The Ultimate “Gag” Gift: The Cockbib

soulpoleLooking for a way to dazzle your house guests?  Want a creative way to show that you’re courteous, conscientious and neat?   A new product hits the market for the professional working girl.  Or guy.

It’s called the Cockbib and its name is not a marketing tool with a clever play on words.  Quite the opposite:  it cleverly markets your tool.

Effective June 1st, you can order your very own Cockbib at  They start at $12.99 USD and can be purchased with a major credit card or via PayPal.

According to its website, the Cockbib was inspired by the creator’s “beautiful wife,” which must obviously translate into:  slobbery, salivating woman who’s going to be pretty pissed that her techniques (and troubles) were divulged to the vast regions of cyberspace.  This dude is probably in the doghouse as we speak, but have no fear:  he’s more than likely got enough Cockbibs to knit and embroider himself a pretty quilt for those chilly nights alone.

Screw Jared — because when you care to give the very best, think of Cockbib.  Why?  In the eloquent phrasing of its creator,  “if it ain’t a Cockbib, it ain’t shit.”

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26 thoughts on “The Ultimate “Gag” Gift: The Cockbib

  1. Actually, I find a dishtowel, the kind with the tie strings so you can tie it to a cabnet drawer handle, to be most effective.

    Since they have a drawstring, they than be adjusted to fit any size cock. And they are made of 100% terri cloth so their are nice and cozy. Sorta like the snuggie.

    And the best thing! Since they are an actual towel, you can just pop them into the wash with the rest of the laundry. No, expensive drycleaning bills here!

  2. I cant believe that we all got to post here before TheLisa found it! Heaen forbid if she sees that the bib says “Soul Pole” on it. Is that a racial slur? Maybe she will just notice the word “GAG” in the title. Lol Tht brings all kinds of stuff mind!

  3. Sorry Vanessa, My fingers are sticky from trying this banana peel method tha kevin told me about. Its hard to type…. Lol

    • Banana peel method = warming a banana peel up in the microwave for x seconds (I dunno where you’d find the balance between burning your penis off and pleasure) and using it during hand/blow jobs. It adds a like, warm slimy (simulated orifice) feeling. Enjoy!

  4. So, it woud probably be better then not to actually peel the banana, just cut off the end an mush out the actual banana part right? Hummm Ill have to get one of those big Mexican Bananas that are sold individualy…. Are those bad about carrying fruit flies? Lol

    • Well you take the banana out I think… I don’t know. I’ve never done it before, not really into having sex with fruit.

      • Like I said, if Im not supposed to actually peel the banana I would have to get one of those big Mexican Bananas that are for cooking in order for it to fit. And they dont really taste that good. Maybe I could make a mexican recipet? Yo Quero Plantanos

  5. I have to admit my confusion. This seems like something that’s only good for masturbation.
    But the caption and some of the article, even the website, gives the impression that it’s for blow jobs. Who needs a bib for that?

    • No, if it was for masturbation, the hole would be on the other end of the bib. I guess you could wear it upside down. Apparantly you have never had a really good blow job. I think it has more to do with slobber….

      • Actually, I always thought a really good blow job included swallowing.
        I guess I just clean up after myself better than most girls…

        • No, swallowing is really optional. By then the party is over. It the amount of slbber that leaks out that makes the mess. And for a good one there has got to be lots of slobber! And that can be messy. Not to mention that from what I hear, swallowing will go straight to your hips! And remember, a moment on your lips, forever on your hips!

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