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We’ve known for awhile that Chastity Bono was a lesbian. But now it’s come out that she’s not a lesbian, exactly … she’s a man. Chastity — who’s now going by “Chaz” — has come out as transgender, and is undergoing a sex change operation to become a man.
“Yes, it’s true,” a Bono spokesperson confirmed. “Chaz, after many years of consideration, has made the courageous decision to honor his true identity. He is proud of his decision and grateful for the support and respect that has already been shown by his loved ones. It is Chaz’s hope that his choice to transition will open the hearts and minds of the public regarding this issue, just as his ‘coming out’ did nearly 20 years ago.”
I, for one, am thrilled that Chaz made this decision and that he made the decision to announce it publicly. I’ve had the good fortune in my life to make several friends who have undergone sex-change operations, and they’re some of the most goddamn chipper people I know. I know I’m speaking from a relatively small sample size, but I think that, after being trapped in a body that betrays your gender identity for so much of your life, there is exceptional freedom and joy in finally getting to interact with the world as you always felt you should. Most of us take this luxury for granted. These individuals do not.
As more of America comes to accept and honor homosexuality, transgendered individuals are decades behind in terms of their acceptance. People are slowly coming to believe that a man can feel romantically attracted to a man and that doesn’t have to be weird, but the idea of a man who thinks he’s a woman or a woman who thinks he’s a man still strikes many as some form of mental illness. I’ve heard it from the mouths of many intelligent and accepting friends: “Look, I get the gay thing. I’m cool with the gay thing. You fuck dudes, whatever. No big deal. But now all of a sudden you think you’re a woman? I don’t buy it. That’s just weird.”
Transgender identities have existed as far back as modern history records. Native American tribes called them “two-spirits” and honored them with special roles in their culture.
It is my hope that Chaz Bono’s decision to speak openly about his transgender identity and his upcoming sex change will put a face we know and care for — and don’t fear — on this sexual identity. Because, ya know, once we win this gay marriage battle, the transgender community will need us to fight for their acceptance as well — and we’re gonna need all the help we can get on that one.
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I heard this on the radio this morning. The morning show discussing it was a little tetchy about it, but generally supportive. (The guys were just hoping Chaz wouldn’t be more hung than them–of course, right?)
I’m happy for Chaz and happy that transgender issues are coming to the forefront now. He’s definitely got my support!
(Also, kudos on the Two-Spirit mention! I love that the Native Americans honour their transgenders. I also like that “Two Spirit” is now more prevalent than “Berdache.” When I was in University, they were still calling them Berdache, which while a pretty word to say, amounts in translation to “kept boy/prostitute.”)
I’m sorry, I know this is of no real significant, but WTF is Cher wearing to a GLAAD event?!?
Uggs with men’s sweatpants and a plain-white shirt?! If I were Chaz and had my mom there with me I’d be a little offended she didn’t bother to get changed out of her PJs for the event.
Yeah, I couldn’t get over that either. I’m actually more concerned about that horrible outfit Cher is wearing than her daughter getting a sex change operation.
That also crossed my mind. Elastic-waist, Cher? Really?
She was really phoning this one in…
Especially at a GLAAD event! You know the gays are paying attention to every detail.
Man, I am so not a girl. I totally didn’t even notice the sweatpants and literally had to scroll back up and see for myself. She does look utterly ridiculous though hahaha.
I read on Perez that she’s only doing this so she can “marry” her partner in which case it’s kinda sick that she would cut up her body for a piece of paper. She isn’t a real transgender person.
If that’s the case, it would be so disappointing. There’s practically no real examples of “normal” transgender people in the media. We have the weird pregnant man all over the news, I’ve never seen it but some have told me someone on the ‘L word’ show is supposedly trans and a wacko, and now if Chaz is just doing it to get married b/c gay marriage haven’t been established yet, that would mess everything up so much. There are so many trans people out there living happy, successful lives. They don’t regret their decision like so many videos and shows try to show (“the doctors butchered me and now I just wanna be the old me again”), and they’re so happy finally living in bodies that represent who they are. Most of them don’t even out themselves and the people around them don’t even know about their past. I really really hope that Chaz is truly transgender and can give the public a good example of a trans person, but if he doesn’t, I know someone in the near future will. and this won’t be as taboo as it is now.
I find it extremely, extremely hard to believe that someone would go through so much surgery etc just to get married. And considering the source, I doubt it even further.
Wow. I’m soooooo not like the rest of you, and I’m sooooooo sick of the whole “I’m gay” or “I should’ve been a…” thing. It all comes down to whether or not homosexuality or transgenderism is something one is born with, or something they choose. I am convinced it is a choice, an obsession…and therefore this sort of thing – and this kind of attention to it – makes me sick. Should’ve been a man? Right. Then SHE “should’ve” been born with a PENIS. I hope it stays taboo; it’s a crime against nature.
Now throw me everything you’ve got – I’m a bigot, a hater, a right-wing, Christian bitch…it still doesn’t change the fact that Chastity was born a girl, and that no amount of surgery will ever “make her into a man.” And thank GOD for that!
So I suppose you choose to like cock?
Right, and all the people with hormonal imbalances or were born intersexed are just choosing to be that way, too. Just like autistic kids are choosing to be born “uncooperative” those bastards. Just like black people are choosing to be born different from the “normal” people and are disrupting our fragile perfect white society. Can’t believe we haven’t stuffed all of em into a box with a label reading taboo on it and just dumped in the ocean.
seriously Jessica? By your second paragraph, especially, it just seems like you are looking for a fight. And why on earth would I call you a Christian? Nothing that you wrote tends to make me believe that you are religious in the least.
Jeez Jessica, it’s biological, simple as that. No need to bring your personal psychological hangups into it.
You’re a bigot and a hater, but you’re clearly not a Christian.
You know what is a choice? You choosing to be an ignorant hateful cunt.
oh c’mon Jeremy. You know it’s a choice. You know that you are totally straight, and loooove vaginas. You just wanna be gay cuz it’s sooo trendy. We have totally figured you out!
:)
It’s true! I put up with the years of suspicion, hatred, physical assault, and prejudice just for funsies!
well thank god you finally came clean about it! I think it’s like the first step of… something.
I have never understood the whole “being gay is a choice.” It’s just so absurd. Many people would switch back and forth if it was that goddamn easy. Get pissed at my boyfriend? Poof! I’m a lesbian. And like anyone really wants to go through a lifetime of idiots damning you to hell for your life… yeah. Okay. Totes makes sense. I’m gonna go call my gay uncle and his husband and tell them that the jig is up!
I always figured you two would run off and have some weird bi-everything marriage together. lol.
If I get to have naked groomsmen, sure!
This is a very thoughtful, sensitive blog post which recognizes that acceptance for transgendered folks lags far behind social acceptance of gay people. I’m a gay transman, which means that I was born a girl, have become a man, and am attracted to men. (Not all transsexual guys first identify as lesbians, like Chaz did. There are a number of “straight women” who don’t feel that they are women at all, and I was one of them.) My experience with the gay community has on the whole been a positive one, but I have encountered discrimination and prejudice even within that community, which shows that we still have a long way to go towards acceptance for the T (and the B) in “LGBT.” I applaud you for recognizing that in this article, and for seeing Chaz’s transition as what it is: a step in the right direction towards making transgendered people less invisible, less misunderstood, and ultimately, less stigmatized.
But I do think that we should be careful not to assume that Chaz will have an operation. He’ll almost certainly start injecting testosterone under the supervision of a doctor, and yes, he probably will have chest surgery, but what’s going on below his belt is his business as far as I’m concerned. (Some transsexual men have “bottom surgery,” but the vast majority of transmen choose instead to wear prosthetic devices that allow them to look and feel complete, use the bathroom, and have sex with partners. Some transsexual men also do not undergo surgery OR use these prosthetics, known as “packers.”) As a society we’re pretty hung up on what’s in people’s pants, but that’s not what makes you a man, or a woman. There are many non-transsexual men who lose their penises in accidents, and other guys who are born with very small penises, but most people (other than those guys’ doctors and sexual partners) never know about it. They’re just accepted as men, and no one asks or even wonders about their genitalia. Transsexuals have to put up all the time with people asking them, very directly and publicly, about the state of their penis or vagina: did you have surgery? Will you have surgery? What does it look like? Can you have sex? And so on.
My hope is that other people will respect that transsexuals’ private parts are in fact private — and not a topic for casual discussion — and will afford them the same privacy and respect they would show to anyone else. Chaz Bono is obviously a public figure and an activist, and of course people are going to talk about this, but I hope that anyone who encounters a transsexual person in their own life will refrain from asking them very personal questions, or at least wait until they’ve developed a much closer relationship with that person. Some transsexuals are more willing to talk openly about their bodies than others, but don’t assume that your new transsexual acquaintance will be offended if you ask about their bits and pieces, or will be glad that you asked — their reaction might be the opposite of what you expect.
Putting less emphasis on genitalia and surgery also helps transgendered people on the path to acceptance, because accepting a transgendered person means accepting that a person can be very masculine without being born with a penis, or very feminine without being born with a vagina. Also, some people stigmatize transpeople primarily because they are horrified by the physical aspects of transsexuality — like the idea that a man would want to remove his penis and testicles — in much the same way that some people are homophobic because they dislike the idea of a sex act between two men or two women. But we know that sex is just a small part of anyone’s life, and that it is unfair to judge a person entirely on the basis of their sex life. Hopefully our society will also stop judging people on the basis of their private parts. If that ever happens, it will be a great day for transsexuals, for men with small penises, and for women with unusually large or small breasts, all of whom can unfairly suffer from mockery or harassment — or just the embarrassment of being asked VERY personal questions — because of their physical characteristics.
Thanks again for a great article. I join you in wishing Chaz the best of luck. Coming out, transitioning, and finding acceptance are some of the hardest things a transsexual can ever do, but you’re right — it’s an indescribable joy to look in the mirror and see a face that finally matches the mind behind it.
Dear Sean,
That was amazing. Thank you so much. You took the words out of my mouth.
I’ve studies gender for a while now and written essays on it and, to be honest, I don’t really understand why she feels the need to change her anatomical state so dramatically. It’s not me being a hater; I respect her conviction and realise it’s a hard thing to admit, but the actual process is SO long and the surgery is MAJOR, mightn’t work out, will leave her in agony, and she’ll have to learn bladder control all over again. Also, what if she doesn’t like it after all? She’s going to change her sex to accommodate her gender, sure, but what if it’s not enough?
Sean I enjoyed your comment a lot, and it’s true the difference between sex and gender can’t be stressed enough; sex is just your sex parts but gender is the socially-constructed masculine/feminine traits acquired. But I have done my research on gender so please don’t think I’m doubting your experience at all, it’s just my opinion on it.