sex in my bed regardless of the state of either of them…
I do remember it took me awhile to figure out who it was that created that masterpiece. By then, I wasn’t quite so angry (but I did get rid of the sheet, blanket and mattress pad).
Is it totally gross for some unsuspecting guy to end up covered in blood after a night of debauchery? Yes. He doesn’t need to be an asshole fratboy about it, but I can see how that would freak someone out.
If everyone’s aware of the sitch and they decide to do it anyway? Yeah, go for it. Do it in the shower or on a towel or whatever, it’s messy but give’r. Plus, I find I’m more sensitive, so it can be better.
Suggesting I give you a blow job because I’m bleeding (and very likely cramping and bloating)? Fuck yourself, literally. If I want to I will, but now it NOT the time to ask for it. Suggesting anal because you want all the benefits of sex without my pesky problem in your way? Refer to the blow job. Plus, anal can be far messier (and grosser) than period sex.
Oh my God! Women menstrate!?!? Why do men act like they don’t know about this?
The wife and I really go at it when it’s time! It doesn’t grosses us out and we try not to make a mess… which rarely happens.
It was the wife who suggested it the first time and as she told me “it’s just extra lubrication” :D
Hasn’t anyone considered the risk of STD/AIDS transmissions from menstrual blood? That would be a far larger concern than any general “grossness,” I would hope.
It would be one thing if that was what the guy mentioned. But the reaction was not ‘this is bad in a one-night stand, because I have open wounds this is potentially getting into’. It was ‘ewwwwww, blooooooood!’
Perhaps I just tend to spend my time around people with few sexual hang ups, but I have never dated anyone who was bothered in the slightest by blood and I have been with several men who were down for going down while I was bleeding as well. Although I do have to say I did not actually participate in that as I have no interest in kissing someone whose face is covered in my uterine lining.
It’s odd the post didn’t directly address the idea of menstruation as something that is filthy, and something to be embarassed of that should be hidden- by both men and women.
There’s a pile of feiminist literature on the subject, and a lot the negative aspects are being reinforced in the comments above.
I think it’s interesting that female fluids- menstruation- are considered disgusting, but male fluids- semen- are not. Replace the various phrases used in Hochschartner’s article with some sort of term for semen, and it becomes ridiculous.
Yah, wait if you don’t want to deal with it.
Or this guy seems like a real winner, he shouldn’t have any trouble finding plenty of non-menstruating women to stick his dick into.
Right.
He should count himself lucky if all he got from his drunken screw was some blood on him and not syphilis or HIV or gonorrhea, etc.
Besides, when is this kind of puerile grossness appropriate for a college newspaper? I suppose he thinks this makes him look like some sort of a big man or whatever.
Feh.
You haven’t seen a college newspaperin a while, have you…?
I personally hate having sex while on my period. It makes me feel extremely self-conscious and awkward…HOWEVER, period sex I did have. Why? My ex-boyfriend was the one who didn’t care. I never knew whether to be flattered or a bit disgusted but period sex didn’t bother him one bit, he was not the waiting sort.
Mid-menstrual coitus I had the most profound feeling of stabbiness.
Any reason for this?
Oh, yeah, that’s why…
i’m surprised nobody’s brought up menstrual cups! while personally i use a Diva Cup and it fills me so much PIV sex would not be possible, i’ve heard/read many accounts of women using Instead cups (the disposable kind of cups) or even regular cups during sex. most say that their guys can hardly feel it, although this varies depending on the guy/cup.
so, a clean, comfortable, as well as eco-conscious way of handling period sex. sounds good to me!
The thing that bothers me is that this guy asks like girls who are on their period are walking around demanding sex from their boyfriends, bleeding or not. I don’t know anyone who would do this, if my boyfriend (or girlfriend) wanted to fool around while I was on my period and they were cool with it then fine but I would never force that option on someone.
Do you girls not get agonizing cramps, pms ect? I can’t imagine wanting sex with that shit going on, all I want is Midol and a pint of ice cream.
I don’t even know if you are a girl sometimes. You know the P in PMS stands for PRE, right? as in, before your period.
Some people DO get cramps DURING their period. I sure as hell do.
I ONLY get cramps during my period, not before.
I really only suffer from PMS during my period– I don’t understand why it’s called PRE-Menstrual.
cramps are not a part of PMS. PMS is about moods. of course people get cramps during their period. that’s the feeling of your uterine lining squeezing and freaking out to flush your line out.
PMS is a set of symptoms that commonly come with menstruation– that includes mental AND physical symptoms. Bloating? Migraines? Changes in libido? Cravings? Nausea? All are signs of PMS.
I get everything during, not before. Cramps, pissy mood, fatigue, bloating you name. All during that magical week of fun and bliss (the “girly time”, as my fiance has fearfully dubbed it).
I like period sex. I’m not a heavy bleeder, and I’ve never made a mess. And it can really help with my AWFUL cramps.
And if a guy won’t have sex with me when I’m on my period, I don’t really see him getting pity head out of it. I’m the one in horrible pain, not him. I would do it if I felt like it, and not if I didn’t.
Guys need to grow up. All women get their periods. Seriously, get the fuck over it. You should be happy that I GOT my period, and we don’t have to have a very, very uncomfortable conversation about that I DIDN’T.
Hehe. Before the vasectomy, even though we used birth control, periods were always an occasion for my husband and I to share a “not pregnant” high five.
Now they’re just crampy and annoying…
You CAN get pregnant while on your period… it just depends on when you are ovulating, some women ovulate then
I don’t do it because it’s messy and icky. Plus, I’m usually bitchy, in pain, and have no desire for it at ALL during that time. Why would I want to put myself or him through that?
My boyfriend and I have sex on the rag all the time. I have crazy cramps and I bleed lots but it isn’t a problem. Often, I have sex to *relieve* my cramps :) He’s never been grossed out by it and we’ve never made a mess. Put a towel down you don’t care about so you don’t have to worry about the sheets. Use a condom because your menstrual fluids stick to the condom. Keep your underwear on until your done with the make-outs and ready to proceed to in-outs. Quite simple really. Just like regular sex except you are more sensitive and depending on your hormonal cycle, more easily aroused, you are emotional and thus more passionate (which is y’know, fun), and you’re cramps feel better. Rag sex = yay! Plus the post-coitus cuddling is nice when you’re crampy too.
seriously, sex is sooo good at helping cramps!
I’m cringing just thinking about it. My cramps get so bad that I literally want to die. The idea that having something shoved up my vag would actually HELP is mind boggling to me.
Same here!
orgasm is a very natural and very amazing form of pain killer
^ I’m sure it is…but I don’t think I’d be able to handle intercourse with cramps, I really don’t.
I don’t much fancy the idea of full sex during that time either but there are other ways to orgasm that are very effective.
^ True……but masturbating does absolutely NOTHING for me, and there is no way I’d want my fiance to go down on me during “girly time”.
I think I’m just stuck with ice cream and tylenol.
seriously, this guy is complaining about period sex, because it’s icky, but one of his suggestions to do instead is anal sex? I will never understand how or why men find sticking their penis in one of the most bacterial ridden areas of a human body erotic. Apparently he’d rather slather fecal residue all over his dick than some period blood.
Agreed. Anal is even more disgusting than period sex, and that’s saying something.
Your ass is EXIT ONLY!
Bwahahahaha that made me laugh.
I’m surprised at so many negative responses here as my wife and I love it. She finds it helps with the cramps and I just love the wetness. Fave part pulling the tampon out with your teeth..yum !
Living in a Muslim culture, the men arn’t supposed to have sex with you during your period. That said, you’re period comes with a ton of perks. People here (Egypt) treat you like a Godess. If you don’t want to get out of bed, it’s completely understood. If you need to eat NOW it’s served. During Ramadan where everybody fasts from sun up to sun down women on their period are encouraged to eat. So the whole ‘magical woman’ thing is still alive and well.
That said, I know a number of women who have learned that hot water stops their flow for a bit. So the old wives trick here is if you really need to get it on during the period, you just hop in the shower or bathtub.
“That said, you’re period comes with a ton of perks. People here (Egypt) treat you like a Godess.”
Wow. Here it’s like, “Oh, you have agonizing cramps? Pop some pills, suck it up, and get your ass in to work”!
And don’t bleed on anything…
I always was a little awkward when it came to sex on my period. Most guys I have been with really didn’t mind, but it made me feel slightly uncomfortable. Not because I was ashamed of my fluids, but because I tend to feel kind of gross during that time (especially at the beginning when your flow is like whoa) and it didn’t really make for the best aphrodisiac having me all awkward and feeling icky.
Now with the birth control that I am on, my period is practically non-existent. I still have some symptoms (mild cramping, grumpiness, horniness) but no blood. It’s actually really nice to not have a period for the first time in ages.
I’m going to pretend I never read this blog. LOL
At the start when there’s not a lot of blood, or at the end. Either in the shower or with him on top in bed, but usually it’s okay. Condoms make it easier, and with showers you clean everything afterwards anyway…
My bf and I used to hate having sex on period, it was just too nasty. but after I read this interesting blog http://sexonperiod.com I learned how to spice it up during these days. Men are so simple, just give them great sex and you will keep them forever, LOL :)