Comments on: Women Often Revert To “Bad” Behavior After Childbirth

By: jkate

jkate — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 11:35:26 +0000

Oh man, I once babysat for “that girl”. She rushed out of the house so fast she didn’t even bother to tell me that one of her two children was at her grandmother’s house, which meant that I freaked out when I went to check on the sleeping children. I called the bar she was at (this was pre-cell phones) and sorted that one out, but then she just… didn’t come home. I was only fifteen, and fell asleep on the couch, only to awaken at four-thirty to see my own mother standing anxiously in the middle of the living room. We dumped the girl off at her grandmother’s at about five-thirty and then my mother – miraculously – let me skip school the next morning. (Yes, it was a school night.)

The mystery was, of course, where was this woman? I lived in a small town and all the bars closed at 2:30 anyway. She called me the next day to apologize and explain that she had run into an old friend and, you know, they just wanted to hang out. Even I knew what that meant. She eventually paid me something like two-fifty, in quarters.

The sad thing is that she committed suicide recently, and now there’s a big custody issue because her three children all have different fathers. I didn’t mean this as a morality tale, but I guess her behaviour was covering up some other pretty serious issues.

By: Harriet Meadow

Harriet Meadow — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:31:45 +0000

I apologize. I read more into your comment than was there.

Also, I’ve been thinking more about this issue, and I think that, for me, the problem is that even if “light alcohol consumption” doesn’t harm the baby after the first trimester, most people don’t understand what “light alcohol consumption” is. It’s a slippery slope from having one glass of wine twice a week to having a glass of wine every night, then two glasses…especially when people have had substance abuse problems before, such as the people being talked about in the article. I think that it’s safer not to drink during pregnancy at all, to avoid the risk of going beyond the acceptable amount.

By: MissPinkKate

MissPinkKate — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:10:14 +0000

Who was being defensive? I was asking a reasonable question about the study.

By: Charissa

Charissa — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 13:25:33 +0000

I agree with thatLisa, the “a baby won’t change me at all” attitude transcends class and income level.

I think it’s great to do more adult things when the kids reach a certain age and can be left with someone without distressing them, but it really makes me mad when I see people so slavishly devoted to their pre-child lifestyle that the kid becomes no more than an accessory.

By: Luci

Luci — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 10:11:07 +0000

btw, I read that a woman can easily get rid of addictions during pregnancy because we segregate extra amounts of serotonine, aka “the happiness neurotransmitter”

By: Luci

Luci — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 10:08:50 +0000

totally agree with the article
I would like to point out one thing: we should have a problem with this non-desireable behavior if any of both parents have it, because its a two’s responsability right?

By: Harriet Meadow

Harriet Meadow — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 04:49:48 +0000

I agree with you. It makes me so sad when I see people who have children but do not become parents. Abstinence, birth control, abortion, and adoption are all options in our society – if you don’t want to be a parent, take advantage of them!

By: Harriet Meadow

Harriet Meadow — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 04:47:50 +0000

She actually doesn’t say what level of “consumption” she’s talking about, so I’m assuming that it runs the gamut from “light alcohol consumption” to “still a lush.” The question is – why are you so defensive about it?

By: MissPinkKate

MissPinkKate — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 01:10:25 +0000

The same study shows that one in eight women still consume alcohol while pregnant.

Yes, and? Light alcohol consumption after the first trimester has not proven to be harmful to developing babies. Why is that behavior being lumped in with other, more harmful levels of alcohol consumption?

By: thatLisa

thatLisa — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 00:45:18 +0000

you had me until the welfare thing– mostly, because the people that I know who are “that girl” have never been on welfare.

but regardless… I cannot say how much I hate these people. I do not understand why they had children if they clearly do not want the huge responsibility attached.