Men, in general, don’t have much a problem with orgasms when they begin having sex. Hell, they have them in their sleep. In their teenage years, they have them within 20 seconds of entering a vagina. As they get older and and repetition and life and medications take their toll, perhaps achieving orgasm is more complicated for men. But, for some women, it’s nearly impossible.
In her new book, Thanks for Coming: One Young Woman’s Quest for an Orgasm (ugh), author Mara Altman tackles her own inability to reach climax — despite having lost her hymen virginity in her teens, Altman didn’t actually have an orgasm until she was 26, when she finally managed to pull it off with the aid of a vibrator. (A book reviewer over at the Daily Beast one-ups her by claiming she didn’t come until she was 30, and then proceeds to rip the book a new asshole. Zexy.)
I guess I’ve always felt a little different than other women in the orgasm category. I’ve never been able to orgasm with a vibrator, and I’ve never had an orgasm from oral sex. (“You just haven’t had anyone do it right!” claim my girlfriends, but I disagree.) I do, however, orgasm just about every single damn time there’s penetration. It’s just never been a problem for me. I lost my orgasm virginity just a couple weeks after I lost my actual virginity. I figured out pretty early on what works for me, and I’m always open with my partner about what his involvement will entail. I assume for most women who have trouble achieving orgasm, it’s more a mental block than a physical problem. We’re bombarded with shame about our sexuality, convinced that our orgasms are dirty and whorish. I had a guy friend once who told me his girlfriend cried every time she came — she was so filled with shame and guilt. I’m sure she’s not the only woman out there with that story.
What’s your story, ladies? Did the orgasm cherry get popped way after the hymen? Or have you always been an old hand (no pun intended) at the art of the orgasm?