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Women Often Revert To “Bad” Behavior After Childbirth
10 Comments | Posted by Sarah in drug addiction, pregnancy
A new study by the National Survey of Drug Use and Health states that women who abuse substances prior to childbirth and pregnancy, even if they avoid it at all costs during pregnancy, often fall back into their old ways after the birth of their child. Within three months.
The same study shows that one in eight women still consume alcohol while pregnant.
The new information relates that thirty-one percent of women surveyed resumed their practices of drinking, smoking or drug use after pregnancy. According to Peter Delany, head of Applied Sciences in the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration who conducted the study, states that the issue:
“is that having children creates a protective factor so that women may not be going back to drug use.”
Yet, thirty-one percent of women surveyed did, in fact, go back to their sometimes-detrimental pre-childbirth behavior.
The study itself could be a double-edged sword. It’s one thing if a woman who was a meth head or a coke head prior to pregnancy and resumed after giving birth to her child; it’s an entirely different hue of horse if the woman goes back to smoking cigarettes or having the occasional glass of wine, or even a raucous night out on the town every once in a great while. I found out I was pregnant at age twenty-three. I was living with my fiance, and at the time, we had the date set for our wedding and all of the plans were in motion for the following fall. However, my daughter, who impetuously from conception insisted that it was going to be her way or the highway, came into the picture a few years ahead of schedule. That is neither here nor there; she is a blessing and whether she came when she did or five years from now would make no difference. My husband and I were ready for her from the get-go and prepared in every way that we knew best.
I used to be a lead singer of a local cover band and traveled the Tri-State (Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey) area for over three years playing gigs and partying on a nightly basis. Even after I met my husband-to-be, I continued my journey with the band, despite his worry. Up until the winter preceding the conception bombshell, my band days continued. Christmas of that particular year arrived and I decided to do a little soul-searching. I decided to leave the band, after almost four years of good times and concentrate more on my life ahead with my then-fiance. Almost like clockwork, I became pregnant, even while on The Pill. Like I said, this little girl was having her way one way or another. Nothing could stop her then and sure as shit, nothing can stop her now. I found out I was pregnant in March of 2007 and gave birth to a lovely little lady that following November.
Despite my hard-partying ways prior to settling down, I really never had the urge to return to those ways, even for a brief visit. Don’t get me wrong — I don’t think there’s anything wrong whatsoever with the mom or couple who gets a responsible babysitter and decides to go tie one on every now and again. I don’t think anything wrong of the mother who struggled with quitting smoking during their pregnancy, to accomplish it, but to go back to smoking cigarettes shortly after birth. It’s unfortunate, but hey — it happens. Including from my own, personal experience.
However, what does perturb me is the woman who, despite giving birth — one of life’s supposedly magical, life-changing experiences — continues her life as if she doesn’t have a new, living, breathing being to care for day in and day out. You all know “that girl.” The one who dumps her kids off on the first willing sitter, even if they’re half-senile ninety year old women or ten year old girls who haven’t a speck of experience in newborn care. These are the same girls who decide to conveniently not come home at night, whether it’s to their husbands or to another family member because they drunkenly decide that whomever they felt was worthy enough to watch the child for a few hours could surely, unnannounced-ly, keep the child overnight. You know, without the overnight bag of diapers, or bottles or anything else that may be necessary to care for a young child during the evening and early morning hours.
These are the same women who often neglect their children’s most basic needs, such as a fresh diaper every once in awhile or buying baby cereal because their drug or drink habit is more important. These are the women who rely on the system to fund their habits and perpetuate the neglect of their offspring. It happens. I’ve seen it. I’ve known people like that. Instead of giving these people welfare money to blow on makeup and beer and pot, regulate it a little more so that it’s specifically tailored for the children to benefit the most, as the welfare program was originally intended to. I’m getting a little off-topic and that’s another story for another day, but I think you’ve all seen a woman (or even man) like this.
Bottom line: I don’t have a problem with women who responsibly continue not-so-awful pre-pregnancy behavior, but I do have a problem with the ones who continue life-debilitating habits such as meth, coke or heroin. Bottom line? You just don’t do that kind of crap if you’re a mother to a new child. Or a child, period.
you had me until the welfare thing– mostly, because the people that I know who are “that girl” have never been on welfare.
but regardless… I cannot say how much I hate these people. I do not understand why they had children if they clearly do not want the huge responsibility attached.
I agree with you. It makes me so sad when I see people who have children but do not become parents. Abstinence, birth control, abortion, and adoption are all options in our society – if you don’t want to be a parent, take advantage of them!
The same study shows that one in eight women still consume alcohol while pregnant.
Yes, and? Light alcohol consumption after the first trimester has not proven to be harmful to developing babies. Why is that behavior being lumped in with other, more harmful levels of alcohol consumption?
She actually doesn’t say what level of “consumption” she’s talking about, so I’m assuming that it runs the gamut from “light alcohol consumption” to “still a lush.” The question is – why are you so defensive about it?
Who was being defensive? I was asking a reasonable question about the study.
I apologize. I read more into your comment than was there.
Also, I’ve been thinking more about this issue, and I think that, for me, the problem is that even if “light alcohol consumption” doesn’t harm the baby after the first trimester, most people don’t understand what “light alcohol consumption” is. It’s a slippery slope from having one glass of wine twice a week to having a glass of wine every night, then two glasses…especially when people have had substance abuse problems before, such as the people being talked about in the article. I think that it’s safer not to drink during pregnancy at all, to avoid the risk of going beyond the acceptable amount.
totally agree with the article
I would like to point out one thing: we should have a problem with this non-desireable behavior if any of both parents have it, because its a two’s responsability right?
btw, I read that a woman can easily get rid of addictions during pregnancy because we segregate extra amounts of serotonine, aka “the happiness neurotransmitter”
I agree with thatLisa, the “a baby won’t change me at all” attitude transcends class and income level.
I think it’s great to do more adult things when the kids reach a certain age and can be left with someone without distressing them, but it really makes me mad when I see people so slavishly devoted to their pre-child lifestyle that the kid becomes no more than an accessory.
Oh man, I once babysat for “that girl”. She rushed out of the house so fast she didn’t even bother to tell me that one of her two children was at her grandmother’s house, which meant that I freaked out when I went to check on the sleeping children. I called the bar she was at (this was pre-cell phones) and sorted that one out, but then she just… didn’t come home. I was only fifteen, and fell asleep on the couch, only to awaken at four-thirty to see my own mother standing anxiously in the middle of the living room. We dumped the girl off at her grandmother’s at about five-thirty and then my mother – miraculously – let me skip school the next morning. (Yes, it was a school night.)
The mystery was, of course, where was this woman? I lived in a small town and all the bars closed at 2:30 anyway. She called me the next day to apologize and explain that she had run into an old friend and, you know, they just wanted to hang out. Even I knew what that meant. She eventually paid me something like two-fifty, in quarters.
The sad thing is that she committed suicide recently, and now there’s a big custody issue because her three children all have different fathers. I didn’t mean this as a morality tale, but I guess her behaviour was covering up some other pretty serious issues.