Time Magazine Publishes Gay Facebook Guide For The Clueless

Good gravy. Time has an article out about “How To Come Out on Facebook.” Really, Time? This is your contribution to the gay conversation? I don’t have anything against Time and I am sure that they have plenty of hip, interesting people writing for them, but there is something about the magazine writing “how-tos” for Facebook that gives me the same reaction I get when my dad asks me to sign him up for a Twitter account. That is, it makes me cringe slightly.

I guess I am being prejudiced. Maybe there are people out there who turn to Time for advice on how to come out on Facebook! Sure, Time is kind of The New Republic for the Midwestern dentist’s office set, but those people need advice on internet etiquette just as much as us arugula-eating abortionists on the coasts. Maybe this is reaching but this article is actually kind of interesting because it does demonstrate a national attitude shift towards gay acceptance. Instead of “How To Come Out on Facebook” we could have had “What To Do When Your Friend Comes Out on Facebook” or, worse, “Are The Gays Defiling Facebook With Their L-Word Quizzes?” It is good that a mainstream national publication is running an article that is not only targeted towards gay people specifically, but also doesn’t try pander to a religious, anti-gay wingnut contingent.

Anyways, on to the article! The author, Caryn Brooks, is a lesbian who finds that Facebook can be somewhat relieving when coming out because it doesn’t require the gay person to constantly re-come out to people in their lives. One change of relationship status (or the always confusing “Interested in”) and your whole social circle knows you’re gay. Great! However, this is pretty much true for everyone on Facebook. If you want to tell everyone you are dating someone new, have a new favorite quote or a fan of “staying up late” (ugh) all you have to do is change your Facebook profile and everyone in your network will be brought up to speed. Naturally, coming out is a whole other kettle of fish, but the problems of oversharing on Facebook shouldn’t be new information to anyone under the age of 45. Indeed, the rest of the article is mostly devoted to detailing the do’s and don’ts of coming out on Facebook, but it really just reads like obvious social networking tips for the clueless:

Good: Noting your relationship in your profile.
Not so good: Tagged photos of you and your partner in matching leather harnesses.

Good: Adding large numbers of LGBT-ish entities to your fan list. Rachel Maddow, female golfers, Harvey Milk, various Calvin Klein models and almost anything related to Gossip Girl will do.
Not so good: Fan-listing gay porn stars.

Good: Highlighting your LGBT identity in your status update on National Coming Out Day.
Not so good: Outing someone else in your status update by announcing a rendezvous.

Good: Telling your parents in person rather than relying on Facebook to do the work for you. C’mon, there are still some things you have to do the old-fashioned way.
Not so good: Duh … Letting your parents figure it out while they try out this newfangled Facebook thing.

Good: Joining your workplace LGBT network on Facebook.
Not so good: Super-poking your hot co-worker.

The article was obviously meant to be a fun, light piece and pretty much every news outlet has some “there’s this new thing called Facebook?” article, so I shouldn’t pick on this article alone. It is really interesting that Time is running a soft piece directed specifically towards gay people, but the lessons learned have probably already been gleaned from anyone who has social skills and access to a computer. I guess my main peeve with the article is this: why is anyone super-poking anyone? That shit is annoying.

coming out, facebook, gay