Kate Harding, a popular fat-acceptance writer, is sick of overweight people being judged. In a recent profile in the Chicago Tribune she makes tongue-in-cheek comments about how some thin people think she eats “baby-flavored” doughnuts, but behind her acerbic wit, Harding addresses the underlining assumption that fat people are ignorant or just plain disgusting. Even if you recoil at her snarkiness, it is hard to deny Harding’s point about how fat people are viewed within our society. Even if being a size 2 isn’t the norm within society, it is considered an ideal size for most women. So does that make being thin a form of privilege, much like being wealthy, white, heterosexual and/or male?
The idea of thinness being a privilege came up in the comments in a recent post about Kate Harding at Jezebel. Commenter “KittenFluff” talked about why she views thinness as a privilege:
It seems like when we divide people according to a dichotomy of weight (“thin” vs. “fat”), we talk not about how we can be more supportive of heavier people, but about how we can eliminate them altogether – i.e., turn them into thin people. It’s when I think about the issue this way that the insidious nature of fat phobia and thin privilege becomes clear. In what other situation do people who are generally empathetic toward marginalized groups suggest not that the privileged group change its attitude but instead that the unprivileged group cease to exist?
Her comments sparked a debate among the other commenters, with one commenter telling her that overweight people aren’t part of an unprivileged group because “you can change your membership” and others arguing that the point is, if you are overweight and healthy, there shouldn’t be a need to “change your membership.”
While I am not sure if I can wholeheartedly agree that thinness is a privilege akin to being wealthy or white, it is an interesting concept to discuss. Being seen as thin by others has definitely gotten me a few benefits in life. I have walked into retail jobs knowing that if I was over a size 10 I probably wouldn’t be hired. I’ve never had to worry that most people would view me as being overweight and therefore might think I was unattractive, stupid or lazy because of it. It is kind of disheartening to think that people hold these prejudices against overweight people, but we all know that these prejudices exist. Why do we view fat people as being inherently lazy, unhealthy or ignorant? Why do we feel that thinness is the opposite of all of these things?
One of the clearest examples of negative stereotypes of overweight people is in fat jokes. It is ironic that some comedians feel the need to make fun of fat people for being lazy because mocking fat people is really the most tired, lazy form of comedy out there. How many jokes have we heard that were essentially just stating “this person is fat?” He he ha ha. Comedy! How’s that spec script for Dane Cook going, funnypants? In all seriousness, why is being fat the butt of a joke? Is it because fat people are assumed to be unhealthy (even though you could be overweight and still healthier than a wick-thin, beer-chugging, coke-snorting, cigarette-smoking hipster)? Why is being unhealthy considered hilarious by a certain strain of frat boy-lite humor?
On the other end of the spectrum, I am really sick of people mocking thin people for being “anorexic.” Why is anorexia, a serious psychological disease that can often lead to death, something to make fun of? Considering the fact that there are some cases of serious eating disorders not being taken seriously by insurance companies (much like other mental illnesses), it doesn’t seem like mocking someone for being anorexic is funny. Maybe if people stopped viewing eating disorders as simply cases of extreme dieting, narcissism or something inherent in anyone under a size 4, they would start being taken seriously by medical insurance companies.
However, for all the “anorexic” comments made to thin people, there are hundreds more inappropriate comments made to overweight people. If someone is overweight but ultimately healthy, do they need to change the way they are just to conform to our society’s idea of health? And is this an example of thin privilege?
I just think people should be an ideal body weight for their own height and body frame proportions. I’m 5’9″ and 155 pounds, I’m not anywhere near fat, I just look average and healthy. I like that I’m not sickly thin and I like that I’m not overweight. It’s about being healthy and feeling comfortable with your weight. If you’re large and you like your body and feel comfortable than I have no problem with it. If you’re large and you bitch and complain about how fat you are whilst shoving reese’s and popcorn down your throat, then we have an issue.
I know people who are both ways.
Oh I don’t mean that people who are ‘fat’ should definitely lose weight. When I say “ideal” i don’t mean it by like societies standards of ideal being size 2, I mean it as ideal for themselves.
I think the bigger problem is that society thinks they can police and comment on women’s bodies as if they were public property, whether she is thin or fat. Look what happens when celebrities either lose a lot of weight or gain some weight.
You can not win.
I also agree with you that fat jokes are the lowest form of humor. Get some originality.
My understanding of privilege (and indeed, my recognition of thin privilege) has evolved out of many discussions on Jezebel and elsewhere. At this point, I see privilege not as a black or white issue or as having a capital P, but as something that exists in pretty much area of life, even if the degree of privilege is so small as to be nearly indiscernible. A few years ago, I would have been spouting off a lot of comments similar to those made in the Jez thread about people exhibiting “skinny hate.” But now, I have a better understanding of privilege and of fat phobia/discrimination. Based on my personal experience, I do think talking about this stuff is productive, so thanks for bringing the conversation over here.
I think this is a fruitful way to frame the issue — leading to lots of interesting conversation: why do we feel we are allowed to discuss others’ weight but not their height or hair color? Why is it fine to express disgust at others’ weight but not at their acne? Thin people certainly are given access to many things fat people are not.. and all the “outing” of this bias seems to have done nothing to prevent people from expressing disgust, proffering privledge, etc.
For the record, over on Evil Beet, I make fun of height, hair color and acne.
Hah, subtle plug there, Sasha.
Nice.
Are you kidding? Call someone fat and you’re a horrible, awful person. But calling people a stick, anorexic etc.. perfectly fine >:C
I’m bitter. :P
Everybody judges everybody. We need to get over this idea that somehow we can make everything equal for everybody. Fact is, some people are just genetically smarter or prettier or skinnier or whatever and you can’t blame them for your own shortcoimngs. We should just teach people to be happy for what they do have instead of what they don’t. Life is too short to obsess.
i’m fat. i know this. i enjoy food and i’m not ashamed of that….but where i do have a problem is people who are obese. i’m not the most active person and i eat quite a bit and yet i’ve seen ppl who are almost twice my size. and i just can’t accept that people can get to that size without any fault of their own
Large people don’t bother me but what does bother me is when they are sloppy in appearance. Even if you are a big girl you can still wear fashionable clothes and do your hair/makeup. Some people just scream slob and it’s not appealing. Make an effort ya know?
and on another note i don’t hate skinny ppl. i actually feel sorry for them alot of the time that they feel being skinny is so important
The modern hypocrisy of judging a woman(or man for that matter) because of their weight is not something that I understand, even though I am guilty of doing it.
I myself am a naturally slim man(5″8 with a 28″ waist, no idea what my weight is as it has been years since I was on a set of scales) and had always argued in favour of many slimmer people being so because of their genes rather than because of anorexia nervosa, which is a serious mental illness, not the skip-a-few-meals diet that many commentators on the net seem to believe half the time.
Conversely, whenever someone would state that X is fat because they ate too much or didn’t exercise I would tend to agree. But the more I have thought about it even if someone was overweight because of their calorie intake, could not that also be due to their genes?
While I was always aware that some genes can make a person burn calories faster while others just gain weight then what about the other genes? As there are surely genes that make a person see themselves as being fat and then suffer various eating disorders as a result of this body dismorphic disorder then there must surely be those that cause a person to overeat irrationally.
I have come to understand that its not just greed or even the comfort eating that often comes as a result of the prejudice against those bigger than the norm but something else that is often beyond the control of the person being judged. Consequently I do tend to be a lot less judgemental these days as a result.
I suspect too that a great deal of the general sociological prejudice stems from social snobbery. Whereas in the not too distant past to be big was a sign of wealth and ‘privilege’ the exact opposite is now the norm here in the developed western world. This is often the case with womens magazines, both in content and advertising, where looking thin is equated with being keen, smart, attractive, talented, fit, healthy, happy and successful, so it stands to reason that being overweight or even normal looking would reinforce the incorrect stereotypes that the exact opposite is true.
One of the negative results of feminism is that instead of fulfilling the aim of being able to compete fully and fairly with men on equal terms women tend to spend an inordinate amount of their existence competing instead with each other, leading to devastatingly destructive forms of bitchiness and self hatred when it results in competitive dieting that happens when women attempt to conform to these unrealistic and often unattainable ideals promoted in various media.
I feel like a big problem in this debate is that there is often a certain level of weight people are willing to accept before they will revert back to being judgemental. Like, it’s ok if you are overweight so long as you are on of the healthy ones, or so long as you aren’t TOO fat, or so long as you are happy about it. Like the commenter above who states that they are fat but still reserves the right to judge obese people. Why is there always a line of tolerance? If someone is unhealthy why do we always assume they aren’t aware of that themselves and so judge them for it?
You’re absolutely right … it’s hard to know where that line is, if it’s different for others, when it becomes unhealthy in terms of a given person and their situation, et cetera
@thequeenofdoorbells, you are totally right and there is a lot of internal hatred even in so-called open “fat acceptance” communities. there’s totally judgements railed at people who are over say, 300 pounds or who are immobile or do have serious health problems related to their weight. that is a problem within the community (of which i am a distant lurker, not an active member).
I think everyone should try their best to be healthy. That’s about as far as my judgment on the issue extends.
No one here has addressed “quality of life”. As your weight increases, your quality of life decreases. Overweight people my shrug this off in public by saying “its just who I am” but it still not easy. Once you get to the point that you cant hardly wipe your own ass and if you can you get a cramp in your side. it’s a problem. When you take a bath and you have to roll over to get on all fours just to get out of the tub, there is a problem. A lot of overweight people try to appear that they are happy with who they are but they are not. It effects your sex life, ether in finding a potential mate or by making it more difficult to perform sexual acts.. It also robs you of energy to do everyday tasks. So, what do you do? Seek comfort from easiest source available, food.. Once that starts you start experiencing the whole world thru taste because it is the most immediate form of comfort that you can find. Most health insurances will pay for hip or knee replacement surgery but very few of them will help pay for weight reduction surgery. Some weight problems are caused by genetic, some by sloth and some by age. As you get older your metabolism slows. Mine has slowed twice now. I could probably live off of a bean a day, which is great for my grocery bill but not much fun! I think a LOT of the problem in America is the way we eat and what we eat. They are blaming growth hormones in meat and in milk for children reaching puberty at a earlier age. I wonder what the long term effects of this is on a body that has already reached maturity? Has anyone seen any studies?
I think people who are morbidly obses really have a pschological disorder. On some level they equate food with love so any time they feel lonely they eat. A certain amount of body fat is genetic but even with genetics you can’t become 400lbs without having some major depression or something driving you to eat. It’s sad because the more society criticizes them the more depressed they get and the more they eat. People who are moderately overweight probably just don’t realize how many calories they are consuming. I thought I ate light today but when I added up the calories I hit 1,500. two slices of toast with butter is 300 calories, add the coffee/w sugar and glass of juice and breakfast was 490 calories. It adds up quick.
There is no question that weight is genetic and also a class issue. There are many studies to prove weight is genetic. Check out the book “Rethinking Thin” by Gina Kolata, a science reporter for the New York Times. Personally, as the father of a 10 year old adopted daughter who comes from “big” genes, I am incredibly dismayed by the self-hatred already developing in my daughter who eats a very healthy diet and is extremely athletic. She is tall and wide, still within normal BMI but has body fat. One reason for these feelings about herself is that she goes out of our neighborhood to a charter school in an extremely wealthy area where 90% of the mothers and fathers are thin. I have already been contemplating how somehow these folks have landed in positions of power and wealth because they are thin or have the resources to maintain it. I know my daughter sees the thin kids as from “successful families” vs. the larger kids and parents from working class or poorer families. No matter how much support you give, it’s hard to counter it, especially in an adoption situation where the parents are both genetically thinner and the child is genetically broader.
“I have already been contemplating how somehow these folks have landed in positions of power and wealth because they are thin or have the resources to maintain it.”
You’re right. Those people couldn’t POSSIBLY have worked for what they have. It was clearly just handed to them on a silver platter because they’re not fat.
Wo… Back up there LT. I think what Tommeetoon is trying to say is people who are thin are “viewed” in our society as being more attractive. People that are considered attractive generally receive more opportunities… They are then more able to afford, Plastic Surgery, Liposuction, Breast implants, Gastric bypass, lap band etc….. I’m sure that he didn’t mean it the way that you took it. I’m sure these people worked for their positions. But we have all seen obnoxious, mostly plastic people with fake boobs and botox filled lips who look down on others to make themselves feel superior. The average person can not afford these superficial luxuries… It doesn’t mean that because you can’t afford or choose not to have your body augmented that you are any less intelligent or less deserving than those who do have them. It is really sad when a young children can already feel the effects of these bias way of thinking. To Tommytoon, not to worry… Children go thru all kinds of changes when they are at that age. I have many children. Some of them were chubby when they were that age and thinned down when they hit their teens… I have some that were skinny when they were little and you couldn’t force them to eat. Now they are a little chubby, but still eat like birds… The main thing is to keep it healthy and make sure she gets plenty of exercise.. There is two things I did with my kids that I wish I could go back and change. One is I would have never ever have bought them any kind of video game! They are made by the devil.. Instead of getting out and staying active they want to sit around and play those damn games all of the time. The other is I would have never have let them taste Ketchup! The dentist says that Ketchup is the worst thing for teeth. The acid softens the enamel just enough to let the sugar that they add to it penetrate their teeth….
I don’t necessarily disagree with anything that Big Daddy said? My head is spinning.
The way I took it is exactly the way he said it. He said these people are in positions of power BECAUSE they are thin. His words. It’s frustrating to hear things like that. I would be livid if someone assumed got my job not because of my college education but because of my ass and flat stomach.
well, for America, thin seems to equal more attractive. And there have been many studies done that say more attractive people do better in business, make more money, etc. I don’t think anyone is saying that people get these positions solely because they are thin. I think it’s easier to look at it as- they would be more likely to be hired for a specific position than a similarly qualified heavy or unattractive applicant.
LT, I totaly understand where you are coming form. But you getter get used to it…. The whole country is becoming obsessed with political correctness and diversity… Job positions are no longer being given according to education, experience or merit… The local communities demographic makeup has also in the process of being taken out of the picuture…. More and more companies are strictly looking for numbers of racial and sexual equality. Along with not taking into account, education, experience, merit, nor percentage per population…. Before anyone makes a comment google it!
I agree with what both of y’all are saying, bd and thatlisa. I think we’re living in a country where “unattractive” people are at a disadvantage. However, I resent the implication that attractive people who are successful somehow didn’t have to work very hard for it. Here’s something interesting to think about: Obese girls (largely considered unattractive in America) are half as likely to enroll in college than their thinner counterparts. So when it comes to the job market, it is easy to look at people (specifically women) with good job titles and think, “it was easier for them to get that job because they’re thin.” But, with obese women graduating from college at half the rate of thin and average-sized women, it only makes sense that most women in powerful positions are thin or average, as they comprise the majority of those out job-hunting with college degrees.
Interestingly, obese men didn’t differ from their peers in college enrollment.
Here’s the article: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/77688.php
LT, that is very interesting… I did not know that… I will go look at the link. Does it say why?
It basically says that mental health and behavioral issues keep obese women from enrolling in college at the same rate as non-obese women. So probably things like poor self-confidence, body image, and self consciousness would be the main contributing factors.
“However, I resent the implication that attractive people who are successful somehow didn’t have to work very hard for it.”
Oh no, I don’t think that at all. I just think that they may have had an easier road than an unattractive person, which is supported by many studies. I don’t think that just because a person is attractive that they can get any job they want.
Oh, I agree with you. I was talking more about an implication by society in general. Seems that we’re hardwired to think that pretty people don’t have to try that hard. While their road may be predestined to be easier…it’s still not going to be easy.
I agree. But I think it is easier sometimes to get ahead when you are attractive. I know I’ve gotten jobs because of how I look (no, not awesome kickass career jobs– but bartending. Nobody wants to hire an unattractive female bartender).
Homeless people are thin. Theory discredited.
@Maria, yeah I haven’t had much to do with that community, mainly because I didn’t know it existed really, but I believe you that it would be a problem there because whenever I read articles of this type there is always at least one person who has to mention how accepting they are, except for such and such level.
@Big Daddy, you are absolutely right, particularly very obese people have a decreased quality of life, which has to be acknowledged. However, I guess what a lot of people (not yourself clearly) miss in their judgements is that no one is more aware of this than very obese people.
If someone can’t have a bath because they are worried they won’t be able to get up again, they are aware that isn’t the norm, and in most cases I would say that doesn’t make them feel great. But jerks in shaming them in public or online for that kind of thing helps no one.
There seems to be a sort of self righteousness to this kind of debate where people feel they have the right to judge someone for being unhealthy if they are very overweight, where they won’t judge others for their unhealthy habits (obvious example being smoking) as these don’t make the person unattractive. (I am NOT saying overweight people are unattractive, merely that I think that is what drives a lot of the prejudice).
Actually smoking and drinking and drugs do make a person unattractive. Look at Lindsay Lohan. They usually do so on a protracted time table, however.
I’m vain enough that I avoid anything that is reported to give wrinkles, liver spots, cellulite, or thinning hair. I also don’t eat red meat or a whole host of other things because they cause your body fluids to be bitter or salty or smell.
Anyway, to try to stay on topic, I don’t believe thinness is a privilege. To be perfectly blunt, even poor people can get and stay thin with anorexia or bulimia. Not that I’m advocating those things, just the opposite, but the idea that only the rich and successful who can afford trainers and personal chefs or at least afford to buy into the more expensive health culture are the only ones who can stay thin is just wrong. Surely, there a lot more of them, but their wealth is the end, not the means. The fact they spend it on thinness and the culture of beauty is because of our civilization’s values. They could just as easily be undergoing electrolysis and this article could be called “Is Hairlessness a Privilege?”.
Smoking sure makes someone unattractive to me!
I think the reason this is different is that it is not so innate. People are born with their skin a certain colour. People are not born with a waist wider than their height. The levels of acceptance reinforce that – genetics obviously play some part, so many of us look at the person who carries a few extra pounds as likely to be genetically inclined that way, and not to be personally held responsible. But other than RARE medical conditions, you cannot blame your genes when you hit 400 pounds. I don’t think it’s reasonable to compare something that you truly have no control over (eg. skin colour), with things you do (eg. weight, smoking, strange hair colours…).
While it is important to accept /people/ as humans, worthy of decent treatment and respect, no matter who or what they are, we don’t have to accept obesity, and the associated health problems (which affect all of society) as equally correct.
Yes, unhealthy thin people exist. But it’s a lot rarer to find a healthy obese person. And chances are that no matter how fit a person is, if they’re carrying an extra fifty pounds of fat, they’d be even more healthy in the long run without it.
The point I am trying to make I guess is that yes, being very obese is unhealthy, you can only be a certain size before that becomes very clear, but where does anyone get off making someone feel like shit because they are unhealthy. I find smoking unattractive too, that wasn’t my point so much as the idea that whether or not someone is healthy, we should “accept /people/ as humans worthy of decent treatment and respect, no matter who or what they are” period. Just stop the sentence there, you know, no provisos, no “unless they are such and such”.
I don’t believe being thin itself is a privilege, because Jeremy you are right it is not only the wealthy that have the ability to keep within a healthy weight, anyone can do that except possibly those with certain medical conditions, I don’t know. I do believe it has inherent privileges that come with it though, in terms of how people react to you in society, the jobs you can get and the people you attract.
First of all I feel the need to address Jeremy’s comment. Because I would HATE for his bodily fluids to become bitter, salty or smell! OMG, I can not believe you said that! Lol There is nothing worse than smelly fluids! You are a TRIP!
I think everyone agrees that mental health is as important and physical health right? When you become overweight, rather is is due to genetics, lack of exercise etc.. It will turn into depression and could be caused by some other mental or emotional condition. So I think that obesity is a symptom not necessarily a disease within itself. People don’t want to be obese. People don’t want to be laughed at or made to feel that they are less than human. All Doorbell is trying to say is that large people have feeling too. I understand that some people feel that being overweight is an acquired trait. But how could it be an acquired trait when it is undesirable? There are people who are black, white, Hispanic etc.. These are inherited traits that they have no control over. Having Green hair, Lip or eyebrow rings are acquired traits. The difference is the people with the Green hair and nose rings have done these things to themselves because they feel it is desirable. No one desires to be overweight… Ergo obesity may look like an acquired trait, but it isn’t. It is a symptom of something else…..
oh, that anorexia article is heartbreaking. How sad. I also think it is messed up how much people joke about anorexia. It’s a serious, and often terminal, disease. Every time I read an article saying an actress is anorexic (because she appears too thin, not because any medical deduction), I worry about the implications. I do not want young women thinking that anorexia is a cool way to get thin and stay thin. Many of us have struggled with eating disorders… and they really aren’t funny.
and MY GOD I HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES. that article just reminded me how much. I seriously hope this country goes to universal healthcare at some point in my life… could you imagine if your daughter developed anorexia, and it bankrupted your entire family? Or your insurance refused to pay her bills, so she was thrown out of the hospital, left to her own devices? How freaking sad.
“How’s that spec script for Dane Cook going, funnypants?”— brava!
I’m sorry, but I have to comment on this, and it’s probably going to seem rude and inconsiderate but I don’t care. After growing up with several overweight and obese people in my life, I do not believe that being thin is a privilege. One needs to work to be thin, and when they do not put that work into it, they become bigger and bigger until their weight becomes out of control.
I’ve sat down and watched a friend of mine down a large pizza and cheese fingers along with a pound of hot wings in one sitting. She drinks 2L of coke every couple of hours. I’m sorry, but it disgusts me to watch someone do that to themselves; I usually leave the room when she’s having her meal. Sure, she can say that she’s happy with the weight that she is, but it’s not hard to see the sadness in her eyes. 5 years ago, this girl was skinnier than I am; now, she’s obese. How did this happen? How could her mother allow this to happen?
I think it’s child abuse to let your child become so big that they get out of breath walking from one end of a classroom to another. Parents can control what goes into their children’s mouths. They can control whether the child goes outside to play, or stays inside watching TV. When a child is obese, it is the parent’s fault, and if they don’t have enough self control to keep sugary and fatty junk out of their children’s lives, I think they are sad people. Bad eating habits carry on throughout people’s lives, so starting a child off on a diet of McDonalds and Doritos is pretty much setting them on a path to self destruction. I have seen this in my friends.
So, what happens once the children are teenagers, and don’t have boyfriends or girlfriends, have little or no self confidence left, and decide they might want to lose some weight? In most cases I’ve seen, the parents tell their children “It’s ok (name), you should love yourself the way you are. You don’t need to change for anyone! You’re beautiful!” Yes, they’re still beautiful, no, they shouldn’t change for someone else. THEY SHOULD CHANGE FOR THEMSELVES!
I guess what I’ve been trying to say is that I don’t think it’s ok to be overweight. I don’t think that an overweight person should love their body, because most (not all) are setting themselves up for lives of pain and are cutting their lives short. I think parents should advocate healthy lifestyles, when a child’s weight is getting a little out of hand, the parents should sit down and tell their child the risks of being overweight, and take actions to get their child’s weight back to where it should be.
Oh, and for any haters now because of my comment, I also think that being anorexic is setting a person up for a life of pain. I have had family members battle that ugly disease as well. There are two ends of the weight spectrum, and I think people should try to stay healthy, and in the middle of both disheartening extremes.
don’t apologize Megan! I agree with a lot of your views (especially your thoughts on obesity in children)
Aman SISTA Megan!!!! So how old is your friend? I take it her parents are the ones that started her down this road? I agree with you. I know a lot of overweight people, including myself… I know a couple of obese people… Most of them will say that they are happy being the way they are.. But you can tell, they are miserable and only say that to keep from feeling more embarrassed that they already are. Some of them will tell you flat out! I’m fat and I’m miserable but I don’t have what it takes to loose it. Up until I was 23 I could not gain weight! I weighed 135lbs for years and had a 29 inch waist. I ain’t tellin what it is now! But its hard to get it off…. I got married and was happy, I started gaining weight… Then I was put on medication that, get this, “MAY CAUSE SUDDEN WEIGHT GAIN”…. Damn, you cant win for loosing! My Dad is 74 and he used to a little overweight when he was younger… He is at his perfect weight. Want to know what he says his secret is? THIS IS NOT A JOKE! He eats a can of pinto beans a day! He says white beans make him hurt. He doesn’t like any other kind of beans but pinto beans…. When we go to visit him we take him out to eat… He gets a bowl of PINTO BEANS…. He will occasionally eat a piece of fish or taco even,,, then he say “boy, I shouldn’t have done that”!!! Then he is back on his beans.. He has no cholesterol problem, really no blood pressure problem, although I’m sure he has problems with other kinds of pressure!!!! But, that is all he eats all day long….. There might be something to it, but I’m just not quite to that point in my life yet…..
My friend is now 19. She just moved out of home this year. I grew up with her, and watched her mother bring sugary junk into the house to make her happy. The even sadder part is that she was stick thin until she was about 6, then she started to gain weight. It is hard to watch over the years.
Oh and by the way Big Daddy, though I would like to be a little thinner than I am now, I don’t think I’d be able to live on Pinto beans!! Sounds depressing to me, but who knows, I might be running to the beans when the time comes that I have blood pressure and/or cholesterol :)
I 24 years old and am considered morbidly obese based on my BMI. I have been at least overweight since I started on solid food. Just about every one of my relatives is within a normal BMI (side note: my sister is a size 0-2, but eats nothing but candy!) All of my life I have had to listen to my mom and grandma complain about their own weight. My grandpa told my grandma that I am pretty but if I lost weight, I’d be beautiful. My grandma thought that was a huge complement but it hurt my feelings. The funny thing is, these days I really do feel fine about my weight/body. My boyfriend thinks I am good-looking. I am a bit annoyed about a little tire I’ve grown around my waist since I’ve always had a flat stomach. I’ve also started up at the gym since I feel a bit winded sometimes. I think all of the massage work I received while getting my massage degree made me comfortable with my body. All I really wanted to comment on was the fact that this article made me feel shitty. I have recently noticed that fat people don’t get looked at as much as thin people, or maybe get stared at, depending on how big they are. Anyway, I have never been accused of being lazy and definitely not stupid. It was also quite shocking to hear that there are people who would not hire me or down-right hate me based on my obesity. And I think fat can be kind of funny; imagine a fat lion. I know that I may not be sexually attractive to everyone, but my self-esteem is not so low that I need to be. I think that fat used to be considered attractive when we were all in “survival mode.” Now that we do not want to get gout, diabetes, etc., lean is considered attractive by our culture. Also, even if obesity is genetic, “bad” genes are considered unattractive. Lastly, I don’t think people will ever get over being judgmental. If it’s not one thing then it’s something else.
ATTENTION!!! You have all go to see this.. It was on the Evil Beet site. It is a woman wih the smallest waist. she looks deformed to me. She is 60+ years old and has a 15 inch waiste!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrx3jgqJy1E
Megan, Just wondering was your friend raised in a single parent household by her mother? The reason I am asking is your remark about sugary foods. I am the main cook in our house especially now that I work from home. We rarely eat out except for Sunday after church because I know how bad it is for you and on Tuesday because Sonic has their .99 cent burgers! Yum! My wife, Aka Big Momma, brings home big honking bags of Little Debbie snacks. The kids tear thru them like crazy. Of course, she’s the fun one! Daddy does the cooking but when it is my wife’s turn, always on one of her days off, she will go get pizza or something. I know its because she is tired. She been working and just want to rest. But that got me thinking. I wonder if children of single parent households are at higher risk of becoming overweight due to the amount of fast food they consume? Has anyone ever seen any studies on this or have any personal experiences?
Wow, that would be really interesting to study; but no, my friend was raised in a home with both parents, however, her father worked away when she was younger, so her mom was the one who was primarily home, so I guess that theory would fit into her category.
I think that it would make some sense for children to experience weight gain in single parent homes (especially ones where the mom and dad were recently divorced, or where mom has limited or no contact with dad), because of emotional eating. I read somewhere that children mimic their parent’s actions (The very reason I cannot walk past a mirror without sizing up my waistline), so if Mom (or dad) was upset about their situation, and took to emotional eating, maybe the child would see that and think it was ok, or think that food=comfort, which is not always a good relationship to have with food.
Actually, that is some good information. I know that I have noticed that in some families, if one person is overweight, they all seem overweight. As for my own family, I think a lot of our problem is that we eat so late in the evening. I try to balance dinner with everyone being together and sometimes I just cant do it. I have wondered for awhile now, how that is effecting their weight. But I also feel it is important for us all to sit down as a family for at least one meal a day! I can only imagine what their weight and eating habits would be if either of us were single with the kids…..
not all families, but I do think it happens a lot (just because poor eating habits are being encouraged). My mother is overweight, my father is fit and athletic, my sister is thin/normal, and I’m thin. So I think it just depends. I think the overweight family thing may occur more when the children are younger, so they are just eating whatever the parents give them. Once they grow up… if they are lucky, they can break out of these bad eating habits and start eating better. But I was also crazy and eating disorder-y, so what do I know.
Well and obviously if there are genetic factors behind weight families will be more likely to share them. Also, overweight people tend to marry other overweight people.
My family is all tall, blond, and thin. Except me. I get the average height and dark hair genes. Thanks, Spanish grandfather. I’ve noticed however, that my female relatives get steadily broader hips as they age, eventually becoming positively rotund. I’m guessing that’s just like aging and being a woman, though.
When women hit 40 their homone levels change causing body fat where it never existed before. It’s not uncommon for a woman who was thin her whole life to suddenly develop fat deposits when she hits menopause. That kind of weight gain is genetic and VERY hard to get rid of without lipo or working out like a madwoman aka Madonna.
Good point Lisa, But why do you think there is such a difference between your parents. Mine were the same way, but my mother was confined to a wheelchair and had trouble getting the proper amount of exercise. She also probably overweight because she was board and there wasn’t able to do a lot. When my first wife died, my next to the oldest daughter developed an eating disorder. Both of my daughters were going to a counselor at the time and she said that she was feeling an empty place in her life and was attempting to fill the space by eating. She said it was a very common. We would catch her in the middle of the night eating and she put on quite a bit of weight. She was only 5 at the time. She finally learned to deal with her feeling and is now thin and healthy. I often wonder if, as people become overweight, some turn to exercise to get rid of the weight, while others turn to food to attempt to fill an empty feeling left from being self-conscious about their weight and lack of social interaction. What do you think?
Fat ? (without a medical condition/injury making you that way)epic will power fail! I say this as someone who is in the process of porking up herself. I injured myself a while ago, but have gotten well enough to exercise now. I haven’t tho and I eat like I’m 18 when I’m 28. Candy bars ? check. McFlurry ? check. As a kinda pudgy (but not fat yet) I know that if I don’t lose the 25 or so pounds I’ve piled on that I’m gonna get fat.
Fat doesn’t happen over night. It took me a couple years to get this way and it will take me about a year to lose this extra weight and gain back the muscle I’ve lost. If I don’t and become obese, I totally deserve people making fun of me for my laziness because it’s those people who will be paying for my increased health care costs from diabetes, osteoarthritis, and whatever other medical conditions fat people are more prone to.
Being thin is not a privilege. Being thin is something you EARN through diet, exercise, or cigarettes. (but if you become thin via cigarettes, you pay the price in reduced life span and increased wrinkles.)
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