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I already wrote about this over on Evil Beet, but I feel the need to address it on here, too, from a slightly different angle.
Paris Hilton made a guest appearance on Kathy Griffin’s My Life on the D-List last night, and, with absolutely no prompting, made the following statement about blow jobs: “I never do that. My mom always taught me, ‘Only ugly girls need to go down on their knees and do things like that.’”
This is upsetting for a lot of reasons. First, because Paris Hilton has been videotaped giving a blow job. That video tape was sold to Red Light video and distributed via the Internet and in adult stores around the world. We have all seen Paris Hilton suck a cock.
Second, because it gives her younger and more impressionable fans the idea that performing oral sex on a man is somehow a sign of decreased value and/or low moral character. It is so frustrating to see perpetuated the idea that a woman’s choice to perform a certain sexual act is always an act of desperation or an indicator that a man has diminished respect for her. I am not saying that all blow jobs are acts of saintly goodness (although some men may disagree with me on that point), but I hate the idea of a young woman being convinced that she’s somehow a less worthy person because she chose to perform oral sex. Because as much as someone like myself recognizes that Paris Hilton is a fucking lying, narcissistic moron, you better believe that plenty of young women in this country view her opinion as Bible. (I know this as a result of reading the comments on my celebrity gossip blog for three years.) I have this image of young women across America watching her on this show and thinking to themselves, “Oh my God. I give head. Am I ugly? Am I worthless? Paris Hilton thinks so. What have I done?” I know I don’t carry the kind of clout that Paris does, but allow me to address that question: You have done nothing wrong, and you have done nothing that makes you less deserving of respect.
Thirdly, I am infuriated with the idea that mothers are passing this kind of bullshit advice on to their daughters. These are the kind of statements we pass on to our daughters that strip women of sexual power and confidence. I would tell my daughter — if it came up — that she should perform the sexual acts she chooses when, and only when, she wants to. If she’s uncomfortable with something, she should pass, and she should expect a man to respect her decision. If she wants to do it, she should enjoy herself thoroughly. No one should make her feel somehow lesser because she wants to give head.
In summary: Shut up, Paris.
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Only ugly girls give blow jobs + Paris Hilton gives blow jobs = Paris Hilton is ugly.
I should have used the transitive property, but I couldn’t find the correct notation on my keyboard, so I had to go with addition.
Or perhaps a simple “If…then…” proposition would have sufficed. Okay, so I just proved in three different ways that Paris called herself ugly. Awesome.
Modus ponens
Ooh, in Latin. I love it!
philosophy minor. I’m a nerd.
I think the best Latin quote for Paris Hilton would be: “Vanitas Vanitatum Omnia Vanitas.”
word
You mean, verbum. =)
Paris Hilton THOUGHT? I didn’t think that was possible. Hamsters have more intellect.
THIS.
Paris Hilton should stop telling such atrocious lies, because just by nature of existence, we know that she thinks nothing.
Also, Paris Hilton is pretty damn ugly, regardless of her ‘giving blow jobs’ status. And Mama Hilton? My mother gave me advice like ‘don’t be a whore and give blow jobs at the back of a schoolbus.’ Not ‘if you engage in this act, you are ugly.’ Rich people are weird.
The idea that any woman would take what Paris Hilton says to heart is terrifying.
The idea that anyone thinks that sexual acts are related to beauty is terrifying!
That’s very true. It reminds me of a stupid joke I heard about how men want to have sex doggy style so they can pretend they’re having sex with someone other than their partner. While fantasy is healthy and normal, that’s still very crass to say.
But.. yeah, so what I wanted t say is that… everything about sex is beautiful when done spontaneously, when all parts involved are up for it… giving pleasure is just as good as “receiving” it and beauty has got NOTHING to do with it.
but MAYBE just MAYBE Paris’ mom wanted to prevent her from going down on every guy she meets? Maybe she knew what her kid was up to and just tried to stop it?
But really, really this comment passes the idea that blowjobs are an obligation and disgusting and should be a compensation.. I don’t see it that way and I don’t think anybody should.
I enjoy it also. But I won’t do it on my knees, as Paris described. Haha,
Aw, I replied to the wrong comment and used a comma instead of a period after “Haha.” Sorry.
I used to not ever want to do it on my knees, but just this week me and my boyfriend tried it out, and it was the first time I ever brought someone else to orgasm…So, I don’t care at all anymore.
Blow jobs are not just fun for men, or something women do to please men.
I actually *gasp!* enjoy giving blow jobs. I can’t be the only woman who feels this way. Can I?
Word! You definitely aren’t the only one.
Nah you are not the only one ;)
nope, you’re not alone
You’re not. I love it, too. Why wouldn’t I love being able to make my husband feel good however I can?
Oh I love giving head!
I hear rumors that there are people who enjoy it but that’s just unfathomable to me. It’s not that I don’t believe you, just can’t imagine anything that would make me actually enjoy the experience!
Really? You’ve done it and you don’t enjoy it at all?
Yep. I’ve tried but it’s nowhere near fun for me. I think it’s my crazy strong gag reflex that does it. I’m not grossed out by it or anything, kissing and licking and such is fine, but even just putting the head in makes me gag. Maybe I have some subconscious issue though because I don’t really enjoy receiving it either.
Rhonda, try Chloraseptic. It numbs the mouth and makes it easier to help a guy rock out with his cock out… in your mouth.
OMG Kevin!! I laughed my ass off when I read that one! I have no problems sucking cock, in fact, like so many others have stated I actually enjoy it. Here’s my problem: I cannot stand the way cum tastes. Besides spitting, which I think is rude (that’s just me, I don’t want a guy running to the bathroom to wash his mouth out after he’s done with me) what can I do to make the taste better? Honestly, I have actually gagged from the taste of some of my boyfriends’ cum. Any solutions??
Is your boyfriend a smoker? I’ve noticed smokers have a distinct (gross) taste. Some people say that the taste of cum is determined by diet. I’m not sure how to make it taste better… really… I think maybe it’s just all in your head. Like an “eww cum in my mouth!” reaction. I haven’t given head to orgasm in awhile, but I never found the taste of cum weird. An alternative is also just pulling out the guys peep and jacking him off to climax. I hear straight guys like to cum on boobs, let him take boob shots! Heyooo.
I’ve wondered if it is just in my head…I don’t think so. It’s not the texture that I mind…I love raw oysters, which is slightly different because cum is warm and raw oysters are cold. There is something about the earthy, musty taste with the slight sour edge that I don’t like. Dunno, I still give head to ejection because I love watching my man go crazy with pleasure.
Feed your man some pineapple to make his cum taste better. Just half a cup of pineapple juice per day will do the job but some people swear by an additional glass just before the act too.
Not sure Chloraseptic will help with the gag reflex really. I still gag at the dentist when they’re working on my back teeth and I’m shot full of lidocaine.
The head is the most sensitive part, so if you’ve got to give somewhere, at least mouth that part. The shaft you can take care of with a tight grip, just be sure to have a wet palm and spit a lot. Unless he’s uncut, in which case it’s like just awesome easy for everyone.
For the taste of cum…smokers do taste gross. The best tasting people, generally, are vegans. Caffeine, red meat, dairy, and acidic food make it taste salty and “bad”. Things like fruit, fresh vegetables, and white meat are best for taste. For lots of volume he should drink lots of water, duh, and try eating raw celery. The pineapple thing does work, it puts a lot of awesome natural sugar into the body fluids.
A lot of it is just genetics. Some guys would taste bad no matter what they ate. Personally, guys have told me I taste extremely sweet, and I do not follow any special diet, I just have naturally awesome cum.
Anywhore, have fun. Oh, and you should try fingering his prostrate. Seriously. He’ll go fucking nuts. (Just tell him to make sure he’s clean, not all straight guys think about that.)
I heard asparagus makes it taste sweeter.. I don’t mind the taste at all.. But every guy is different..
about the Gag reflex, it must be psychological if even (just) the head provokes it. after all, I’m sure bigger things have gone into your mouth (like food… maybe a hot-dog?) without any “gagging”.
I’ve heard broccoli makes cum taste bad. Maybe tell him not to eat it?
Jeremy, my uncut husband and I loved your “awesome easy for everybody” statement. In fact, on behalf of all men, he appreciates your tutorial.
On a related note, being uncut also makes masturbation and hand jobs sooo easy.
Rhonda, I’m so sorry you don’t enjoy giving head. I guess there’s just nothing you can do about that kind of thing.
Thanks! I’m uncut, so I know firsthand all the benefits.
I hope someone can find something useful, I don’t say graphic things in public for no reason.
Well he’s intact and vegan so it should be easy! Dread to think what a big baby I’d be over this stuff if he were a meat eating, dairy swigging guy with a surgically altered penis.
Uncut eh? I’m cut and I have this epic purple scar on my peen. You’re right about it being easier to give head / hand jobs to a man that is uncut. Though I’ve never really seen two foreskins that were exactly the same. So maybe it depends on the tightness / length of the foreskin.
It really does.
Lisa, I’ve heard of the pnieapple trick too. Never tested it out though because I’m married and I don’t feel bad about spitting out a load. I got squeamish about ingesting cum after becoming pregnant. It sounds weird I know but it just didn’t feel kosher. If I’m not pregnant and a little drunk, I might try and swallow but it’s not just the taste, it’s the texture that’s pretty unsavory. It just coats your mouth in a weird way. Ugh. I need a stiff drink just thinking about it! Haha!
That’s just silly.
Frankly, I believe you ought to be willing to give as equally as you recieve. Therefore, if my fiance gives me some mind-numbingly awesome oral sex, I have every reason to want to return the favor for him.
So it’s OK that I hate giving it because I don’t particularly like receiving it either? It’s a pretty rare occurrence in my house, much to hubby’s chagrin.
Hey, whatever floats your boat. Some people aren’t into oral–giving OR getting. All I’m saying is, I think it’s only right to make sure your partner is getting the same satisfaction from you as you are from your partner–in whatever way you choose. ^_^
Paris is a moron. Nothing new. Whether her mother actually said that or not, Paris’ statement did exactly what she wanted: it got her attention in the blogs. She’s all about the attention, not the humor or the intelligence. Let’s totally ignore the bimbo and find something better to think about. Revenge!
I wouldn’t turn down a slob-job from Paris, however, she wouldn’t be my first choice. Her head is too small and I wouldn’t have anywhere to sit my beer.
Paris Hilton gives bad blow jobs anyway. You know what guy she did her tape with was faking it!
I haven’t seen the tape but you should always trust the opinion of a gay man when it comes to blow jobs ;-)
But apparently not when it comes to typing. Requesting edit feature!
So true.
Well, well, well. Did Kathy Hilton take parenting classes with Dina Lohan? What a pillar of the child-rearing community. Paris has built a career on being a whore, Nicky is anorexic & Barron is a drunk driver. Too bad Barron and Nicky didn’t go out for drinks (not dinner) and accidentally run over Paris doing her ho stroll, but I digress… Anything that comes out of her mouth, and it could literally be ANYthing, merits an automatic eyeroll before I completely disregard it. I do not understand how that walking, talking cesspool of disease has any staying power in the public eye.
I am officially in a bad mood after reading this. What. The. Hell.
For the first posters, I believe it would look like this–though I may be wrong. Logic was the most difficult class I’ve ever had to take.
(x)(Ux -> Bx)
(∃x)(Px * Bx)
(x)(Px -> Ux)
There…that OUGHT to be (if I’m right):
“Only ugly girls give blowjobs (For all x, if x is an ugly girl, then she gives blowjobs)
Paris Hilton gives blowjobs (There is something that is Paris Hilton and she gives blowjobs)
Paris Hilton is an ugly girl (For all x, if x is Paris Hilton, then she is an ugly girl)”
Whew. Putting that logic to work…now I just hope I’m right and my professor wouldn’t give me a good smackdown.
/philosophy major
Or maybe:
(∃x)(Px * Bx) -> (x)Ux
I never was terribly good in logic class!
Ahem, that is…above (Sorry for all the comments)
“If there is something that is Paris Hilton and it gives blowjobs, then it is an ugly girl”
WORK BRAIN! DAMN YOU!
Has Paris had a good look in the mirror? Even with nose job, bleached hair and blue contacts to hide her brown eyes, she’s still ugly. Have you seen her childhood photos? She looks like one of the NJ housewives or some guida from Brooklyn.
By ugly she meant “fat”. Those plus sized women can’t keep things out of their mouths, thankfully.
(I better run before I get kicked to death)
A woman IS a less-worthy person if she performs oral sex – blow jobs are beyond repulsive.
Piss off
What Alzaetia said. If you don’t want to do it I totally get that but there’s no need to insult people who do enjoy it or do do it because their partners enjoy it.
I’m going to go ahead and admit to the fact that I immensely enjoy performing oral. To the contrary, it makes me feel quite dominant, rather than less-worthy in comparison to… I don’t know. Something more worthy?
You have his junk in your mouth, of course you have all the power. Hello, those are teeth, and that’s a jaw.
Less worthy? When giving a blow job, you are in total control. And the reverse DOESN’T work for guys going down on girls, either, without some odd maneuvering. A guys pisses the person with his dick in their mouth? Ha.
You’re so fucking stupid.
blow jobs aren’t for ugly girls. they’re for fun girls.
I like performing oral sex, I love making my boyfriend cum every single time and I will keep on doing it because I know he enjoys it. On my knees, on the bed, in the shower, I don’t care. We have great sex and oral is just a part of it. I know he loves me very much and he also goes down on me, so we give and take and have an amazing good time. And if that makes me ugly… well, so what? I found someone who will love me forever, and, frankly, there are more important things to life than being pretty (which doesn’t equal to looking like Hilton, who, btw, is pretty fucking ugly -haha see what I did there?-).
Right on mireee. My sentiments exactly.
Right now, I only have two words for Paris after everything I’ve heard from her over the years: “Bitch, please.”
i just have 3 letters 2 describe this whole page LOL
i totally agree that BJ’s aren’t a bad thing
but anyone who listens to Paris is just a basic wanna be barbie clone of hers and whom only know say “thats hot” =__=’
as the only language these small minded people know is arrogance
and no giving Bj’s does not make you ugly as i’m a girl who’s paid to look beautiful and guess what Paris…I LOVE GIVING BJ’S!!
peace
xox
Actually oral sex increases your chances of getting throat cancer.
And married.
Fuck that statement haha blows are great how about you give me one to paris since your an ugly girl,damn she can take a dick well please suck my dick too paris haha….
I would love to get my dick sucked by…jessica alba,paris hilton,MEGAN FOX = she has a nice ass and pussy i would love to stick my dick in,jessica biel hell yeah sonn,kim kardashian what to say shes so sexy witha nice set of tits i would def suck and fuck the shit out of her,tila tequila damn i would love to have rough sex with her she can suck dick soooooo good i bet,and kat von d cus id like to try somethin new witha girl like her cus she has alot of tats on that nice sexy curved body of hers
Paris Hilton is very pretty. Like her style.
I don’t have any problem with a gf spitting afterwards. i kinda find it gross if she swallows. it makes me think shes done it so many times shes acquired a taste for it. Call me old fashioned and mysogynistic, but if I know a woman has had a lot of partners, I don’t find her attractive. and i know I’m not the only one that feels that way. Wait, lemme repgrase that..I do find her attractive, but I wont marry her.
Speaking from personal experience, semen spends less time on your tongue (where the taste buds are) if you swallow. When you spit you have to hold it all in your mouth and it washes back over your tongue on the way out.
So I would counter that it’s girls who swallow who haven’t acquired a taste for it.
And yes, it’s completely and totally sexist to say that women who sleep around don’t deserve to be married.
What about guys who sleep around?