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How would you feel if your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife keeled over from a life-threatening aneurysm and, after a sixteen-hour struggle, died? All the while, you’re fighting for your right to visit your loved one, and because you are one-half of a same-sex couple, you aren’t considered to be “immediate family.”
Such is the case for social worker Janice Langbehn. Langbehn’s partner of eighteen years, along with children, were denied entrance to visit Lisa Pond during her final hours back in 2007, when this incident initially occurred. As Florida state doesn’t “recognize” (how I hate that term) same-sex couples, Langbehn was not allowed to visit Lisa Pond, despite the fact that they were each other’s strength and happiness for almost two decades.
Langbehn and Pond were traveling through Florida on vacation with their children. During the course of their trip, Pond collapsed and was rushed to the ER for a major aneurysm. After Pond was admitted to the hospital at approximately 3:30 PM, Janice was relayed information that was probably more than a slap in the face than anything else. She was told that the couple was now in an “anti-gay city and state” and would need further documentation in the form of advanced directives and HIPAA release forms to allow Langbehn visitation. Always prepared, Langbehn immediately got on the phone with her attorneys and had the proper paperwork faxed to the hospital. After three hours of waiting to no avail, doctors in charge of Lisa’s case notified Janice that there was no hope. After several more hours, Janice was finally allowed a bedside visit — while a priest gave Lisa Pond her last rites. The children were not able to see their mother until almost midnight.
Lisa Pond was declared brain dead at 10:45 the following morning and was taken off life support. Pond was an organ donor.
Pond was being held in the Trauma Unit of Jackson Memorial Hospital. She was in a coma and dying of effects resulting from an aneurysm. I had an aunt that passed away from an aneurysm. Granted, it’s terribly unfortunate and I’m sure it’s not the death of popular choice, but it’s also not a violent way to die – at least in my aunt’s case. It doesn’t pose a health hazard to those who request visitation. What kind of excuses the facility will attempt to use in covering their asses (beyond the “anti-gay” spew) will remain to be seen over the coming months.
It’s 2009 and Janice Langbehn is currently in the process of litigation against Jackson Memorial, and despite any potential outcome, nothing can replace what was lost or can remedy the rights that were taken away from her when she was denied entrance to visit her life partner and best friend.
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THIS is why I want same-sex marriage legalized EVERYWHERE.
that’s really depressing
Only one of the few issues. You should run the story about the mayor of a town in west Texas that just resigned and is now living in Mexico with his partner until he can get a visa to come live in the US with him. If they were a heterosexual couple they could get married and they could both live in the US legally. Cool, huh?
One of the many reasons you’ll never catch me heading south of the Mason-Dixon line. Not even for yummy BBQ.
The north doesn’t have a monopoly on human rights and open-mindedness. Unfortunately, anti-gay bias is everywhere. I actually faced more prejudices living up north than I ever have living south of the Mason-Dixon. Before making such broad generalizations about the south, perhaps you should spend some time down here. There are many, many fabulous people in the south who would welcome the chance to show you that BBQ isn’t the only great export.
Unfortunately I have seen more than enough cases of Southerners being anti-gay than I would ever like. Lots of transguys on YouTube have documented their transitions from female-to-male and I’ve seen so many of their hearts broken by family members who compltely rejected them and wanted nothing to do with them, who were from the South. Generalizations are never 100% true, but these cases were a lot more common with transguys w/ family from the south than with other transguys in different areas coming out to their families.
I’m a “Northerner” by birth and lived there for the first twenty-five years of my life. I just recently moved South of the Mason-Dixon line. LOL Culture. shock. But in a good way!
It’s weirder because Florida isn’t really like the “traditional south”. A lot of people that live there are retired people from other states and different regions. I feel like it has more to do with the fact that the state is full of old people than that it is full of southern people. Which could be why they’re like the pain in the ass of the government when it comes to elections and voting stuff.
Get up to the Panhandle, though…
haha ya the rule in Florida is the farther north you go the farther south you are.
ha, I’ve never heard that. Too funny.
This article makes me so sad. I almost want to forget I read about it b/c it’s so hard to think about, but ignoring the problem would be worse than actually speaking up abou tit.
This is assinine and happens to lots of people not just gays. I live with an opposite sex partner I am not married to and would go through the same thing. WTF do the doctors care about who visits someone? Even if it’s just a platonic friend if they care they should be allowed to visit. It’s not like it’s going to hurt the person to know they are loved. Stupid, just plain stupid.
It ONLY happens to people in same-sex marriages though. Opposite-marriage spouses can visit each other. Same-sex cannot. Cool?
Kevin that’s not always true. Some people who are in long standing heterosexual relationships that are NOT married are often not allowed to visit loved ones either. It’s not as commonly heard about, however if someone is in the ICU usually only immediate family is allowed in, that does not include domestic partnerships same sex or not. (At least is the case in Florida)
I know, I’m saying in terms of MARRIAGE. Same-sex MARRIED couples are not allowed to visit their spouses while opposite-marriage spouses are.
I know Kevin, but sadly in terms of same sex couples marriage is not legally recognized in most states. In Florida in particular, long standing couples in a relationship not recognized as a legal marriage (i.e. same sex couples, couples joined in civil union, long term unmarried same sex couples) the spouse will not be allowed to visit. That takes it out of just recognition of same sex areas and into a whole other arena.
My husband and I were together for almost 10 years before we were married, if something had happened to either of us in that time we would not have been allowed to visit the other. Florida law doesn’t recognize same sex couples nor does it recognize anything BUT a legal marriage between man and woman. Civil unions – not recognized Domestic Partnerships – not recognized. It’s disheartening. Most states at least recognize civil unions :(
@ Camicia @ 5:26 pm
please tell me you’re kidding.
Mercedes,
I wish I were kidding. In November we had Proposition 2 on the ballot, which was similar to California’s Proposition 8, however the text of Prop. 2 was: Inasmuch as marriage is the legal union of only one man and one woman as husband and wife, no other legal union that is treated as marriage or the substantial equivalent thereof shall be valid or recognized.”
Proposition 8 still recognized civil unions and domestic partnerships, just not marriage between same sex couples.
Here’s a link that can give a bit better explanation as well as arguments. http://ballotpedia.org/wiki/index.php/Florida_Marriage_Amendment_(2008)
lol I love that Carrie Prejean’s “opposite marriage” is catching on
omg camicia FAIL
Kevin, if two people of opposite genders are not legally married they face the same difficulties as you gays. It’s tragic really. I don’t get the point of denying any loved ones access to a dying person, it just seems cruel regardless of the situation.
Yes but even when they are married, those in same-sex marriages are restricted while those that are in opposite-marriages are not.
This is horrific, and unfortunately all to common. Sadly I doubt there’s a chance that Florida will start recognizing same sex couples any time soon. There is a link here http://www.sistersadist.com/2009/05/new-levels-of-what-fuckery.html on a brief piece I wrote in regards to a poll in Orlando’s news paper. The stupidity hurts.
I wonder why the children were kept away from her for so long as well. They were all legally adopted (from what I have read) by both women.
oh and from another article: “Langbehn attempted to obtain her death certificate in order to get life insurance and Social Security benefits for her children. She was denied both by the state of Florida and the Dade County Medical Examiner. ”
how sad :(
Also, not only were they denied entrance, but “There, the hospital refused to accept information from Janice about her partner’s medical history. ” I mean, how fucked up is that? She even had legal power of attorney, and they refuse to even take any information about medical history? That, to me at least, goes beyond anything else. I don’t understand. Were they being so stubborn about the whole “you guys aren’t related” that they refused to listen to information that could have been helpful to the dying patient?
So by what you are saying, if I had a durable power of attorney for my health care, a power of attorney for my financial care and gave those rights to ANYONE who I am not “married” to, then they can be ignored? Something is wrong with this picture as you said. What if I wasn’t married and wanted to give this power to my brother, or sister, or had no family and wanted to give it to a friend, the hospital can “choose” to ignore my legal rights? If this is true, not only does it violate same sex, civil unions etc…but would completely violate all of my legal rights. I cannot see how this hospital can do this without a huge lawsuit.
Since when does “one” have to be related to be given a legal POA?
I know. I think it’s really messed up.
I see how it can most effect gay couples (merely because even if they WANTED to get married, or were married, Florida wouldn’t care). At least straight couples have the option of getting married, ya know? But I feel bad for anyone else that this could effect- straight couples who aren’t married, and people who are single who have no close family members nearby.
I mean… in a situation where someone is clearly dying… I don’t see why they would deny the right to visit to ANYONE who was close. It’s just so depressing. What if something happened like that to me? I’m not married, and my close family members live far away. So my closest friends wouldn’t be allowed to see me? I would have to die alone?
Ugh total bummer all around
This is le bullshit.
queer rights are human rights.
What about people that don’t have living relatives? You mean to tell me they can’t have a close friend or a lover come see them? That’s mean…really, what is the point of that except to be mean?