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Sarah wrote earlier in the week about pornography addiction, and the public discussion about whether or not it’s a valid disease. (She says it isn’t, I disagree.) So how fitting that VH1 should announce this week that Dr. Drew Pinsky is spear-heading a new reality show in its upcoming line-up: Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew. According to VH1:
Dr. Drew Pinsky is tackling a new yet very real addiction in “Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew.” In this eight-episode one-hour series, Dr. Drew is turning his attention and cameras on a very widespread but rarely talked about addiction. Sexual compulsion afflicts roughly 6% of the American population and carries the same devastating consequences as any other addiction. For addicts, sex isn’t even pleasurable, but rather a way to escape the pain of past loss, childhood trauma, abuse and abandonment. Like many other addictions, their habits can cost them their jobs, their marriages, even their lives. Despite all this, the affliction is often dismissed because it’s not understood how something as natural and beautiful as sex can be an addiction. In this series Dr. Drew will treat a group of people in Los Angeles who are struggling with this disease while shedding some light on this oft-dismissed compulsion and all the destructive costs that come with it. The series is set to premiere in the fall of 2009.
I’m starting to feel like a broken record about these Dr. Drew shows, which I know are ratings gold for VH1. But I just take such issue with the idea of treating active addiction on camera. I see the value in showing the world the “truth” behind addiction and its treatment, but I feel that enabling people to find fame and attention through their addiction is wildly counter-productive. I understand that VH1 is just looking for ratings, but Dr. Drew is an actual medical doctor who took the Hippocratic Oath, and he should know better. Okay. Rant over.
As I mentioned in an editor’s note, I disagree with Sarah’s assertion that pornography addiction is just “sheer weakness.” (To be fair, let’s note that the new VH1 show is about sex addiction, and not necessarily just porn addiction, but pornography addiction is often a sub-symptom of a sex addiction.) I’ve witnessed sex addicts in action — they can spend thousands of dollars monthly on Internet porn and phone sex and hookers, they cheat on their wives or husbands, and they ignore their children — despite the fact that this is not the life they want to be living, and when they say it won’t happen again, they really mean it. If you replace the words “porn” or “sex” with “whiskey” or “cocaine,” no one would doubt that this is a person in the grips of a destructive addiction that requires treatment. As a society, we do these families a disservice by failing to acknowledge and treat sex addiction as an actual disease.
An even more stigmatized subset here are child molesters and pedophiles, whom I personally believe are in large part suffering from a form of sex addiction. That doesn’t make their actions in any way acceptable — no more than an alcoholic’s drunk driving is acceptable — but the enormous (and perhaps deserved) stigma that society places on sex addicts makes it nearly impossible for them to seek help. A drug addict can approach his family or his doctor or his priest and tell them that he has a problem and he needs help; he will get support and direction and be sent to in-patient treatment or Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous or any number of programs that have broad support from the medical and legal communities. But the forms of sex addiction are so stigmatized and misunderstood — by society, loved ones and the addicts themselves — that the sex addict faces a steeper climb toward recovery than people living with better-understood addictions. Real help does exist for families struggling in the grips of sex addiction, and they deserve to know that. (For information on Sex Addicts Anonymous, click here.)
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It’s just that this subject confuses me somehow… They say it’s so free, and normal, for people to watch porn, and read porn, and all the friggin’ magazines are out there for everybody (including children) to see, because that is not ilegal (It is ilegal, however, for me to see what brands of cigarettes they have at the store, they have to hide that, but not the porn, that’s totally ok, i guess just in case my 3 year old wants to know who’s on the cover of husler magazine……) so everythings out there, mostly for free on the internet, and some people have told me, that they do that for a reason. That the reason is, that men are not gonna “act” their fantasies if we keep them happy that way, and if they talk about it. That just doesnt sound right to me for some reason.. On the other hand, like you said, there’s pedophiles and also sex offenders, and teenagers posting nude pictures of themselves all over the internet, i feel like they’re just making it worse, like they’re helping all these people go and act their fantasies, the shit that they watched on tv, or read in a magazine… But yet, what’s more confusing, is the fact that they have made it so easy for people to watch porn, and then turn around and act like OMG he/she is addicted to porn!! That’s disgusting!! How did that happen????….. It’s so confusing to me, and i admit, that i dont understand how it all works, it’s just a very delicate subject to me, mostly because it’s beyond me…
I think i got carried away, i hope my comment makes sense to you.. lol..
Addictions, regardless of the nature, should not be broadcast on television. Yes, they’ll bring in huge ratings for the station that airs them, but the long term effect that this will have on the patients themselves, will not be beneficial. The addicts are the ones consenting to have their treatment video taped, edited to suit the audience and aired for the public. Is anyone with an addiction, which I do fully believe is a disease, in a position to make this kind of choice for themselves? Addicts have already proven that they aren’t in a position to continually make healthy choices, why isn’t someone stepping in and putting a stop to this type of programming? The dollar. At the end of the day, that’s what it comes down to.
no way. I think intervention, at least, really does help people. Sometimes addicts need to be able to SEE themselves, see how they are acting, how they are affecting their families. And the show pays for expensive treatment, so that’s a plus too. I don’t think they are glorifying addiction at all, nor are these people getting famous.
I think the show would be great to watch if you knew someone who needed help. Their team really works on educating people about addiction, and what to do when someone you love is suffering from addiction.
Love it.
Celebrity rehab? Ok, more messed up. But I still love Dr. Drew to pieces.
I think the reason that people freak out when they hear the word “sex” in everyday conversation has to do with most people honestly not wanting to know what’s going on in anyone else’s bedroom.
There is such a knee-jerk reaction to the subject of sex (a mindset perfectly personified by the recent beauty pageant fiasco), and people are so unwilling to become informed and educated.
You’re right, replace the word with cocaine or booze and nobody would have any question that it’s an addiciton. What are we so afraid of?
I don’t doubt that there are a lot of people out there who struggle with sex addiction. I also don’t doubt that there are a lot of celebrities out there who lie and use it as an excuse for their philandering jerk-i-tude.
um, i don,t think u should tell a preis about your sex addiction, if u kno what i mean…
priest/ damn u keyboard!
Considering the un-rehabilitatable nature of sex offenders, I don’t put them in the sex addict category at all.
I wonder if they would be re-habilitatable if you treated it as an addiction rather than a crime. 100 years ago people believed alcoholics were un-rehabilitatable, too.
I’m sorry, but I have to give you a big thumbs down on that. Even pedophiles who have been enrolled in extensive rehab have a miserable “sober” rate.
well I duno. That is a bit too much like saying that someone repeatedly arrested for assault has a weapons addiction.
sexual offenders need to be treated much differently, because they are criminals, and they are dangerous, and they are very much known to re-offend.
I read way too much true crime.
I definitely think it is an addiction, I would assume they’re seeking out a similar high you get from a drug when they orgasm. That need is never fulfilled enough where they are satisfied and they keep trying to fill it, causing all the harm that a drug addict would similarly cause.
You first must understand the reason why a male has sex compared to that of a female. A good friend of mine says women have sex for love, while men have love for sex. When a man or a woman experiences an orgasm endorphins are released which stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain. The woman also receives another benefit. Sperm contains Oxytosin which can help a woman’s health and alleviates depression. Men are hard wired to spread their seed. A woman, however, is hard wired to pick a man with the best genetic material with which to conceive a baby that will be the healthiest that it can be. This selection process gives her offspring the greatest chance for survival and eventuality will also give the child a greater chance of being able to pass on his / her own genetic material. The hard wiring of the men to spread his seed is what actually allows the woman the opportunity to be able to choose from a diverse selection of genetic material. This is why sexual addiction is more of a problem with males rather than females. Men that are often rejected by women who do not accept their genetic material as acceptable often seek out other forms of sexual gratification in order to achieve an orgasm. Since feeling rejected, they often look for situations that will put them in a place of power over their prospective victims having not been in control in the past. Women, on the other hand, look for superior genetic material in which to become impregnated. Women who have this type of addiction usually suffer from low self esteem. She unknowingly feels that she is not worthy of a mate with superior genetic material. Low self esteem in women can stem from any number of things. They could have been molested as a child. She could have been abused and or belittled by a former mate and / or rejected to the point that she feels unworthy. This can result in her looking for quantity rather than quality to help her achieve orgasm and temporarily allow her to forget here feelings of depression. Unfortunately women with low self esteem often fail to reach orgasm and thus become addicted. Not to sex but to the act of having sex in an attempt to find orgasm. So, I have to agree with Evil Beet. The addiction to sex is not the illness, it is a symptom. If you help these people overcome the reason for their addiction and then treat it as a illness, they should be able to overcome their symptoms.
I have sex for sex’s sake though. I love having sex (no.. not addict though).
And no, I’ve actually learned that men are more hard-wired to pick out people with “superior genes” (aka, healthy attractive women). Women are more likely to seek out people who are able to provide. From an evolutionary standpoint, this comes down to parental investment. Men, from this view, are just trying to spread their seed and have lots of healthy babies, whereas women are more likely to be stuck raising the kid, so are more interested in a loyal and financially secure companion.
Actually, you have hit on another point of interest. Were you aware that infants tend to resemble their biological fathers more frequently than their mothers? Scientists speculate that this characteristic has evolved so that the biological father has less doubt that the child is his offspring and will stay and help to provide for the infant thus giving the infant a better chance for survival.
These traits and the ones mentioned in my earlier post have taken thousands of years to develop. What thatLisa has learned, is more of a recent development, especially in the United States. Those traits are more related with the socioeconomic development of a culture and less to do with evolution or genetics. Ask your self this? If a man and a woman are unable to obtain healthy superior genetic material with which to reproduce, which one is more likely to settle for less desirable genetic material with which to propagate? Most women will choose to refrain from having intercourse where a man will have more of a tendency to lower his expectations in order to meet his needs.
Speaking from an evolutionary point of view, human women are vixens. Where females of most species are only fertile, and thus willing to mate, at certain times during their period, human women are able to conceive on a vastly increased time table. To boot, they display signs of receptivity all the time. This is specifically designed to keep males hanging attracted to them and hanging around all the time, and hopefully to give more incentive to help out.
Isn’t nature cruel? Most people know that women that live together in close proximity minstrel cycles tend to align themselves with one another. Did you know that lesbians minstrel cycles do not? How you heard any information on this or reasons why this might be?
“Minstrel”?
that didn’t work on you though, huh Jeremy? You don’t fall for our vixen shit, you lucky thing :)
re: did I know that? Yes I did. I think it’s called parental certainty or something like that. That’s also why people will usually tell the father that the baby looks more like him. Women know 100% that the baby is theirs, but men don’t.
And well, I think what I said before still has plenty to do with evolution. Women, throughout history, have to be the ones to raise the child. It would only make sense that they care about loyalty and finances more, since they know they will be the ones most responsible for the child. And men are looking to just have their genes succeed, so are looking for mates who appear healthy and able to reproduce successfully.
I don’t know about your last point. PLENTY of women have children with good-for-nothing men.
of course, many social psychologists are still arguing whether or not that this is because of evolution. This is just the route I am most familiar with.
And lol at minstrel
Yes, I had to laugh at that too. I run every thing thru the Word Processor before I post it. If you misspell something and the computer thinks it knows what it is, it corrects it for you. I didn’t catch that one! Sorry! Actually Lisa, I saw a blog about that. It may have been on Evil Beet. It was about females are most likely to reach orgasm with a man that is successful and that has money. If I can find it I will post a link to it for you. Very interesting! Sasha, do you know where that blog is?
That article is here: http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/2009/01/19/women-our-orgasms-are-smarter-than-mens-too/
grumpalufugus? OMG!
Thanks Sasha, Thats lifecastastic!
Good to see someone’s actually reading the bios … :)
Sasha, I even know how you got your nick name in school and about your friend haveing to pee in a cup while you were driving! How funny!