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On Sunday Shawne Merriman, a linebacker with the San Diego Chargers, was arrested for allegedly choking and restraining his celebrity girlfriend, Tila Tequila. Tila, for those of you who don’t know, is famous for having a MySpace profile (remember those?) with scantily clad pictures of herself and a lot of internet friends. She eventually turned this into a short-lived stint as a reality TV star on MTV where the openly bisexual Tila would pit vir against femina to compete for her affections. For the most part, she has sunk down to the D-list in the past year, the highest aspiration an internet star can hope for. So, a marginally famous woman alleges that her sports-famous boyfriend beat her up, what do you imagine the public reaction to be? Support? Maybe using the opportunity to raise some awareness about domestic violence? Turns out that when a case like this involves someone like Tila Tequila, support and/or even believing that what she alleges just might be true is out of the question. Commenters on various blogs and news sites have filled the range from accusing Tila of lying to thanking Merriman and wishing that Tila had been killed at her boyfriend’s hand. Even our sister blog Evil Beet Gossip is on the offense and claims that Tila’s supposed false accusations against Merriman make other DV victims less likely to come forward because they won’t be believed. With all due respect to Wendie, I think that a lot of DV victims are afraid of coming forwards not because Tila may or may not be lying, but because of the type of coverage that automatically paints Tila and other female victims of DV as being liars before any evidence has even come through based on their lifestyle. It is analogous to saying that victims of sexual assault won’t come forward not because of media coverage and/or court system that is typically skeptical of sexual assault victims but because one person lied about being raped.
See here is the thing: a lot of people dislike Tila Tequila. She is a tiny fame hungry monster who has little shame and even less clothing covering her toned body. But does this automatically mean that she is lying about being abused by her boyfriend or, as some of the nastier people out there seem to believe, deserved to get beaten up? Merriman for his part denies the accusations that Tila has brought against him and said that Tila was drunk and he was trying to keep her from driving while intoxicated. (Apparently, taking her keys and calling a cab or, I don’t know, inviting your girlfriend to stay at your house for the night was out of the question.) Tila responded on her Twitter that she wasn’t drunk because she is “allergic to alcohol,” which isn’t even a real thing and then began posting various Tweets about steroids leading to aggressive behavior, insinuating that her boyfriend took ‘roids, an accusation that sadly, could probably get him kicked off the Chargers faster than accusations that he chokes his 4′11″ girlfriend on his down time. (The tweets were promptly removed, probably after her lawyer called her and told her to STFU.) Sigh. There really are no clear winners here. It’s like watching Michelle Bachmann and Orly Taitz wrestle for a chance to win “Stupidest Wingnut.”
Look, we don’t know what happened between Tila and her boyfriend and we can’t pretend that we know what did happen because of their public personas which are frankly, not in great shape. I’m not saying Merriman beat Tila for sure but I am also not going to accuse her of lying. Both of them sound like a couple of tools, quite frankly. But maybe instead of starting off a public conversation about domestic violence with unsubstantiated accusations that the female victim is lying or that she “deserved it” just because she likes to be in front of a camera we instead talked about the problem of domestic violence in this country and held back our personal opinions on the case until facts start to trickle in and the case becomes more clear. What kind of message are we sending to men and women who are living in an abusive situation if we immediately blame the victim in this case? Domestic violence is a serious crime and a serious problem with a lot of people in this country. Even if it is Tila Tequila, a loathsome tiny plastic person who would probably sell her father if it got her another lame reality television show, can’t we just hold back on the blaming of her in the serious accusations of domestic violence?
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The reason we are doubting her is because: Merriman claimed Tila was extremely intoxicated, AND inebriated (which implies something other than alcohol causing impairment) and he called her a cab. Tila fired back on Twitter that she’s ‘allergic’ (damn, no one knows what that term means anymore, really) to alcohol and there’s no way ever that she was drunk or even drinking, and that her name comes from the irony of her supposed allergy to alcohol.
But, as it has been pointed out, Tila has posted Tweets where she claims to have been tied a few ALCOHOL-ic drinks under her belt. When she realized her mistake, she backpeddled and pulled Tweets she had made, or set her entire thread to private.
THIS is why she’s being scrutinized. She may have a SENSITIVITY to alcohol (i.e. she may be a lightweight) but she still partakes, if you trus what SHE herself Twittered.
I’m just wondering, is there any real evidence that Merriman attacked her? Does she have any bruises, cuts, scrapes, or contusions? I’m not saying that she absolutely has to have them to be taken seriously, but.. if she has withdrawn her complaint and there is no proof he actually attacked her, you have to go with logic on this one.
Sorry, Maria-Mercedes.. you fail.
Yeah, I’m pretty much with abqemt here. I’ve read about this in a few places and haven’t seen any evidence that she was attacked, which reduces the whole thing to a he-says-she-says. And, of the two, the only person I know who has publicly been less than truthful about anything is Tila.
Yeah, I totally agree. That’s pretty hypocritical for her to say and I’d think people who actually have a severe allergy to alcohol would get annoyed that she’d untruthfully use that as an excuse.
thank you! I am severely allergic to barley, which means most alcoholic drinks, Grape-Nuts cereal, many breads and such. I was pulled over and given a breathylizer, and it came up 0.00, but he took me in as a drunk anyways *for stopping for ugly possums crossing the freeway, hehe*. I had to prove in court, with medical records from barley-induced hospital visits, that there was no way i had supposedly admitted to having several beers and was not, in fact, drunk. For people like tila to LIE about all kinds of things, alcohol allergy being the least, makes people like me look stupid and as if we are copying our favorite idiot celebrity.
Well I agree it is very early for the general public to either declare Tila a liar, or to assume the guilt of Merriman, I don’t necessarily feel that people should avoid forming an opinion on either individual just because domestic violence is involved. It is not ‘blaming the victim’, it is calculating available facts and past histories to try to make sense of what happened.
Did anyone wait for Chris Brown to be convicted before they began to assume his guilt (perhaps we should have, but that does not mean we did, and I don’t think there were many complaints about placing blame before it was due). Much like in the Chris Brown case, slowly facts are being revealed which are causing the public to form an opinion. Just because this time the opinion is being formed against the victim does not make it a case blaming the victim.
We all saw the pictures of Rihanna’s face though…
Exactly. I don’t WANT to not believe it, but a) Tila Tequila is insane and b) there’s no real evidence. Rhianna is not insane and had bruises on her face. Crazy nutjob+no evidence=people doubting.
She was taken to the hospital, but released when there was no evidence of physical abuse found. Thats why no charges were made agasint Merriman.
I had pretty much skimmed your article before, when I made my first comment, but after rereading it, I have to wonder: do you even check your facts? Alot of the posts by the writers here come off as ’shot-off’ articles, meaning they’re written in haste, with a whole lotta opinion and very little evidence-backed statements.
What in my post is inaccurate? If you are going to claim that I write inaccurate posts then you should probably make references.
Let’s start with this post.
I reread it again, and perhaps it’s not a matter of accuracy. However, what gets to me is that basically in the same breath as saying that Merriman denied hurting Tila and actually tried to either arrange for transportion/wait for someone to pick her up, you throw in a comment that apparently asking her to stay over, or calling her a cab was out of the question. And you said that right after posting a link to Merriman’s claims. I don’t get it. That just smacks of bitterness, opportunism (to rail on a guy), and irrationality based on emotion.
Alot of your posts in particular can be like this. It’s a trend I’ve noticed; you seem to be the writer who bases alot of her articles on personal feelings/issues with the subject.
i hate her i hate her i hate herrrr
make her go awayyyyyyyyyy UGHHHHHHH she drives me nuts! i cant even write coherently b/c im so consumed with frustration and irritation at that stupid lil alien.
I don’t feel like I need to take Tila’s side just because I’m a woman, which is what I feel like the article is suggesting. It doesn’t mean I think every woman is lying about domestic abuse and it doesn’t mean I support domestic abuse. I really just believe she’s lying to get attention.. end of story. She has lied on several occasions to the public and I feel like there is no reason to trust anything she says, it’s like the little boy who cries wolf… or in this case the little drunkard who cried abuse. Until she has proof or any type of withstanding evidence the only thing I will believe is that she is trying to ruin her ex-boyfriend’s career.
You pretty much took the words right out of my mouth. I just don’t see any reasonable evidence that she’s telling the truth, to be honest.
I totally agree.
Feminism means equality for both sexes, not always siding with women just because you are one.
I suppose it’s possible that I’m wrong about this, but hey, if you’ve basically built a public personna off lying fr attention, don’t come running angry when no one buys your next round of bs.
Word.
i totally agree. well said, zelda.
I haven’t been quick to dump on her, but I have been quick to disbelieve her.
She completely and totally lied about being drunk. He claims her drunkenness was the problem.
There are two people telling two different stories and only one of them can be proven to be a liar in this case. That’s the one I’m not going to believe. Nothing else makes sense.
How dare you?
When the story first broke, I felt really sad that Tila Tequila had suffered at the hands of another. I even expressed that sentiment in the piece I wrote. Allow me to refresh your memory on my exact words: “I was very sad to hear about the alleged abuse she suffered over the weekend at the hands of her boyfriend, San Diego Chargers star Shawne Merriman. Even talentless famewhores don’t deserve to suffer at the hands of another — not Tila, not even Mischa. And though I feel she may be truth-challenged, I’d never want to turn my back on a victim, especially one brave enough to come forward.”
So let’s not paint it like I was so quick to disbelieve and trash TT. The disbelief came when her conflicting and inflammatory statements (implying Merriman’s steroid use yet then quickly deleting those Tweets, that she doesn’t drink, etc.) were coupled with the DA deciding to set Merriman free after speaking with him. It is an absolute disgrace to domestic violence victims everywhere to levy accusations at someone if they are false. Do you think Tila Tequila in any way bettered the cause for women who are afraid to come forward? She’s potentially making a joke of a completely unfunny situation.
We STILL don’t know what the truth is — which I ALSO indicated: “I don’t know who’s lying, but I hope the truth comes out in the end. Domestic abuse is wrong on every level as is a false accusation of domestic violence.” — and I’m very happy that the San Diego DA’s office is investigating this. But if you are going to claim abuse, you damn well better be truthful in ALL your testimony regarding the accusation and chain of events. Otherwise, you’re just a tequila-swilling joke who has no credibility.
Girl, what took you so long?
I was honestly befuddled by this article, and it shows what I was talking about in my earlier comment – fact checking fail, and very emotion-based writing.
Yes, well I’m feeling a little emotional right now too. As in, oh … I dunno … fucking pissed. Domestic violence is a topic I feel SO passionately about, on both a personal and universal level. To be lumped into a “Why Are So Quick To Dump On Tila Tequila?” article is perhaps one of the most insulting events of my professional life as a writer.
Yeah, I’m that angry.
You have every right to be pissed. You’re unfairly linked to something that is a misrepresentation of what you believe for core values. What I meant is that rather than, you know, actually read your article(s), MML seemingly quite intentionally took what you had written out of context. That’s poor jornalism, to let your emotions carry you that far away to the point where you’re misquoting sources, looking for a story that isn’t there.
You’re in the right on this one.
Wendie, you shouldn’t have to explain or defend yourself. “Blaming the victim”?? As-fucking-IF. You’ve carefully outlined this whole story as it has unfolded–genital warts and all.
If TT thinks for one second that she was truly abused, charges would have been filed. It sounds as though no one thinks she was hurt; not hospital staff and most importantly, not the authorities. As I recall, Rihanna wasn’t too keen on pressing charges, but had to. A crime was committed.
No, Wendie. You DIDN’T have to defend yourself–we’ll do it for you.
j
And this is why I adore you, Wendie.
Perfectly said.
If Tila is alllergic to alcahol then why wasn’t she sick during the taping of all her shitty shows? She drank constantly and was drunk many of the shows. She is completely full of shit and is a lier.That’s why her lawyer told her to shut The Fuc- Up. She is not only a lier but very stupid. She just bit the hand that fed her. Cast her to the streets.
and she it was proven that she lied again. she tweeted that she had an appointment to see the d.a. the d.a. wasn’t expecting tila. she wasn’t scheduled for a meeting. i just wish i understood her logic.
big fail for you maria. better luck next time. i’m going to check out your other articles to see if they’re as poorly written and researched as this one.
maybe beet should, too.