BREAKING: Feminists Don’t Hate Men

exposefeminismA new study has discovered something that female feminists have known for years: feminists don’t hate men. The study, conducted at the University of Houston, interviewed just under 500 college students and asked them about their attitudes towards men. The respondents, a diverse sampling of men and women, had to correctly define feminism and label themselves as “feminist,” “nonfeminist,” or “unsure.” Their hostility and benevolence towards men was recorded on a scale of 0 to 5 and–well, what do you know–both white and non-white female feminists felt less hostility towards men than their non-feminist counterparts. Imagine that, a stereotype of feminists was wrong!

What makes this study interesting is that it illustrates how accepting a patriarchal society doesn’t leave women feeling any more satisfied with a culture that marginalizes them. Melina Kanner, one of the researches, observed a possible cause for this:

Our work finds that, indeed, non-feminists believe in traditional gender roles such as men being breadwinners and women being caregivers. At the same time, these non-feminists actually appear to resent the confines of the traditional roles they advocate, which presents a paradox for women and men in traditional heterosexual relationships.

This all seems pretty obvious to those of us who self-identify as feminists. Feminism isn’t about being mad or hostile towards men, it is about questioning a society that uses clearly defined gender roles to keep one gender on the bottom. What feminists–both male and female–are hostile towards is misogyny. So if you are a man and you get angry with feminists because you think they are out to destroy you, you should probably re-think what you think it is to be a man and what feminists are actually trying to “destroy.” If you think that being a man means being able to keep women in a submissive role, then maybe you need to go see a therapist.

That said, why aren’t more women coming out and identifying themselves as feminists? It would seem that if non-feminists were unhappy with men in a patriarchal society they would want to, you know, change that society? Why would you want to go through life being hostile towards men? Some, in fact most, men are actually kinda cool. And some of them don’t like the gender roles they are also forced to be a part of. I know a lot of women who say they don’t want to identify with feminism because they see mainstream feminism as being alienating to women who aren’t white, middle class and straight (a valid argument) but usually these women all agree with feminist principles. On the other hand, I also know a lot of young women (and men) who reject feminism because they think that all feminists are humorless boner-killing feminazis who are out to turn every woman into a weeping rape victim and cut the testicles off of every man who so much as admits that they are attracted to females. “Run for your lives, good gals and gents of America: It’s the FEMINISTS!” Hopefully, once those people see this study, they will realize that feminists don’t hate men.



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49 thoughts on “BREAKING: Feminists Don’t Hate Men

  1. Let me point out that I hate stereotypes concerning women; namely, women drivers, feminists hate men, etc.

    While it annoys me a tad that a STUDY had to be conducted to prove that feminists, in fact, don’t hate men, nevertheless I am glad that there is actually proof that they don’t.

    I tend to think that the people who think feminists hate men are the ones who hate independent women.

    • It is not a problem with hating independent women. That is fine for me. No woman who is with me is gonna quit work, have me keep her for 20 yrs, then turn round and hate me for it and blaming me for ruining her life.
      The point of true FEMINISM is equal rights / society for women.
      Which I am all for.
      But most women who claim to be feminist are not, they are just female chauvinist pigs – kind of like they accuse all men to be.
      They justify any view they have, even when that view is negative towards women, as being a feminist view, when it is not, just as they are female. Which if you disagree with, even if your view is pro female equality, then you are a sexist pig if you are male, or a broken mindless drone , to the patriarchal system if you are female

  2. The idea that feminists hate men is just silly, quite frankly. Men make up roughly 50% of the people on earth. I’d have to be a really stupid bitch to decide to hate that many people. Hell, it’s not even possible to know that many people.

  3. What is wrong with “gender roles”? I don’t have a problem with my assigned role but if I did I wouldn’t burden society with my neurosis.

    • There is only 2 gender roles that are ok. Only as biology dictates these
      Men get women pregnent.
      Women get pregnent from men.
      Out side of this there is no gender roles that applies to society today.
      Women can do any job a man can, even heavy jobs.
      Heck I am proud that my country was 1 of the 1st in the world to put females into frontline infantry combat roles in the army, and female officers over male combat troops, . That they were also 1 of the 1st to have female sailors in combat stations, warships, during combat.
      Gender roles just do not apply now.
      Women have found success in every position that was generally believed to be for males only, conversly males have found success in the few tasks that were believed to be for females only

      • Well what if women are happy with their traditional gender roles and don’t want their whole life turned upside down by feminists? Should they be thought of as weak and pathetic because they are happy with their femininity? If you want to live like a man go ahead but don’t push it on those who don’t want it.

        • Live like a man? If you have a job you’re living like a man? My life hasn’t been “turned upside down” because I have the option to work.

          I’m a SAHM, but I wasn’t always. I never felt forced into any role. But if I didn’t have the opportunity to work outside the house, an opportunity that was given to me by the feminist movement, I would be forced into it.
          I wouldn’t enjoy my life as a SAHM as much if I didn’t know I had the option to return to work when I wanted to.

          And for the record, my femininity was completely intact when I was the breadwinner for my family and my husband was the one staying home with the kids.

          You have some seriously assbackwards views.

        • You sound like you need medication or something Alzaetia. You always misread people’s posts and fly into hysterics. My post was about gender roles not about working vs. SAHM. Women have always worked, my grandmother worked in the 1940′s and she wasn’t a feminist. Feminism is a whole other ball of wax. Next time sit back, relax, and actually read what someone wrote so you can avoid looking like a nut.

        • Having a job isn’t living like a man. It’s living like a person with a job.
          Working outside of the home isn’t a display of masculinity. Being a housewife isn’t a woman embracing her femininity.
          The feminist movement hasn’t turned my life upside down.
          If your grandmother expected to make as much money for doing her job as a man would’ve made, she was a feminist.

  4. No 1 is gonna admit to being a hater. surveys like this are useless, as people tend to lie, just not to get dis-approval from others. Also all think that they are fairer minded then they actually are.
    The only way you can tell is by having discussions with people, and interacting with them over time .
    My experience with females who claim to be feminist, have an intrinsic hate for males. It seems it stems from a hate of the sexism in society, culture, and government, which they can not do anything about, so feel powerless, and impotent, which makes them angry, which they take out on guys they can interact with and affect.

    • “intrinsic hate for males”? Wow. Just…wow. That is one of the silliest things I’ve heard in a long time.

      But what do I know? I’m “powerless and impotent”. Oh, and let’s not forget “angry”.

      *snicker*

      • If you read my other posts then you should know that I am not against modern, independent women , who want , and should have equal rights. If you are one of those then you should have no trouble with me.
        If you are a female chauvinistic pig—- SORRY I mean a feminist.
        Then you proved my point you are all a bunch of haters— well at least when you are not taking a survey anyway.
        Feminists/ female chauvinist pigs saying they do not hate men, is kinda like that muslim cleric who said that if the POPE did not take back the comment that the muslim faith is a violent 1, then western streets would run with christian blood.
        Scoff all you want at that powerlessness comment, but it is a part of human psychology to do this.
        Heck must be true as lawyers use this all time to get ethnics off on rape , violence ,and murder charges

        • I’m kinda starting to understand why the “feminists” that you know come across as abrasive. Maybe you’re just a dick and they don’t like you. Maybe it’s personal.

          I’m taking issue with the fact that you’re saying that feminists are “female chauvinist pigs.” Feminists are people that believe in equality. Some feminists are total bitches. That doesn’t make all feminists bad.

      • I know a lot of feminists like that too. I studied women in politics in grad school and most of the women in the class were that kind of feminist. There was a lot of bitterness going around, a perception that men were trying to keep women out of politics. Some of these women would support any political candidate so long as they didn’t have a penis. Some even supported Carla Howell for governor of Massachusetts and that woman is totally certifiable and totally clueless.

        I’m all for equality but the people who are walking about saying women are intrinsically better than men drive me crazy. Women are better at some thing, men are better at some things, and the human race needs both varieties to survive.

        • I too know many women this way, both from university and having been a member of several feminist groups (prior to being trounced out due to my disagreement on unrelated political topics). My mother is in fact one, point in case her going into raging histrionics when I decided to take my husband’s name.

          There are a good number of “all men are rapists” feminists out there, the scary ones are those that perceive the evil hand of patriarchy everywhere and are in positions of persuasion, like a hefty chunk of my Humanities professors.

      • Yep I can come across as a dick.
        And I should have put feminist in inverted commas as you did, for the sense I was using it in.
        Basically we agree on what a modern woman should be and have, and their place in society . All we are disagreeing on is a term of what that should be called.

    • Sorry but I”m pretty sure you have clearly met that rare breed of crazy psycho man-hating “feminist” and assume we are all this way. I hate sexism in society but I certainly don’t hate men for it because it is caused by individuals or groups of individuals, certainly not the male gender as a whole (which is a ridiculous concept).

      • I have ony ever met women and man haters.
        All the man haters call themselves feminists, none of the women really do( even though they want and rightly expect equality), and live by what the definition of feminism is.
        As I have said I just hate the term feminist, not the empowerment or equality of women, that the ideals of the movement started for

      • Oh they hate me all right , even before I have said a word I have been branded a rapist, and pedophile, misogynist, and treated with contempt just as of the sex I was born in.
        WOOT way to go equality of the sexes.
        As some1 pointed out I have been unlucky enough that the only women I have met who have claimed to be feminists are actually feminazis( lol great term btw).
        Funny that women who do not claim to be feminist, but embrace female equality ,all seem to like me, think I am a great guy.Only the ones who claim to be feminists who do not really know me that well, that stereotype 48% of the worlds population negatively seem to hate me.
        And as I keep stating I have a problem with the term feminism, not it’s ideals or goals of the original movement which I support.
        I am against people branding themselve a thing in general, as they tend to think that their personal views reflect that of what they are branding themselves, though in most cases that is totally contra to the views and goals of the movement.
        True Feminists should not be man haters, but most I have met who claim to be are.
        True Feminists should accept men as equals, if the men treats her as an equal. But mostly the 1′s I have met do not.
        True Feminists should return the repect that men show them, But most of the 1′s I have met do not, they treat men with total disadain.
        It seems that you are not actually reading my posts.
        I am saying I hate the TERM: FEMINIST as of the negative experiences I have of people who brand themselves this.
        You seem to be reading that I am saying that I hate female independence, equality, and empowerment ( which the feminist movement originally started/ grew for).
        Which I clearly am not. I am saying the exact opposite.

  5. What a load of nonsense. Having a traditional role doesn’t mean that women hate men or that men hate women. I know lots of housewives and SAHMs and we all chose this role in life. There’s this whole perception that women who choose to stay home and take care of their home and family and submissive and have no mind of their own. That is total BS. I’ve worked in many different fields from being a teacher to being a CFO of a small company and being a housewife is by far the hardest role and the most responsible.

    The women who hate being in this role are the ones who are listening to society telling them they are somehow lesser for not going out and doing some other job. In this society it takes some courage to stand up and say you’re a housewife and actually enjoy it. It makes me very sad that it’s actually easier to say you work outside the home and pay someone else to raise your children than it does to say you raise your own family.

    • I have to take the survey group into account. They’re all college students. They aren’t housewives. Maybe they have a perception that wouldn’t be backed up by reality.
      I’d like to see this study done on a broader base of women. Less than 500 college students from one campus just doesn’t seem like a very good cross sampling.
      Not that I think we’d discover feminists hate men, or anything. But you might find that less women who are in “traditional” roles “hate” men. Most women who are in tradtional roles today chose those roles.
      If women are in a role that they don’t like, and in a relationship where they don’t have a choice, maybe they hate men because they’re with controlling assholes.

  6. My mother-in-law says it was easier when she was growing up in the 1940′s because people got married so young that neither men nor women had the chance to develop individual identities. Now as we marry older and older, women in particular have had careers, friends, social networks, activities that have helped to define them as more than just one thing (i.e. a mommy or a wife). So if you’re in your late 20s or older, some women view becoming a SAHM as akin to giving up themselves, their identity, their passions.

    Most of the SAHMs I know irritate the fuck out of me because they’ve chosen to be SAHMs but they bitch continuously about how hard and unfulfilling it all is but that they can’t possibly go back to work because that’s a betrayal to the kids.

    I don’t have a problem with women choosing to stay at home, but don’t play the martyr card. You knew what you were choosing to do, why are you so surprised that your days consist of the Wiggles, play dates, and meal planning?

    • I’m a SAHM and I bitch about how hard it is, but not about it being unfulfilling. I don’t think I bitch any more than my friend who works outside the home and misses her son, though.

      • I know not every SAHM is that way. And this is more than just the usual “It’s hard and I’m exhausted” it’s like listening to someone who hates their job and blames everyone else for their inability to change their situation.

    • No one realizes how hard being a SAHM is until they do it. I think they’re frustrated that society doesn’t value them as much as someone who goes to an office. Working women have a certain arrogance about themselves and have a condescending attitude towards SAHMs.

      • I’ve never gotten arrogance from a working mother. Usually I get envy. Not mean spirited envy, just a general sense that they’d be happier if they could spend more time with their kids.

        • Ooh! I’ve gotten pity and arrogance from SAHMs. You know, it’s a pity I don’t have kids and it’s a pity I don’t seem to want them and it’s a pity that my career is so important to me. And then the arrogance with the “You don’t know tired until you’ve chased a 2 year old all day, you don’t know satisfaction until you’ve breastfed for three years, you don’t know what it is to be a woman until you’ve had a child.” I can’t tell you how arrogant those statements are.

          But I do know SAHMs who do enjoy it and even though they get tired and frustrated they don’t act like it’s my fault or their husband’s fault or society’s fault.

        • I’m sorry people are dicks. I’ve noticed people seem to feel the need to cut down other people’s choices when they’re unsure of their own.
          I do have a satisfaction as a mother I wouldn’t have had otherwise. But that’s because I always wanted kids. If I’d never wanted kids, or was unsure, I’m sure I’d be living happily without them.

        • I’ve had arrogance from working moms. I’ve had women tell me that they couldn’t possibly stay home because they’d be bored stupid and they need the stimulation of a real job. Oddly enough those same women come to me when they want advice on cleaning, cooking, and child rearing. It’s the ones who try and argue that them working is better for their kid and then in the next breath tell some story about how they dropped their sick kid off at daycare at 7am where they slept all day on a nap mat that drive me crazy. I’m pretty sure that 99.99% of kids would rather be home in their own bed being cared for by a parent while sick rather than lying on the floor with other kids making noise all around them.

        • @Rhonda
          And I try not to be that woman. I mean, I don’t have kids so I can’t do the second part of your post, but as a working woman I try not to demean my friends who are choosing the path of a SAHM and to be as supportive as I possibly can because after all, feminism is about choice and not feeling alienated for making that choice.

  7. @ SentWest
    Do those “all men are rapist castrate them crowd” , also say all “men use the internet just for kiddie porn ” ????
    As the 1′s I know do

    • Nah, it’s a little more sophisticated than that. More along the line of “all men are actually in plain fact rapists and active contributors to the oppressive patriarchy, but they don’t know it and we have to help them understand that they should happily castrate themselves in shame.”

      Of course, this is a condensation of 4 years of hearing rhetoric coming from a very insular university community.

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